Excuse me.

About two months ago, I went to get my teeth cleaned. My dental hygienist found out that I was recently divorced. She asked about my music, and then asked if I knew a local drummer named Scott. I did not know a local drummer named Scott.

A few days later, I get a call from my dentist's office, but I ignored it because I was busy. Then I got an email. From my dental hygienist. Saying she had been thinking about it, and Scott and I should get coffee.

I ignored the email.

Today, my dad got his teeth cleaned. My hygienist asked him if I was seeing anyone. My dad said that I was (because I am). She blew right past that obviously irrelevant information, and started telling my dad about Scott. She told my dad how great Scott is, how we would make such a cute couple, "here, look at his picture, I've told him and his parents all about Alisyn, and they think she sounds great, and he'd love to have coffee with her sometime."

Scott is 37, never married, and there's nothing at all wrong with that except that his parents probably want him settled down and having their grandbabies a year ago. That is a hefty pile of expectations with which I want nothing to do.

Two months my hygienist has been holding onto this idea. She gave my dad a card with her cell phone number on it, so that I could call her in order to set up a meeting with (presumably) husband number two.

If you thought I waited a long time between teeth cleanings before....