We'll be like Jimmy Carter, but except for winning the Nobel Prize for building houses, we'll win it for creating a earth oasis... but what happened to the clowns, midgets, white guys and black guys, the heists, and all that crap?
I'm going to school for environmental sciences, so perhaps when I learn a bit more, I'll be able to chemically separate water and salt.
I don't think there's enough fresh water areas, but there is enough water in the oceans. We could remove the salt and use purified sea water to water the earth.
An earth oasis project. That would most certainly win us the Nobel Prize. Okay, so we need a large fresh water supply. No salt water, because the salt would just kill the fertilization. So where can we find enough fresh water to create a worldwide oasis?
If we have a big enough water supply in the desert, it'll be green and fertile, like Los Angeles and Las Vegas.
Giant carrots... Then maybe we don't have to feed our midgets 1,000,000 carrots per day after all. They could conceivably only need one. First, we need land for our giant carrot farm. I'll seek out purchasing the American Great Plains. That should be enough land.
The midgets are going to be yellow/orange, then, because in order for them to obtain night vision, they have to eat a diet consisting of 1,000,000 carrots a day, because it's a proven fact that carrots make you see in the dark.
Like mass quantities of white food die for white lights, or mass quantities of red food die for red lights. Or for green, just have them become vegans. That could work.
Maybe the glow of the light depends on the clown's skin color. That would be a fun (and racist) experiment to try.
I'm not really sure if a radioactive luminescent clown can strobe. Perhaps if something is put over him or her, blocking the light for a few milliseconds, and then removed, and repeated over, and over, and over again, but that kind of sounds like a pain in the neck.
Glowing midget clowns? Well, I guess we could, although we kind of need midgets for night vision, but I guess they could multitask. Besides, there are, after all, different sized light bulbs. Midgets could be the small ones.
Delaware tap water is pretty polluted, due to the DuPont's experiments at their experimentation station, but I just filter tap water. I just got an idea. There's an island not far from where I live in Delaware, called Three Mile/Artificial Island. It holds a nuclear power plant, which I'm assuming is three miles long. I can go there, collect radiation, mix it into your potion, then we can give that radiated potion to clowns, hence making them luminescent, giving our plan for fluorescent clowns to replace light bulbs legs to stand on.
Tap water is free, as long as you're getting it from a public source. Plus, I never understood the purpose of buying water. Why buy something that's so available?
Wait, what? Some of the crap that I suggested could conceivably shorten lives, not extend lives... But technically, you can put all the crap you want into the medication, even meth, and if you label it as a life extension medication, the placebo effect will occur, and it could actually be beneficial. You don't actually need to make a potion. It could be just water, but if you get people to believe that it's a life-extension potion, it will work. You could win a Nobel Prize for this.
How about some prune juice mixed with laxatives for a clean and healthy colon? And some heart worm medication for dogs to prevent heart worm in humans (do humans get heart worm?) And some aspirin, to make the stomach bleed.
