Halie

Because I'm narcissistic like that.

Anywho, it's been almost a year since I last made a blog post and I was just at the end of my first year of uni then. Now I'm at the end of my second! Well, almost. Technically I don't have any classes until September but I've got a festival for term 3, so I'll be directing a show with my friend. We're putting on a play which is actually a novel about Virginia Woolf, which we've adapted into a play ourselves. We have to give it a different name though because we technically don't have the rights, but according to our tech leader it's non-profit and for educational purpose sooo we can get away with it?

A lot has changed in the past year. I feel pretty different to the person who wrote that last blog post, but not too much, I suppose. I guess the biggest change is, I have a girlfriend now.

Yup, you read that right! I'm in a relationship with another girl. I wasn't out as bisexual before we started going out, so I had to deal with telling my parents about all that. They were super fine with it! Reacted a heck of a lot nicer than I thought they would. But my mum was very, very surprised, and I don't think she takes it very seriously. It seems like she doesn't believe bisexuality is a real thing. She seems to think we're more "just friends" than anything else, and she discourages me from telling my nan, who is very "lesphobic". I haven't told her about it, it's not really worth it until I can't not tell her, if you know what I mean. Dad's super cool about it, and said he wasn't surprised at all which is pretty funny. He said he thought I was gay when I was younger but then I started getting boyfriends and he just dismissed it.

As for my girlfriend, she's incredible. She's from Belfast. I might've mentioned her before, her name is Orla and I met her on my second day of being in Exeter. One of my best friends (Ellen, who I've definitely talked about) went to school with her, and she, Orla and I decided to live together with two other girls. Ugh god, I just fell in love with her. She's so much fun to be with. I'm not gonna go super into it because it's corny as hell, but I just love her. I'm sure I'll regret posting this onto the internet, and I'm still so young but one day I'll marry this girl. I'll come back and find this post in 10 years and I'll let you know. Don't judge me too harshly.

Speaking of marriage, one of my best friends from home got engaged recently. That was pretty bizarre. Smacked me right into adulthood, aye. She's been with her fiancé about the same time as Orla and I have been together.

Another big change: I don't want to be an actor anymore. As much as I enjoy it, it's just not feasible. Realistically, I'm not good enough, nor do I look good enough to scrape by on my appearance. I will always enjoy eating cake more than I'll enjoy auditioning for parts (my god I ****ing hate auditons). There's good and bad to not wanting to be an actor anymore. The good is that I'm no longer worrying about how to make it in that field, and about what job I'd want to have in order to get by whilst trying to make it. The bad is that I have to start all over and figure out what else I want to do. I think I have a pretty good idea, I'm just not sure on the specifics. I definitely would like to go into a field related to women/gender studies. I'm just not sure what job exactly. I'm pretty certain I'd like to do a Masters when I finish this degree, in something more specific to that area. I learn a lot about feminism and queer theory on my course, so it's not like this degree was a waste. I learn so much about a lot of things, and I do still love a lot of things about my course. I just don't wanna act for a living anymore.

I really want to volunteer at the local women's aid/rape crisis centre, and I sent off a request for application forms but I missed the deadline for the next training course, so I have to wait til next year. I'm a little bit concerned because it'll be around the same time I'm writing my dissertation, but I really, really want to volunteer there so I'm certain I'll make it work. It won't be too much, I'm sure. But I'm terrible with time-management is the only thing.

I'm really sorry that I've just strolled on in and made a blog entry and I don't even really post anymore around the forums. I'm a shitty member. I really wanted to give an update and just reflect on the year since I haven't done so in a long time. Hope you guys are well

Haliefax