I've been stressed to the max. I should actually be studying for an aerodynamics exam, but I need to do something less stressful for the time being. The exam is two hours away, so I shouldn't be on here much longer today. You?
Hey. Yeah, I come in here in spurts. I've not played FF in some time so that hurts my chances, but everything I get back. What's up with you?
Hey, it's been a while.
Right now, I think it's safe to say that I'm really not looking for a relationship. I stopped 'looking' almost a year ago now. Things just seem to happen randomally. That's the part I like. I won't force anything to happen. Chances are I'll come on too strong and people don't normally like that. Not to mention being single is amazing. I don't need to lose sleep thinking about whether or not someone is thinking of me. Instead, I get those random texts out of the blue. THAT's what I like. Random is fun. Keeps my life interesting and not so disappointing.
Ya know, it's a hard thing to grasp and not something that with any amount of experience that me or anybody else could teach you or advise you on really. It's just one of those life things that you have to figure out. I think I found that there is a balance you will reach between caring too much and being independant, and until you find that balance you will always feel like you're too much of one or the other. But you'll find it, and you'll meet a person who you trust. I would say that it might be best to kind of think of a relationship more casually,,,, not meaning casual sex,,, but just that each person you date doesn't have to be "THE ONE" I think when you stop trying to find "the one" and just focus on what you actually truly like and don't like in a relationship, and in your life in general, then you'll find that balance.
Sorry for the delay. It was such a long reply, I didn't know what to do with myself. I also got busy after I left work. Went to a training session for the Election (I barely paid any attention to it. I was half asleep) I think I got 35 bucks out of it though. Woohoo! Sleep just didn't really happen for me yesterday either. I can say that I got about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Meh. I've gotten less sleep and survived. Your last sentence is exactly why I haven't comlpetely moved on yet. I've been so set on still trying to care for people that I either a) care too much, or b) not care at all. I don't like the non-caring part of myself. That's the part I need to focus on and fix. Unfortunately for me when I get into that non-caring mood, I just don't care . It's convenient, easy, and keeps me asleep at night. I tried to 'be friends' but he persuaded me into falling for temptation. I don't regret it. I'm just not sure if I should keep it going or just call the whole thing off. He'd be nothing more then a sex buddy to me. If feelings decide to come back, I'll let them, but I'm not going to let feelings take over my life again. I don't know if anything I just made any sense at all. I need to sleep! Anyway, it's great advice and I thank you for it.
Good luck on the job btw! I'm glad it's so convenient for you and I hope you have a good time. On the relationship front, I actually had a similar experience at a similar time in my life and being I'm a little older I'll tell you how I feel about it, and how you might in just a few years. In short. It doesn't matter now. I know that doesn't make you feel better at face value, because I was really really caught up with this girl I'd known since high school. She was my first real gf, but we'd broken up for a couple years and then got back together in my early college days. We were together for several years, and one day she just wanted to move on. I didn't know where I was really going in life and she had plans and she just wanted to move on. I've never been good with change, and she's the kind of women who knows what she wants and isn't affraid to go after it, and she did, and I was crushed because I knew she was right. In a similar way to you I was paralized for a year, probably 2. I dated a couple of girls but was pretty apathetic toward them. Then I realized! you don't have to try to feel love for that next person. You yourself don't need to feel like there's something wrong with you if you're not "in love" with or even super excited about this fireman guy. Just, be friends. Learn to enjoy your time together because of the things you like to do, and if you don't love him, let yourself understand that there's nothing wrong with that, and be comfortable in not having any feelings for him. Why? Because while I can't promise you, as who knows what's in the future, but there is an extremely strong chance that there will be a guy who one day you meet, after you've accepted that you won't "try" to have feelings, and you'll realize after a good bit of time that all of a sudden you do have those feelings again, and it's the right time for you to make more out of them. BUT!! until then, just accept relationships as being more casual. That doesn't mean casual relationships, it just means, don't feel the need to make them more than what they are. You will be more relaxed, and you'll be more open to what that person actually means to you. Looking back at it now, It feels like so long ago when I thought I'd never get over it. But it doesn't matter to me now. I wish I was a strong enough person then to have not felt so helpless, but I think I'd be scared that if I could brush away feelings so easily, that I wouldn't ever truly care about anybody to begin with.
Aye, Forums are the old style facebook. I still give a lot of credit to forums though. It takes a lot to run one and some of the best people of the world can all converse in the same place. It's nice. I'll need to go back to Orlando sometime soon. Maybe with my sister or something. She'd like that. I updated my journal. It goes into a bit more detail of what I went through. There are still a lot of tough spots that I just can't talk about, but that all comes in time. The whole journal thing really does help. Seeing what other people write helps a lot too. I love my music, and I love writing. It was easier to give up music, not so much writing. I still know a few songs from my marching band. I memorized a lot of competition pieces so I wouldn't have to carry around the music. Oh, the good ol' days. Same to you. I'll be on at least once a week after I'm finished my airport job next week. Can't say how much I'll be on when I'm back at school, but I'll try. Thanks for lending an ear
Yeah good times. I love it there, but I'll be honest my favorite rides are the classics, even though they aren't as big. I love running around Tom Sawyer Island and doing Pirates of the Caribbean. Funny enough I also played Tuba in band, but didn't take that into high school. I got into soccer and was on the school team and another traveling team so I didn't have any time. And I'm not really musically inclined anyway. I'm more of a writer. You said that you had a bad experience with an ex? I didn't pry too much when I was reading it, but if you wanted to expand you can. I've actually never friended anybody on here before, so feel free to talk away. I don't even do facebook. Mostly I'll comment on topics I think are interesting and that's about all, but you seem quite fun.
I miss that place. Last time I was there was almost 4 years ago. We went on a school band trip. That was my first year travelling with my huge tuba. Me and Tuba were good buddies after that We had to part when I graduated though. I miss it, but my sister seems to be taking good care of it. That's what I get for having a sister that's just about as headstrong as I am. I taught her well . Disney was a memorable trip though. I think I remember something along the lines of the Tower of Terror being my favourite. It had a twilight zone theme (not the cheesy vampire twilight thing......booo). I think the group I went with went on it 2-3 times in a row. We also had express passes to other rides which gave us an hour wait time between rides so we'd be running from one to the other to catch our times. It was fun.
yeah I love disney. I haven't experience the passport rule just yet, but I'm going to London next year and Rome after, so we'll see how that goes. You know though I have had a couple of cruises though so I have done the passport thing a few times now that I think about it. It was ok. Anyway, I'm a pro at disney. I love the place and know most of the ins and outs but there's so much there it's difficult to keep track of it all. It's just fun.
Yeah absolutely. I'm learning...That's the main part. I got so lost on lost I didn't even know I was lost...(That was lame, I'm sorry you had to read that) Travelling is always fun. I haven't traveled since they enforced that passport rule. Up until that time I have traveled to NY, NY; Orlando Florida (just Disney land really), Detroit, Buffalo, Boston, In and around those areas. Then around Canada in places such as Alberta, Quebec and all over Ontario. Mostly Toronto. That's where I was born and raised. That's a whole other journal entry that I'll have to write. I love Toronto.
Hey,,, read your journal, I'm glad your so super passionate about your career. It's fun to love something that much, and be so interested you would do anythign to learn more. And good call on not being hyper about getting into a relationship. In my experience, you just be happy with yourself and your interests, and finding somebody you like will just happen in time. But you can't make it happen that's for sure.
I am the crazy man from Lost, and I loved that show. His character took an odd twist, which I'm puzzled over, but,,,,,,, well anyway, I too love FF, but I do a lot of other things. I am in the hospitality industry, which is fun, because I'm in Orlando and get to meet a lot of interesting people and see a lot of fun things. I'm 30, and I enjoy traveling. I've been to Chicago, Vegas, & New York in the past year and I make some weekend trips sometimes to St Augustine or Daytona Beach. I am into sports and play tennis regularly. I can juggle, I love debates, and history, and I'm 5'9 175. Whatever that's worth. I'll think of plane questions!
I suggest you read my journal. It's a bit long so I'll see if I can shorten it. I'm 22, blonde hair, blue eye...yada yada yada. (I'll show proof when I get to my home computer. I'm evading work right now) I love FFVIII. I don't care what people say about it, I still love it. There is one thing I love more then life itself and that's my job. I work in the Aviation Industry and absolutely love planes. All types of planes. If you ever need to know about a plane, I know how to get the info. What about you Locke? You are the crazy man from lost?
