I read this today, and laughed quite a bit. I decided to put it up on a whim Creadit doesn't go to me, by the way. Also bashes Rinoa, so don't blame me!

Squall: (Fighting Utlimecia’s final form) Grr… Go away!
Ultimecia: Why?! Do you not like me!?
Squall: (pauses) Hmm.. uhhh.. lemme think… ahhhh NO! (Slices Ultimecia )
Ultiimecia: GASP! NOOOO!! (Dishes out 1 more Ultima )
Squall, Quistis, and Irvine: GASP! NOOOOO!! (they fall unconcious… and for you slow people, they were defeated)
(Three days later)
Quistis: I can’t believe that the bitch, Ulti, is makiing us her house cleaners! (Dusts a shelf with a rather disgusting picture of a young Ultimecia eating ice- cream on a farm)
Irvine: Yesss.. I don’t think I can take any more of her ‘story times’ either…. One more childhood story and I’ll-
Squall: Irvine! Shut up! She has security cameras all around… FOOL!
Irvine: Ooops.. sorry.. (continues sweeping the stairs)
Squall: Alright! Who took the damn vaccuum!
Seifer: (Snickering quietly in a corner) Hehheheheh…
Squall: And who the hell is making that snickering sound? I’ve been hearing it for the last two days… eww.. what if I have a stalker… (shudders)
Seifer: (jumps out of his corner and onto Squall’s back) Heya buddy!!
Squall: What the hell?!
Zell: (punches Seifer ans he falls to the ground)
Seifer: OUCH! CHICKEN WUSS!!
Zell: HAHA!! SPOON HEAD!
Everyone: Spoonhead?
Zell: YESS!! SPOONHEAD! See… his head kinda looks like a spoon if you stare at it long enough.
Selphie: Umm… and why would you be staring at Seifer’s head so long?
(Uncomfortable silence)
Quistis: Okay…
Squall: Erm.. okay.. so Seifer, why are YOU here? Aren’t you like the Sorceress’ faithful servent or something?
Seifer: Umm.. well not anymore… See this is what happened, while you guys where going through time- compression, Raijin and Fujin had found a portal or whatever, and it led us to a porta- potty somewhere in Future Timber. I mugged some guy by the train tracks that was going on about Rinoa, I got some postions. I quickly gulped them up, and my health was fully restored! Anyway, Raijin, Fuin and myself hopped on a train that led us to Esthar. How it led us there, I don’t really care to know, but it did. There I found the Ragnorok. Being the usual ass I am, I hopped in and landed it in Centra. Raijin and Fujin and I walked the rest of the way to Edea’s Orphange, where we climbed the Chain to Ultimecia’s castle. I confronted dear Ulty (at this point, Seifer shoots a smile at a nearby security camera ) and we all played Triple Triad, and waited for you guys to show up. When I finally beat Ultimecia, she took MY Hyperion and sliced the table in half. Then she broke my poor Hyperion in half (sobs) and threw us out the window.
Squall: (Patting a now crying Seifer on the back) Oh… that’s rough…
Seifer: I know, I know
Rinoa: Oh, that poor Train Station man, oh how I loved those hot and steamy one night stands…
Everyone: … (sweatdrop)
Quistis: Okay…
Irvine: Yesss….. I remember that one night with him…
Everyone: (yet another sweatdrop)
Quistis Why am I always the one to break the silence!! I’m a mime from now on!!
Rinoa: …
Squall: Uh huh.. now Seifer, Gimme that vaccum cleaner!
Seifer: NO!
Squall YES!
Seifer: NO!
Squall: YES!
Zell: THIS IS GETTING NO WHERE! SPOON HEAD, GIVE THE DAMN VACCUM TO SQUALLY!
Seifer: okay master Chicken Wuss
(Seifer hands vaccum overto Squall)
Squall: Thank you, Seifer
Seifer: (blushing) You’re welcome…
Quistis: (Makes an embarrased look and points to Seifer)
Rinoa: OH! So, Quistis, you’re saying that Seifer is embarrased because he secretly loves Squall and Squall secretly loves Seifer?
Quistis: (nods head)
Selphie: WOW! How dod you know that Rinny?
Rinoa: I’ve had a lot of experience with Angelo
(Suddenly, Angel runs over and starts barking in Rinoa’s ear)
Rinoa: What’s that, bot? Ultimecia is drowning in the bathtub?
Angelo: Bark! (YES!)
Rinoa: OKAY! Let’s go save her!
(Rinoa and Angelo run off)
Irvine: She is extremly stupid… that could have been our chance to escape… grr…
Squall: (Making out with Seifer) Tell me about it, and I’VE had to put up with her through this ENTIRE game!
(Continues making out with Seifer)
Rinoa: (from someplace upstairs) and I thought you loved me squall!! (jupms out window)
Squall & Seifer: Well, that ends that problem!! (they continue making out)
(Suddenly, Ultimecia’s voise booms over the loud speaker)
Ultimecia: Attention all employees and maids! The annual Emplyee or Maid of the Week award assembly is to be held in the Game Room!
Zell: Huh? A game room?
Ultimecia: Yes, you imbecile, the Game Room!
Zell: Umm.. okay..
Ulti: And be there within 5 minutes!