Excuse me.

Haha idk!

So I did actually manage to get 50,000 words in November, and am a NaNoWriMo WIINERRRR. The story isn't done yet, and without a looming deadline, my progress has slowed, but I AM still working on it. I try to get a little done each day, even if it's a measly two sentences. The holidays are giving me trouble for having any time to myself, and I've got to make up for all the nights I blew off Caleb to write.

It's time to consider New Years resolutions, and look back at the ones I made last year. I wrote them down and put them in my bedside table drawer, and have pulled them out to check on them every so often. I've actually accomplished a good number of them!
Last year, I resolved to:

• Read more books (check!)
• Move into a house - I actually meant to rent a house with Caleb, but we went ahead and bought one (check!)
• Eat as a pescetarian for 1 year (check! Well, in a few weeks, check. And I plan to continue. I feel much better, and it works well for me)
• Spend less, save more (I managed to save enough to split the down payment on a house, so that's nice. Building savings back up now, so sort of check)
• Go backpacking for multiple nights (check! Grand Tetons)
• Start a blog (check? Started GreenTums, but I've been bad about updating it the last few months, which sucks of me. Room to improve there)
• 25 min 5k (I am not sure about this one. I haven't been in an officially timed 5k since May, and my time back then was 26:39. I imagine I've sped up considerably in six months, but I haven't actually tested it yet.... but my fitness has improved a great deal, and I count that as a win)

At the time I wrote that list last year, I was not engaged and was working as a server and living in a one bedroom apartment. During the course of this year, I have gotten engaged, bought a house, quit serving, got through abnormal cells and surgery, started working as an instructor for boot camp, started a higher paying office job, and gotten into the best shape of my life.
^that paragraph was like... almost entirely for me lol. But it does remind me that even though it seems like I JUST celebrated Christmas only recently, a year has gone by, and a lot has changed.

Two friends of mine were married last weekend, and I sang for their ceremony. It was wonderful to be a part of it, and it was nice to be playing out again. I haven't done much of that for months. A friend sang harmony for one of the songs, and it was good to do that with her again. We were close for part of high school, had a falling out, and lost contact for several years. She's moved back to work on some of her own issues, and in that process, we've reconnected. I am very happy with how it's going. I think we're both better people now.

I've been having private thoughts about my social shortcomings, and wondering if I wasn't a little up my own ass for a lot of my teens and early twenties. Even a little introspection tells me that I was. It's a bit embarrassing, but hopefully also behind me. I have already started on some new years resolutions, and one of them is to keep practicing gratitude for what I have. I have noticed a lot of anger and anxiety floating around in my head, and I'd like to temper that. I need practice. And constant reminders that everyone else on the highway is NOT a "stupid ****er."

I think perhaps that 2013 was my year for outer improvement, and that 2014 should be a year for my insides. I need to be able to look myself in the eyes and know that I'm working to be better.

Also I want to finish this novel and see if I can turn it into something.

But right now, I want some soup. I've been ordering food from a local food network (local farmers and gardeners), and the potatoes I got last weekend are good enough to eat raw (which I did). I was a little nervous because they were soft, but it turns out they're just really awesome potatoes. And they are in my soup. Lucky me!