Why are people continuously bothering a dead girl? She can't come back. She's dead!
She's been gone for a few Tuesdays now. The Space midgets and monkeys could have already attacked, hence the reason why she's mysteriously disappeared. And why the hell are people still calling me Egon?
Don't listen to them. You can't come back too soon, or else you'll never get away from the Space-Midgets. Or Space-Monkeys, as I mentioned in my last post, but I think that was a misprint. Or perhaps you're in danger from both Space-Midgets and Space-Monkeys. That would suck... kind of.
Space-Monkeys are tricky little bastards. It's hard to escape from them. It's no surprise that you've been missing since the 18th. By my calculations, it'll take you another six months to get away from them. That is, of course, assuming that they won't kill you, or already have.
Did a Space-Midget get you? Is that why you're nowhere to be found? If so, then that would explain a lot. Those Space-Midgets are almost as deadly as those damn Aqua-Caucasians.
Was it a bus that killed you? Buses tend to kill everybody these days. People just walk out into the middle of the road without looking, and then a bus turns a corner and runs that person down without a second thought. They're ruthless, vicious killing machines built for the soul purpose of running people over. Skynet will pay for creating them.
You are dead, aren't you?
If you're dead, I still expect a response.
Did you die?
I have a question. How does a heist on Wall Street fit into the original plan for fluorescent clowns? The conversation got so big, with so many side details, that I kind of lost track.
Right, Twilight. The movie I'll never see, and the book I'll never read. That's probably why I got confused. Alright, if that guy is the new in-thing for girls, then he would probably do very well as a distraction.
Who the hell is Robert Pattinson? And what's a TwiHard? I'm confused.
Yes, the paparazzi do seem to follow Paris Hilton around like she's the messiah. That would be an excellent distraction. So for distractions so far, we have a lot of gasoline on fire, Tina Turner, and Paris Hilton. That's an interesting combination.
That could also be part of the distraction during the Wall Street heist.
That gives me an idea. Since neither one of us is very famous, we should get Tina Turner to be our spokesperson.
