It's my last day! Well, last day of class. I have an essay due at 5pm today that I really need to work on (instead I'm here, talking about it...), and then just under two weeks to study for one exam. ...and then I have the second trimester until October. But oh well. Then I will be finished! ...and then I go back for at least one year of post-grad. I really want to travel though.
Fibber. I was just about to say you're up early, but I just remembered you said you still have uni. ...Gutting, haha.
...I didn't change any of them. I certainly didn't change them all from 'New Zealander'. <.< >.>
I love how you change them all to Welshman. Rude! Why did the Brits bring back so many sheep from the Falkland Islands? War brides.
There was a Welshman named Jake who got himself fired from his job in the city. He was out of work for a while, then started to get hungry. So he swallowed his pride, and went out to the countryside to find work, and found a sheep ranch. They hired him. The first night he was there, the other shepherds woke him up. "Get up," they said. "It's time for your initiation!" "Initiation!" But how bad could it be, he thought. After all, they are just a bunch of sheep tenders. They took him out back of the sheep-pen, and he saw all the other guys lined up waiting. "Go on," they said. "It's time you showed us you are a REAL man!" "Huh?" he said. "That's right," they said, pointing at the sheep. "Show us you're a real man." "Oh, no," he thought. "They couldn't possibly want him to..." but then he really needed the job. So he squared his shoulders and went and picked out a sheep. He led it behind the shed. After a moment, the others were rewarded by the sounds of, "Baaaah BAAAAH..." A couple of minutes later the cowboy came back out, buttoning his pants, to see the other guys all laughing at him. "Oh, great," he thought, "now I've really been had." "So, what?" he said, "Was I not supposed do that with the sheep?" "That's not it," they laughed. "It's just that you picked out an ugly one."
A New Zealander finally makes his fortune and is having his dream house built. As he talks to the architect on how he wants the house built he says, "See that tree there, don't cut it down because under that tree I made love for the first time." The architect says he understands the sentimental value of the tree and he will design the house so that the tree isn't harmed. Then the man says, "And you see that tree over there, I don't want it cut either, because her mother stood there and watched as we made love." The architect could hardly believe his ears, "That's incredible, what did her mother say?" To which the man replies, "Baaaaaa.''
When a tourist coach passed through Newport, Wales, one of the passengers noticed a sheep tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street. "What's that?" she said. "Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"
Ugh, you're a nob, that was going to be my next one! Why did the sheep jump off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn.
Two Welsh sheep farmers are flying the mob to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. SH1: "Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!" SH2: "What about the sheep?!" SH1: "Bugger the sheep!" SH2: (pause) "Do you think we have time?"
Where do you get virgin wool? ...Ugly sheep.
A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: "Kia ora mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?" Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi." Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?" Dog: "Doin' all right." Villager: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Dog: "Yep." Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Villager: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Horse: "Yep." Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Villager: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Villager: "The sheep is a liar."
Meat and wool...
Haha. Which are?
No... a pimp. I hear they have 2 new uses for sheep in New Zealand.
Amorous?
