Excuse me.

I have a show tonight, and I'm actually butterflies-in-stomach nervous. I can't tell if that's over the show or having to park downtown (uugghh). Or the idea that I might blow ass on stage (I feel fine, but I'm still having issues hahaha). I'm looking forward to it, though, and I think I might see some people I haven't seen in a while.

I forgot to mention this ever, but I have a bit of a situation. I wouldn't call him a stalker, but he for sure has some issues with boundaries. He started coming to my shows over a year ago I guess, taking pictures and video, which I didn't mind. I did mind when he started hinting that he'd like to be paid for this (this thing that I had never asked him to do). I dodged the issue and made an escape to another conversation. However, he keeps coming back and even went so far as to show up at Caleb's birthday party back in April, simply by finding out about it on facebook. He was not invited. He is also 37 years old with schizophrenia. At events like "Movies in the Park," he found our group of friends and sat down next to me to talk about WHATEVER, totally oblivious to how uncomfortable and cold I was being. Not mean, but... certainly not warm and excited to see him.

He now tries to insist that I send him texts about my shows and events. I've told him he can find that information on facebook like everyone else does, but he still sends me texts asking for information (I never respond). He also tried to come to a tailgating party a friend was hosting (and posted about on facebook) and called Alex and Caleb all day trying to find out information about it. Today, he sent me a text asking about my show tonight, and then complaining about gas prices and how he was low on money, and could I get him in at the door without cover. WTF. I didn't respond. Then he texted Caleb, telling him to tell me to check my phone.

I'm so sick of this presumption, this intrusiveness. I don't think I'm the only person he's fixated on, but I'm certainly one of the more extreme cases.

This person does not understand that getting up on stage and interacting with an audience is my JOB. It's my ****ing JOB and once I'm paid and I go home, THAT'S IT. OFF THE CLOCK. Don't show up uninvited to other people's HOMES and see you if you can bum a beer. Don't text me in an effort to get special attention when the information is right there for you where it is for everyone else. Don't try to manipulate me with this "well I know this about you, so maybe you could do this for me" bullshit that you try to pull on everybody. And that sucks that you have schizophrenia, it really does, but kindly **** right off out of my personal life. ****. Boundaries, you ****.

Anyway. I need to stop putting so much energy into this negative person and focus on putting on a good show tonight. Felt good to vent, though.

So! Happy thoughts. Wish me luck.