Hilarious Roommate listing

[Korova]

I found this looking to see what roommate options were for my friend (a female) who is moving to the area... I can give you the link if you want (its on craigslist) but here is the text:

We are a very quiet, friendly, mature, mostly celibate couple and 1 other female roommate. Ideally, you'd share Vegetarian diet & gym exercise with us.

Price is negotiable: if you're open to sharing room/bed, it basically free; if you want your own room, that would be up to $500/month. $199 and maybe some veg. cooking would get you more "space". Be open to lots of hugs and gentle touch!

Since this is clothing-optional and open (no-privacy) bathroom sharing, only other females or couples would fit here; sorry, no single guys.

You'd need to have "regular" sleeping hours, like 11pm-7am; NO "night-owls"!

Just a block to the VTA light-rail. No pets.

Its fairly common to see stuff like "3 girls looking for female only roommate who shares similar schedules and diet" and quite understandable really... but this is the bay area and we like to take things a bit farther

edit: original link here: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/roo/302347923.html

[Taco-Calamitous]

"Be open to lots of hugs and gentle touch!"

"Gentle touch," huh? ....wow... lol... I can't... I can't get past that. Ha ha ha! That sounds... I don't know.

No-privacy bathroom... I would hate that. I get constipated when someone else is in the bathroom with me and I have to poop. My brother walks in all the time when I'm pooping, and I'm like "Get the hell out, dammit!" Fortunately, I'm a guy, I live in Oregon, and I have no intentions of moving to the Bay Area right now, however, so I guess I don't have to worry about that. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Korova]

Well if you need more privacy the article says all you need to do is cook.. haha