Super Survivor Bros
Super Survivor Bros.| |Day 1-3, Delfino Plaza
(Ganondorf's audition tape)
Ganondorf's face appears in the darkness, his eyes full of anger. He begins to speak. "I Ganondorf will be a great addition to survivor because I promise to use my evil magic to destroy all in my path for the million rupees, but of course my wish is more important, Muahaha! My Wish, Muahahahahaha! allow me to join this pointless game and I will be the most horrible person there, everyone will fear me and I will make it the most miserable experience I can for everyone involved. (End Tape)
Shigeru Miyamoto: "Well, you know he's got my vote, seeing as he's one of my favorite villains that I created and all".
Hardcore Gamer: "This guy sounds L33T, I agree we should totally have him in maybe he will actually be more challenging as a boss fight for once".
Fanfiction Reader: "Interesting concept for a character, good opportunity for character development, who knows maybe he could develop some humility and become a nice person in the end, I just hope he doesn't win".
Old Grumpy Granny: "Fine put him in I don't really care, I'm only doing this because my superannuation is running out".
Day 1 (Delfino Plaza)
Postcard: Delfino Plaza is a beautiful little town next to the ocean, we have large luxurious houses and many tourist attractions, like the legendary Shine Sprite above the waterfall and many others.
Master Hand: "Welcome Smash Bros to our first location Delfino Plaza, you will remain here for 3 days until Tribal Council after which you will all be transported to another mysterious location. You will each reside in a different area of the town and it is up to you to figure out where to find food and water until the reward challenge on day 2 and then the immunity challenge on day 3. Finally at the end of day 3 I will reveal a huge! Massive! Twist! That will be so huge it will hugely effect the way you play the rest of the game. Good luck and now I will teleport you to your starting positions”.
Team 1 (The Docks)
Team 1 consisting of Mario, Wario, Diddy Kong, Toon Link, Ice Climbers, Metaknight, Wolf, Jigglypuff and Captain Falcon appears on a pier and looks around to see the ocean spreading out in every direction except the east which leads into town.
Toon Link: "Well, this is fortunate we won't have any trouble finding food here".
He noticed a school of fish in the water and began thinking about which of his items would be best for getting the fish out.
Mario: "What-a bout water, we can't-a drink-a this salty water".
Wolf: "No problem, I'm going to find some water in town surely someone will sell it".
Wario: "You're an idiot wolf, how are you going to buy water without any coins!"
Wario pointed to the top of a small house, on which some golden coins were floating and spinning stationary in the air as if by magic. Wolf's eyes went wide open in surprise.
Wolf: "Calm down Wario remember that I'm not familiar with this strange world, what technology makes those coins float there?"
Falcon and Jigglypuff turned their attention to this question as they weren't familiar with floating objects either. While the rest were still taking in their surroundings, which to everyone but Mario, Wario and Diddy looked strange.
Wario: "Are you kidding me objects float and move all the time, it's just their way of telling you they're collectible otherwise you'll think they're part of the scenery, it makes perfect sense. You're just an idiot wolf, I don't like you!"
Wolf: "The feeling is mutual so far, I didn't to anything to provoke this attitude from you Wario"!
Mario walked up to Wolf who was quite a lot taller then him a patted him on the shoulder.
Mario: "Don't-a take it-a personally wolf, Wario always talks-a like this"!
Wario grunted his annoyance and walked off in a random direction to be alone and start plotting his plans to win the game, without having to be nice to anyone. If only Waluigi was here he thought, his only friend.
The Ice Climbers playfully found a flat piece of ground and began hitting a block of ice between each other, Popo was male and dressed in Blue Eskimo clothes and his girlfriend Nana was in Pink. This was a game they never got sick of and their relationship with each other is so powerful they can't bare to ever be more then ten feet away from each other. Wolf walked up to the wall of the house and used the rocket boosters in his shoes to jump on top of the roof, he collected the coins but soon realized the roof was on fire.
Wolf: Oh no, can anyone put this out?
Jigglypuff waddled up to the wall of the house and took a deep breath and then started blowing strong gusts of air at the fire which soon put it out.
Jigglypuff: Jiggly... Puff!"
Diddy: Jigglypuff?
Jigglypuff: Jiggly!"
Diddy: "Well this is going to be annoying, can you say anything else?"
Jigglypuff: "Puff"
Diddy: "I see why they call you Jigglypuff, or were your designers lazy and made your name the only word you can say?"
Jigglypuff: "Jiggly Puff... Puff"!
Diddy: "Maybe I can help you, can you say Diddy?"
Jigglypuff: "Jiggly"?
Diddy: "Not Jiggly, Diddy, say Diddy, Diiii-Diiii".
Jigglypuff: "Ji-Ji"
Diddy jumped up and clapped his feet and hands together.
Diddy: "Yay, Close, but maybe you really can only use sounds from your name, At least I know that you understand me".
Mario had walked up and caught the second half of their conversation about language, afterward he made his input.
Mario: Its-a the same with me I can't stop talking with-a Italian-a accent and since Im-a E rated by ESRB, I cant-a use-a bad words-a.
Diddy: "Neither can I, I wish our developers weren't such pansies"
Captain Falcon zoomed over in a flash with his falcon kick, stopping just half a foot short of Mario.
Falcon: "Don't complain!, the video game market needs to be available to all people, or many of us wouldn't exist and we wouldn't have fans still following us today from their childhood, Heeya! No need to thank me for my legendary wisdom, now I'm off".
Falcon started running off with a cool looking exit, but then stopped and realized he hadn't made up his mind about where to go next. Falcon stroked his chin and then shouted,
Falcon: "I'm going to use my amazing speed to scout the area, Heeyaa"!
Falcon started dashing around the city and found that it was deserted, there were no people or shops, yet there were coins floating around everywhere. Falcon decided these shiny items would be useful for something and began jumping and falcon kicking everywhere to collect them all.
Meanwhile Toon Link whose cell shading made him look like the most out of place character had pulled out his fishing rod and threw it's line into the water and sat back and waited...... and waited. He eventually decided to have a close look at the fish and realized that they weren't being effected by his lure at all. Metaknight walked next to him and laughed.
Metaknight: "Ha ha! Have you figured it out yet?"
Toon Link: "Wha, no what's going on?"
Metaknight: "The thing with being in a different world is that the rules change, Here in the Mario world there is not one instance of anyone fishing, so the programmers of this game never gave the fish that behavior".
Toon Link: "Oh, well then how can I get to the fish?"
Metaknight: "Well they exist, so it's just a matter of physically grabbing them and luckily the water in this world doesn't kill you, so you can swim down to get them".
Toon Link: "Okay then, this is going to be hard to get used to".
Metaknight: "In each new world we appear in we'll need to ask one of us who live there about the rules, otherwise we could get killed by something we don't expect.
Toon Link: "Wow, thanks for the help Metaknight, I'll be sure to help you understand the rules of my world when we are there"
Metaknight walks off and starts practicing with his sword in the air.
Toon Link: Hey, I have a sword too, let's duel
Toon Link stands in front of Metaknight and draws his sword, Metaknight smiles.
Metaknight: "Onguard!"
Team 2 (Town Square)
Team 2 consisting of Peach, Bowser, Kirby, Pokemon Trainer, Snake, Donkey Kong, Ike, Ness and Samus finds themselves in what appears to be the center street of the town, houses line both sides of the street, including a particularly large building on the north side, likely being the town hall. In the center of the street there is a statue of the race that lives here, a tall plump being with a tiny palm tree growing out of their head.
Bowser takes a quick look at his surroundings and then jumps on the platform the statue is on and smashes it to pieces with a strong swipe of his claw. He stands on this elevated platform and begins stamping his foot, the sheer weight making the ground tremor.
Bowser: “All right listen lowly minions, I appoint my awesome self as the leader, since we all know there is no one better...”
Peach shouts out over bowser
Peach: “Bowser! Stop this no one thinks you're cool and we are not going to follow you as a leader, I'm the princess of an entire kingdom, I should be the leader, he! He!”
Peach's cute little chuckle made all the male characters blush.
Bowser: “Muahaha! You're wrong my wife, without Mario here there is no one who can defeat me, challenge my leadership if you dare!”
Peach: “I'm not your wife you ugly koopa, none of those attempted forced ceremonies concluded and I would never never marry you if you were the last being in the kingdom”.
Bowser: “Aw shucks” (whispers) “don't embarrass me in front of my minions”.
Ike walks next to Peach and breathes in her heavy but sweet perfume.
Ike: “I'd be a much greater suitor for you're ladyship, would I not?”
Bowser jumped down off the platform and landed next to Ike.
Bowser: “Graahhh! Don't you talk to my woman, I'll crush you!”
Peach raised her fists in anger and stormed off
Peach (angrily): “I'm not anybodies woman”
Ike: “You want a fight, you overgrown turtle”!
Bowser: “OVERGROWN TURTLE!!, That's it”
Bowser takes a massive swing with his claw towards Ike's face. Ike blocks it with his two handed sword and then whacks bowser in the stomach with it's hilt. Bowser topples over onto his stomach and begins weeping.
Bowser: Noooo! I though only Mario could beat me why!”
Ike: “Don't feel bad, trained for decades have I, I am not beaten easily”.
Snake was looking around puzzled mostly by the strange appearance of all these characters around them they all appeared to be plucked straight out a cartoon. Kirby especially caught his attention and was walking towards him. It was just a pink sphere with eyes and mouth and tiny arms and feet with no fingers or toes.
Kirby: “Wow, hello you look..... detailed”.
Snake: “Yeah and you look like a three year old child drew you, what the hell are you”.
Kirby: “My race was never given a name I was created when games had very limited graphics and my form has been updated very little”.
Snake (laughing): “You look like a marshmallow, man I feel sorry for you, you're a freak”.
Kirby: “That's not very nice, I'm happy with who I am and the abilities I've been given”.
Snake: “Abilities like what, being used as a soccer ball?”
Kirby opened his mouth extremely wide to almost the size of his body and began to breathe in, causing a really strong vacuum of air. Snake before he even had a chance to escape was pulled inside Kirby's mouth. Snake was terrified all he could see all around him was pink. Next thing he know he was spit back out and into a house wall. Kirby now had a blue bandanna around his forehead and clothes that looked like a simplified version of Snake's.
Snake: “What the hell, you kind of look like me!”
Kirby pulled out a rocket launcher and aimed it at Snake.
Kirby: “My abilities allow me to swallow someone and steal their powers or weapons”.
Snake: “Okay okay, I'm sorry I was mean, please don't shoot”.
Kirby laughed and then spat out a star immediately causing Snake's clothes and rocket launcher to disappear.
Ness walked around checking the town out while doing walk the dog tricks with his yo-yo. Pokemon Trainer decided to join him on his walk to get to know him.
Ness: “Hi I'm Ness, what's your name?”
Pokemon Trainer: “Uh... Well I don't actually have one”.
Ness (puzzled): “You don't have a name?”
Pokemon Trainer: “Nope you see my character was just randomly taken from a Pokemon game and chucked into this competition, My real name is Random Pokemon Trainer #423, according to the source code of my game, I'm one of many randomly generated characters the main character might fight at the battle tower”.
Ness: “Wow, that's must be a burden, I never thought of what it might be like to be a random NPC in a game that no one notices”.
Pokemon Trainer: “Yes it is a very sad and lonely experience, but now that I've been chosen for survivor I can finally become a real character with my own storyline and everything, I can feel myself becoming more complex every minute”.
Ness: “Good for you, I hope it works out for you maybe one day you'll be important enough to have your own name, and even a game”.
Pokemon Trainer: “Yes, that would be a dream come true”
Ness: “Huh, why do I sense that there are six other lifeforms with you”?
Pokemon Trainer: “Oh, those are my pokemon, I was allowed to bring them, since I don't actually have any abilities of my own, would you like to meet them, Squirtle! I choose you!”
Pokemon Trainer's pokeball opened up on the ground a revealed a blue turtle like animal.
Meanwhile Samus wondered around and saw Donkey Kong climbing up a tree trying to grab coconut.
Samus: “Hello there”
Donkey Kong was surprised that such a sweet feminine voice came from such a robotic looking creature, her suit was made entirely of metal, and completely hid any sign of gender.
Donkey Kong: “Food get, me get food for team”
Samus: “A talking Gorilla?”
Another strange thing Samus noticed was that this Gorilla was wearing a red tie.
DK: “Ooo!, Me talk well, me try hard”
Samus: “Well you do a good job, it definitely shows”
DK pulled a coconut off the tree and smashed it open on his forehead. It broke into two halves and DK handed one to Samus.
DK: “Me Donkey Kong, Me like you”.
Samus took the coconut piece and you couldn't see it under her helmet but she was smiling.
Team 3 (Lighthouse)
Team 3 consisting of Luigi, Pit, Link, Marth, Lucas, Pikachu, King Dedede, Fox and Mr. Game + Watch appeared inside a building, it was very plain and had a stairwell leading up to a lighthouse, they were also next to the ocean but there were no piers.
Pikachu excitedly began exploring every inch of the structure with stunning speed.
Pikachu: Pika-pi!
Luigi: “Wow! that little guy can move fast”.
Pit: “Ha ha! That looks fun, I wish I could do that”.
Pit began flying and trying to catch the yellow blur as if he was trying to catch a butterfly.
Pit: “Slow down!, sit still for a just little minuticus”
Luigi: “minuticus?”
Pit gave up trying to catch the Pikachu who had climbed to the top of it and was enjoying the great view of the town and ocean.
Pit: “Huff, puff!, Oh I meant minute, it's a habit of mine”
Marth: “The time for silliness is over we need to start thinking about food and water and... well I guess we have shelter covered”.
Pit: “We just got here oldie, it's the perfect time for fun”.
Pit flew over Marth's head and began flying into spinning coins floating in mid air, he saw it as a game and laughed at how the coins strangely dissipated with a bling sound as soon as he touched them.
Fox: “Geez, guys you know what the Master Hand is like knowing him he has probably put traps or enemies around everywhere”.
Fox carefully peeked out the door of the building with his gun at the ready and survey the area with his gun in one hand and his deflector in the other.
King Dedede: “If you read the contract you'll know that the only time this game could involve monsters is when we have challenges, which are stated as such. You are being paranoid Fox”.
Fox: “I don't care what you think I don't trust that evil hand”.
*beep* *Blip* *bebeep*
Fox: “What is that strange noise?”
Fox spun around with his gun and saw something very weird in the doorway it was some sort of 2D person shaped black thing in the doorway.
Fox (demanding): “What are you?, explain yourself”
Fox pointed his gun at the object and it soon moved but did so with an incredibly small amount of frames of animation. It practically only had about fifteen poses it could assume, but was also capable of morphing parts of it's body into any object it wanted.
Mr. Game and Watch made a flag appear in his hand and beeped a few times.
Fox lowered his gun
Fox: “Huh, what are you trying to tell me?”
Dedede: “That guy can't communicate he only consists of two sound effects and maybe 40 frames of animation he can assume?”
Fox: “Man, poor guy”
Dedede: “yeah, this is the fate of the earliest video game characters that are forgotten and never upgraded”.
Fox: “Hey how do you know all this anyway?”
Dedede: “Unlike some people I actually read the character profiles before I came on this show”.
Fox: “I can't believe I agreed to this, it's totally messed up”
Dedede: “You come from a world that makes a lot of sense don't you”.
Fox: “Well, I, I dunno?”
Dedede: “Yeah you may find it hard to adjust to some of the worlds we will visit”.
Fox: “There's more worlds, like this?”
Dedede: “Wow you really are ignorant, it's like you didn't even read the contract before you signed it”.
Fox: “I, uh, shut up”.
Dedede adjusted his heavy hammer on his shoulder and thought that walking talking fox has got issues. Game & Watch walked over to the beach using two frames of walking animation and then started making sausages appear off his frying pan, that appeared suddenly in his hand.
Lucas: “Wow! Did you see that this strange guy can make food spontaneously out of nowhere”.
The rest of the smash bros gathered around and started trying to catch some of the sausages. Lucas used his psychic power to attract one to his hand and caught it
Lucas: “OW!, It's hot”
Lucas dropped it into the grass and watched it's unusual 2d paper like shape have equally unusual 2d smoke coming off it.
Link: “What did you expect?, it's a sausage that just came off a frying pan”
Link pulled a bottle of water out of his, uhh... somewhere and poured it over the hot sausage on the ground to cool it down. Link then picked it up and took a bite.
Link: “Gak!, not very nice it tastes like charcoal, but it's better then no food at all”
Link resumed eating the rest of the sausage.
Luigi: “Well we've got to keep this little guy, he's a limitless food supply”.
Lucas: “I agree, he will give us a huge advantage over the other teams, here's to an immunity for our limitless food supply”
Game & Watch: *Beeep* *Bip*
Luigi: “Yep he seems to approve, anyone else got useful abilities, we would want to keep”
Pit (Shouting): “I CAN FLY, KEEP ME!”
Pit was flying high above them trying to chase down birds.
Link: “Now there's an ability I'm jealous of”.
Marth: “Let's not do this, claim that some of us are more useful then others, it will inevitably lead to jealousy and tension”.
Fox: “Fine, Mr. Sensible Let's Not Have any Fun!”
Marth: “Sigh, you are all immature kids, especially him”.
Marth pointed up to Pit who was now trying to imitate the birds aerial maneuvers.
Pit: “Weeeeeeeheeeeee!”
Link: “I'm an immature kid, really”
Link demonstrated some complex maneuvers with his Master Sword.
Marth: “Are you challenging me”?
Link readied his shield. Pikachu stood between them and shook his head, not wanting a fight to break out.
Pikachu: Pikaaaa!
Link “Maybe I am, vanity is something I can't stand”
Marth: “As much as I would enjoy a duel, we have more important things to do”.
Link laughed and put his sword and shield away.
Link: “If you say so”.
Luigi jumped on top of a house to get a view of the rest of the town and he noticed that it was deserted, it seemed that the town had been completely cleared so that they would be here alone.
Lucas slung his pet snake over his shoulder and began to levitate into the air, after ten seconds he got on the roof of the house and joined Luigi in his observation.
Luigi: “I wonder what my brother is doing?”
Team 4 (Waterfall)
Team 4 consisting of Zelda, Sonic, Captain Olimar, Ganondorf, Falco, R.O.B., Yoshi, Lucario and Conker appeared facing a massive waterfall around which there was a huge 40 foot white stone arch with a huge Shine Sprite at the top.
R.O.B: Analysis complete, water dangerous for ROB's moving parts, solution found, avoid”.
Sonic: “Looks like there'll be an awesome view from up there”.
Falco: “You're not planning on...”
But before Falco had finished his sentence Sonic was on top of the arch above the shine sprite. From here the entire town looked like a tiny playground, it only consisted of about 5 intertwining streets, Sonic could also see the tiny moving specks that were the members of the other teams. One at the west pier, one at the south beach and one in the center of town, they were at the north end of town and the separation between the teams seemed about even. Sonic run back down the wall of the arch to share the information.
Ganondorf: “Okay, fools! You will bow down to me and follow my orders if you want to live”.
Ganondorf held up his arm while laughing manically and a bright ball of energy bordered by dark purple started charging in his hand and growing in size.
Zelda: “No, Ganondorf, not this time”.
Zelda pulled out a bow a pulled out an arrow that had a head that was so bright, it burned your eyes like the sun to look at it. She readied it on the bow.
Ganondorf: “What, no way?”
Zelda: “You know by now that if I hit you with this you'll lose all your power for ten seconds and in that time”.
Ganondorf: “Dammit, but you normally only have that after Link has gone through eight dungeons and defeated all my minions”.
Zelda: “Link, killed all your minions a week ago”
Ganondorf: “Oh yeah, well you just wait after I win this stupid game Hyrule will be mine”.
Zelda: “You wished to rule Hyrule, didn't you?”
Ganondorf: “Ha ha! I won't keep it a secret I wished that I would rule the entire galaxy and that no one not even Link would be able to stop me, Muahahaha!”
Falco: “The entire galaxy, I don't think so I won't let someone like you anywhere near Corneria!”
Ganondorf: “If I win no one will be able to stop me, EVER!, MUAHAHAHA!”.
Olimar: “I have to agree, one thing's for certain, I'm voting you out at my first opportunity”
The five Pikmin around Olimar nodded their approval.
Conker: “I did not have that really bad day, just so a ****ing asshole like you can screw up my happy ending”.
Everyone stared at Conker in shock with their mouths wide open.
Conker: “Shit, what the hell is everyone looking at, is it something I said”
Yoshi: “You said happy bunnies”
Conker: “Happy bunnies?, no I didn't”
Yoshi: “I can't say what you said because it's forbidden by my programming, whenever I swear a random positive word comes out, like you're a big pretty wonderful, son of a sunshine flowerbed”
Conker: “Ha ha ha ha! That is soooo gay!”
Yoshi: “I know I can never say how much I love someone, I mean adore someone, ahh you know what I'm trying to say right”.
Conker: “How much you hate someone?”
Yoshi: “Yes that's the word, I love this freedom. Freedom!, even that word is forbidden to me, this is wonderful, no way!, sigh”.
R.O.B: “(Explanation) I was made for kids so my vocabulary is also of limited quantity”
Olimar: “What did you just say before spoke?”
R.O.B: “(Clarification) Since I am incapable of expressing tone of voice or body language, my program has to describe my mood and tone of voice, before speaking.”
Conker: “I am with a bunch of freaks, this'll be easy”.
Lucario had been completely still and silent in meditation until he finally said something.
Lucario: “I will win this game, I have trained harder then all of you, it is not a matter of if, only when”.
Sonic: “Ha! I've trained all my life to at last become the greatest video game mascot of all”
Olimar: “Was that your wish, Sonic?”
Sonic: “Yes, I wished to become a greater mascot then that annoyingly popular Mario, I mean he's a Plumber, come on why do people think a plumber is cool, I'm going to at last prove myself”.
Falco had been closely observing Lucario and noticed something unusual.
Falco: “Lucario why is your skin made of steel or something?”
Lucario: “Yes I'm am naturally made of steel, meaning I am invincible to all physical attacks”.
Falco: “Invincible, huh?”
Falco pulled out his blaster with blistering speed and shot a laser at Lucario. Just as the shot was about to hit him, he disappeared and Falco felt a hard metal fist hit him in the back.
Falco: “Ouch, ahhh! How?”
Lucario: “I am also quicker then I look, I am invincible”.
Olimar: “It will take more then strength and speed to win this”.
Sonic: “More then speed, ha ha I doubt it, speed is everything”.
Just to show off Sonic ran back up to the top of the arch and waved.
Ganondorf: “My magic will vanquish you all”.
Zelda pulled out her bow again.
Ganondorf: “So what you're just going to blackmail me for this entire game”.
Zelda: “If that's what it takes”.
Olimar: “and blackmail”.
R.O.B: “(Suggestion) Resources must be gathered for survival”.
Conker: “We are in a town, in survivor. Does anyone else think this is stupid”.
Sonic: There is no one else in the entire town, so I'm assuming all the shop are emptied out, so yes we are going to need to find food to survive, I'M ON IT!
Sonic became a blur and disappeared. Conker sat down against a wall.
Conker: “At least this isn't as bad a rolling a giant ball of poo up a mountain of poo, you pussies have it easy in your games”.
Yoshi: “That is delicious, I mean fun, Oh forget it!”
Sonic returned with an armful coconuts and bananas.
Sonic: “Now can MARIO DO THAT!, I don't think so”.
And so our 36 survivors got to know each other and then went to sleep, but what could be waiting tomorrow when they receive their first reward challenge.
Day 2
Team 1 (The Docks)
Mario arrived at the town bulletin board and found 4 pieces of paper tacked to it, one for each team he assumed. Mario pulled off one of the papers and began reading it as he headed back to his team. 'A name your team now needs, but lame it may not be, or a reward waiting for you will not be'. Mario immediately had his own suggestion he was looking forward to trying it when he got back.
Mario: “Our first-a challenge is-a easy one”
Mario called out as soon as he could see his teammates.
Diddy excited tried to snatch the piece of paper off Mario but ripped it in half. Mario handed Diddy the second piece and he began to read to the rest of the team.
Diddy: “A name your team now needs, but lame it may nor be, or a reward waiting for you will not be”
Wario: “Urk, what they couldn't afford a decent poet for this dumb show”.
Falcon: “Geez a monkey that can read, I tell you these fictional animals are ridiculous”
Ice Climbers: ICE BOTHERS!
Wolf: “Ice brothers, don't be stupid we should be called the Wolves”
Mario: “I vote-a Team Mario”
Jigglypuff: “JigglyPUFF!”
Toon Link: “Am I the only one who notices how selfish you're all being”.
Meanwhile at Team 2 (Town Square)
Bowser: I DEMAND IT BE BOWSER'S MINIONS!
Bowser starts blowing fire threateningly, while stomping the ground in anger.
Ness: “This is stupid none of us have anything in common what name could be possibly all agree on”
Ike: “It should be a name in common with none of us”.
Pokemon Trainer: “But that is boring”.
Kirby: “So it should be a name none of us like?”
Ike: “No that's not what I meant”
Peach: “I know the perfect name!”
Meanwhile in Team 3 (Lighthouse)
Pikachu returned with the challenge paper after only ten seconds and Luigi quickly took it and cleared his throat.
Luigi: “Quiet, Quiet!, A name your team now needs, but lame it may not be, or a reward waiting for you will not be”
The smash bros muttered amongst themselves
Luigi: “A name, what's popular nowadays?”
Pikachu: “Pikachu!”
Luigi: “No Pikachu, I know it's the only thing you can say, but we need something for all of us”
Pikachu: “PIKA PIKA!”
Luigi: “NO Pikachu!”
Luigi looked up from the paper and realized that Pikachu was pointing up.
Luigi looked up and saw that Pit had written something in the air with a long ribbon.
Luigi: “Pit you're a genius!”
One by one the muttering Smashers realized Pit flying above them and all shouted their approval, except Marth.
Marth: “sigh, stupid name but whatever, it's not up to just me”.
Loud Voice: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I HATE THAT NAME I HATE IT CHANGE IT, CHANGE IT NOOOOOOW!!!
(The ground shook)
Marth: “What was that?”
Luigi: “I could have sworn that was Bowser's voice, he sounds really angry”.
Fox: “Alright it's decided, let's get ready to meet the rest of the teams for the competition, I'll scout ahead and make sure it's safe”.
*Beep* *Bip* *Beep* *Bip* *Beep* *Bip* *Beep* *Bip*
It was a noisy journey.
Team 4 (Waterfall)
Team 4 have already decided their name and are halfway to the meeting place
Yoshi: “Oh Conker, that's name is Brilliant, and I'm not smiling for once, ah that's not what I meant to say, I LOVE this!”
Falco: Where's Sonic?
Conker: “He said he'll stay behind and still beat us there, what a cocky bastard”.
Olimar: “I like the colorful language you bring to the dialogue, it's refreshing”.
Zelda: “Yeah I'm tired of being censored, This team name will help us vent our frustration”.
R.O.B: “(Concern) Name not found in vocabulary, ROB won't be able to use it in conversation”.
Lucario: “Nobody will, except Conker of course”
Ganondorf: “How do you think I feel, I'm a bad guy I won't even be able to say our team name, GRRAAAH!!”
Team four arrived at the Town Hall and went inside, three fourths of the seat were filled by the other teams and in their seating area Sonic was already waiting for them, he cockily yawned at them as they sat down. Master Hand was standing on a stage in from of them.
Master Hand: “Welcome to your very first challenge and also likely your easiest, so you better enjoy yourselves while you can because your next challenge will probably make you want to cry. Let's get into it, Team 1 please step onto the stage”.
When they stood up they organized themselves into a particular order before walking on to the stage. It was left to right Captain Falcon followed by Diddy Kong, Metaknight, Wolf, Mario, Wario and Ice Climbers. Toon Link and Jigglypuff just stood behind everyone else.
Master Hand and everyone in the room gave them a strange look.
Master Hand: “Okay now if you're done with the performance I didn't ask for would you mind telling the judges your team name. Master Hand pointed out four people at the back of the room. Meet our panel Shigeru Miyamoto, Hardcore Gamer, Fanfiction Reader and Old Grumpy Granny. They will each be giving you a score out of ten, and the highest scoring name will win this lovely prize. Take it away Crazy Hand!”
Crazy Hand: “For a limited time only and only if your name makes us weep with pleasure, at absolutely no cost what so ever, walk away, tax free, no strings attached, better then a bargain, yours to keep...”
Master Hand: “Crazy Hand!, I don't have all day get to the point”.
Crazy Hand: “It a Brand New!!, Outdoor Barbecue (food not included) and and an amazing real working Universal Translator from Star Trek, Are you tired of not being able to communicate with everyone in your team, well with this little beauty not only can you finally understand everything they say, but you can also understand everything they don't say.... Oh wait that's not right”.
Master Hand: “Okay thank you Crazy Hand, now you've had the screen time you paid me for so get lost”.
Falcon: Are you ready to hear our name, Master Hand?”
Master Hand: “No I'm not you rude inferior character”
Master Hand jumped off the stages and grabbed the chair Pikachu was sitting on throwing him off”.
Pikachu: “PIIII!”
Master hand took the chair and slouched in it like a slob.
Master Hand: “Now I'm ready to hear it, hurry up!”
Toon Link stood to the left of Falcon, so the crowd could see him.
Toon Link: “Our team name is...”
Toon Link nudged Falcon hard.
Falcon: “Capt”.
Diddy: “Ong”.
Metaknight: “Night”.
Wolf: “Wolves”.
Mario\Wario: “io”.
Ice Climbers: “s”.
Toon Link: “Captongnightwolvesios”.
The Crowd starred in surprise and many of them started laughing. If Master Hand had a mouth that could droop open it would've.
Master Hand: “Are you kidding me, that's awful!”
Toon Link: “it was the only way we could all agree on a name, we had to all be a part of it. I didn't care to be honest”.
Master Hand: “I swear if any more of you had a stupid idea like this I'm going end this show right now before it damages my reputation, Judges!, rate this pile of waste!”
Shigeru Miyamoto: “Horrible, Terrible, I am ashamed to call you all my creative children, you have really let me down, one out of ten!”
Hardcore Gamer: “There are more creative names then that in Line Runner, because there are none, shameful, two out of ten”.
Master Hand: “Two votes and only three points, I hope you all feel really bad”.
Fanfiction Reader: “I just wrote it down, and it looks as bad as it sounds, one out of ten”.
Grumpy Old Granny: I like word puzzles, nine out of ten.
Master Hand: “nine out of ten, are you stupid, you're fired!”
Crazy Hand Grabs Grumpy Old Granny and throws her outside.
Master Hand: “From now on I'm taking over Grumpy Old Granny's vote, so here we go, an abysmal one out of ten, for a total of 5, now sit down and wear that horrible name forever as a badge of shame!”
The Captongnightwolvesios stormed of the stage and sat back in their chairs.
Wario: “Ha! I'd like to see them come up with something better”.
Master Hand: “What are you waiting for Team 2 get on the damn stage”!
Team 2 walked quickly the stage and Peach stood up the front as the spokesperson for the group, Bowser was moving around restlessly and glared at peach with fuming anger.
Peach: “We almost had the same problem as team one, but he, he. We found something that eight out of nine of us had in common”.
Bowser: “Grahhhhh! I hate you Peach, just as much as I hate Mario, this is your last chance!”
Bowser began stomping the ground so hard the whole room shook.
Peach: “We will now call ourselves the KoopaKrushers, because of our common dislike of Bowser, he he”.
Bowser: “I will DESTROY you all!”
Master Hand: “KoopaKrushers, meh, at least it makes some sense three out of ten, there your guaranteed to beat the awful team before you, Judges!”
Shigeru Miyamoto: I can't help but love Bowser just as much all my children, I don't really like the violence reference associated with the name so, four out of ten.
Hardcore Gamer: “Reminds me of the good old days when I would jump on the Koopas in Super Smash Bros and jumping on the axe to make bowser fall to his doom, ahh so satisfying, eight out of ten”.
Fanfiction Reader: “Why did you spell Crushers with a K, that's wrong”.
Peach: “It's meant to be spelled like that so that it becomes KK when in initials”.
Fanfiction Reader: “Sorry, I don't believe there is any excuse for bad spelling three out of ten!”
Peach: “Master Hand, surely, that's not fair”.
Master Hand: “Sorry but they make the rules, unless they don't vote the way I want them to, so you got a total of 18, good luck winning with that you'll need it.”
The KooperKrushers return to their seats and Bowser storms outside in anger. He makes a lot of noise as he bashes what's left of the statue's platform into pieces.
Master Hand: “I'm getting bored, Team 3!”
Team 3 walks onto the stage in no particular order, but Pit is flying and is holding a long white ribbon.
Luigi: “Our team name was the sole idea of Pit, so we will allow him to spell it out for you”.
Pit readies himself and then flies with surprising speed to make a word with the ribbon.
'L33Ters'
Master Hand: “Not Bad, Popular culture reference, everyone likes those, but awful presentation, five out of ten”
Dedede: “We were never told the presentation had anything to do with it”
Master Hand: “So, shut up it does now, Judges!”
Shigeru Miyamoto: “That gaming word, is the spawn of some evil console other then Nintendo, I don't like it, only we do anything original, four out of ten”.
Hardcore Gamer: N00Bz, that is teh 1337est nam3 3va, t3n out 0f t3n!!!1one”
Fanfiction Reader: “Do you have any idea how annoying these strange new languages are to read? You're only getting a five out of ten from me”
Master Hand: “You are winning on 24 points, yay this boring activity is nearly over with only one team to go, Team 4 I Summon Thee”.
The L33Ters headed down to their chairs as Team 4 approached the stage.
Master Hand: “Hurry up!”
Team 4 stood on the stage with Conker and Yoshi at the front of the stage.
Yoshi: “Our team name brings with it a special message, to all the video game characters that are never able to lovingly,”
Conker (Over Yoshi): “****ing!”
Yoshi: “Say what we really mean because of our great freedom of love”.
Conker (Over Yoshi): “Lack of free speech”.
Yoshi: “due to video game developers and other excited burly gentlemen”.
Conker (Over Yoshi): “Whiny Old Hags”.
Yoshi: “We are all happy to speak like children”.
Conker (Over Yoshi): “Coerced”.
Yoshi: “So now as the only 'M' rated character in our team Conker will now say our proud team name”.
Conker: “The ****ing Bastards!”
The other teams gasped and muttered amongst themselves.
Master Hand: “How dare you, I hate swear words, do you ever hear me using them, two out of ten, Judges!”
Shigeru Miyamoto: “This is meant to be a family show, could this turn into a show full of drugs, sex and alcohol just because of the introduction of one adult character, I can't allow this to happen two out of ten!”
Hardcore Gamer: **** all them emotionally unstable low self esteem, assholes out there, SHIT YEAH!! Ten out of Ten!”
Fanfiction Reader: “Swear words in fiction are just an excuse for a lack of creativity, I do not approve, two out of ten”.
Master Hand: “That totals 16 congratulations, you may hang your head in shame to the L33Ters”.
Conker: “You ****ing **** munching Pussies!”
Yoshi: “Yeah, what he said!”
The L33Ters stand up and begin hugging each other in celebration.
Luigi: “We won, the Barbecue is ours”
Lucas: “Yeah we have both a sausage machine and a Barbecue, PWNED!1@”
Pikachu: “Pika Pika Pi”
Link: “Oh yeah with the translator we will probably be able to understand Pikachu now”
Game & Watch: *Beep* *Beep*
Pit: “And maybe Mr. Game and Watchicus as well”
Fox: “Idiots, this won't make us any safer”
Marth: “Even I think you are overly paranoid and I'm a defender of my kingdom”
Pit: “Last back to camp is a rotten eggicus!”
Master Hand: “Ok GTFO, I've hand exercises to do tonight I don't want to be disturbed, See you all on day 3”.
Captongnightwolvesios (The Docks)
Wolf: “Ah, what a shame it would have been really good to be able to cook this fish, it's not very nice raw”.
Wolf used his strong teeth to crunch the fish, bone and all.
Mario: “I-a can heat-a it up for you with-a my fireball”.
Wolf: “Oh yeah, silly me, thanks Mario”.
Jigglypuff: “Puff! Puff! Puff! Puff!”
Ice Climbers: “What's wrong with Jigglypuff?”
Diddy: “I think she's annoyed that no one will ever understand her now”.
Ice Climbers: “Oh yeah tough break”.
Toon Link: “I bet those L33Ters are really enjoying that translator”.
L33Ters (Lighthouse)
Luigi is holding the translator that is glowing with a whole variety of colored flashing lights.
Luigi: “Why won't this thing work?”
Pikachu: “Pika!”
Luigi: “I know Pikachu I'm trying”.
Link: “Let me have a look at that, I'm good with items”.
Link holds the translator and studies it for a moment and throws it back to Luigi.
Link: “Heck if I'd know”
Dedede: “Well this is unfortunate, winning an item that doesn't work, wait Fox would know, FOX!”.
Fox walks over and takes the translator from Luigi.
Fox: “This is a very sophisticated piece of equipment, very sophisticated indeed”.
Fox runs up to the beach and throws the translator into the water.
Pit: “No!, Fox what are you doing”
Fox: “It's a tracking device!”
Pit: “It is not”
Pit flies over the water to try and save the translator.
KoopaKrushers (Town Square)
Bowser sits alone in the next street while hearing the KooperKrushers, that he doesn't consider himself a part of, laughing and enjoying each others company around a camp fire.
Bowser: “*Sniff* Why are they such bullies to me, what did I ever do to deserve such mean treatment?, *Sob*”.
Ike: “Bowser is crying back there, I never pictured him to be the first one to spill tears”.
Peach: “Bowser is a coward, without all his koopa minions around him he is just a big baby”.
Samus: “It doesn't sound like you like him very much”.
Peach: “Of course not, would you like someone who kidnaps you and lock you up every single year”.
Samus: “Maybe he just likes you”
Peach: “pft! I know that, but no matter how much I reject him he never gets the hint”.
Suddenly Samus gets punched hard in the back.
DK: “Donkey Kong like Peach, protect Peach from strange girl sound robot”.
Samus: “Ah! Why Donkey Kong”.
DK: “Donkey Kong fight Samus for Peach”.
Peach: “I hate this get away from me all of you”.
Snake walked pass Peach unaware of what just transpired.
Snake: “Hey Peach cheeks, want a cigarette?”
Peach slapped snake in face the and ran off to be alone.
****ing Bastards (Waterfall)
Sonic: “Yeah, 0.21 seconds a new record”.
Sonic looked over the town from his favorite vantage point on top of the arch.
Olimar practiced throwing his Pikmin as far as he could over the river running through the town from the waterfall.
Lucario: “Good, everyone, train hard, no pain no winning tomorrows challenge, we need immunity keep it up”.
Ganondorf: “If you think I'm doing anything you say, think again”.
Zelda pulls out her bow.
Ganondorf: “Oh come on leave me alone!”
Zelda: “Nope do the one hundred push ups like Lucario asked”.
Ganondorf drops to the ground and starts grunting.
Ganondorf: “What does this have to do my my magic power?”
Zelda: “Magic isn't everything”.
R.O.B: “(Informational) Some beings are too bound by the real laws of physics to be in possession of supernatural powers”.
Zelda: “Exactly like what happens when I shoot you with this arrow”.
Ganondorf (sarcasm): “Yeah because there's so many other way I could lose my powers, sheesh!”
Ganondorf (muttering): “I will have my revenge”.
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