No, they aren't!^^ I will personally stalk you, find out where you live, and send you some (evil) chopsticks!
As long as you remember the evil that is mini-pretzels. And don't forget, chopsticks are more evil than mini-pretzels!
Oh, my God. Pretzels are gonna creep me out now!
Not when said pretzel makes you bleed quarts of blood.... that is if you were the size of an ant. But still, it soaked through a good 4 bandages.
It's a pretzel! Candy canes hurt waaaaaaay more!
I wish it was like that... but no, my tale is full of humiliation... Once upon a time, long long ago, in a far away land of Washington State, there was a boy who liked mini-pretzels. One day, he grabbed a fated pretzel, this pretzel, unlike all the others, was evil in mind and body. The boy took a bite of this pretzel, creating a jagged edge on the remains of the pretzel. The pretzel, in a fit of rage, forced the boys hand to quickly descend on to his other hand. With his last ounce of life, the pretzel dug it's razor-like edge deep into one of the fingers of the boy's other hand. That act of rage changed something in the boy, from that day forward, the boy swore revenge on all other mini-pretzels. He now attacks the pretzels in one bite each, not allowing them a chance to escape or attack back. That boy, was me, and this story is true. Listen and learn.
Is it from the salt? I get a bleeding tongue all the time form salt and melty candies!
Yeah... mini pretzels... I got a nasty cut from one when I was younger... I... I don't like to talk about it... makes me feel emasculated. :'( Oh, but chopsticks are tricky like that, that's what they want you to think. One day, when you least expect it... POW a plastic or bamboo chopstick will give you the worst splinter in your life. *Insert the more you know the more you learn music*
Mini pretzels? No, only the wooden ones give you splinters, not the bamboo or plastic ones.
Lethally evil... Not only that, but there's the chance for splinters. Very evil... They're one step up from those mini pretzels...
No, I'm a teen boy. But I use chopsticks! They're lethal, aren't they?
Pfft, asians aren't scary, only chopsticks are. Well, unless if you're an asian woman, who is mad, and has a couple of bricks in her purse... then I'd run for my life. Okay, it's any mad woman, with bricks in her purse that I'd run from. They're scary too.
From an Asian! Haha! Who's thirteen, might I add.
My greatest fear realized, a pair of sentient chopsticks?
Guess what I am?
