Andromeda

Silence held in the forest as Saki held on to Chiharu. No words were needed between them for that moment. A flood of emotions from Chiharu had been released that had been trained into her to keep held in. Time drained away slowly letting things run their course until Chiharu was ready.

Saki kept her eyes on Chiharu watching her as she stayed with her. ‘…she never gave herself the chance to grieve…’ It was clear to her that vengeance was almost instinctual for Chiharu. The mindset that she had to be given at a young age bothered Saki. ‘…she couldn’t allow herself that moment… just like with her parents…’

Saki rocked slowly back and forth with Chiharu just letting her be. While her thoughts spun question after question in her mind trying to understand the family. ‘…what did they do to her to make her like this? She needs time to be a girl, not a killer for hire…’

Chapter 45 – Girl No More

Chiharu pulled her head up still running with tears, but looking a little stronger than before. She pulled away from Saki with no resistance. There was a small distance put between them as she looked straight at Saki with a long face. ‘…how could…I…I felt…safe…’ Her eyes lowered a bit as her hands moved to try to wipe away the tears with her suddenly becoming embarrassed. Freely running emotions were still pouring through her even as she tried to close the door. “Grandfather…he’s dead…”

Saki reached out her hands to place on Chiharu’s hands for comfort. The tension and uncertainty could be felt the instant she touched her. “It’s alright, Chiharu… You’re allowed to cry…”

“But I couldn’t…” There was choking in her words as she paused. It was a thought that was part of her instinct that she could not turn away from. “…avenge him…”

“…Chiharu…”

It became clear that she was having trouble speaking, but it was something that felt was necessary. Every time that she stopped she was pushing herself to keep going. There was something that would not let her stop. “They were right…in front of me…”

“You don’t have to Chiharu.” Saki tried to lean over, but Chiharu was becoming more adamant about what she was saying. She threw away Saki’s hands and stood up turning away.

Chiharu stared down the thick trunk of a tree feeling uncontrollable frustration channeling through her. She had failed, but it was not even so much about that while it still was. “…in front of me!” Her fist ran into the bark of the tree making a low dull thud as it did not give. “They were there! I could have…”

Saki could tell that she had diverted her feelings focusing back on her failure. She ran over to Chiharu hoping to calm her down again. “Chiharu please… Don’t…” Comfort was not going to solve Chiharu issue this time for her. She snapped back at Saki turning and throwing her leg out to kick her, missing widely.

“NO! You don’t know!” Chiharu turned back away throwing her fist once more against the tree. She wrenched her eyes closed trying not to think of her grandfather in her mind. It was a haunting image in her mind that she could not shake. “They were right there! They killed my…”

“…Chiharu it’s fine…”

“But they killed him! …killed…” The words continued to pound in her head repeatedly. She collapsed to the ground, her hand sliding down the tree as she fell. “Dead… He’s dead…”

Saki was starting to feel at a loss for what she could do. All she could remember was what had happened with Yuki when his parents had passed away. But the way that Yuki handled it was completely different. He isolated himself after his mother and barely seemed to acknowledge when he father did. It only seemed to make angrier. She had been unable to help him any time that she brought it up with him just brushing her away, like Chiharu. ‘…I’m helpless…’

“I…failed him…I couldn’t…do it…”

“…I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted you to do this…” She tried approaching again, but her words hit the wrong nerve in Chiharu making her lash out.

Chiharu pushed back Saki wanting to knock her down while not have the focus or strength for an attack. She had assaulted something that she knew and was pretending to know their life when she had no idea at all what was supposed to happen. “Don’t pretend like you know! You don’t!”

“…Chi-“

“What do you know!? Nothing! You don’t know me!” Chiharu was not going to give her a chance to respond back. This was an insult to her and she could not stand for anyone to attack her in such a manner. She took a wide and wild swing at Saki with her fist lacking any coordination. It was easily caught, but she was forced to look at Saki seeing her eyes that stared back at her unwilling to give up. “You don’t-“

“No…” Saki made her determination clear to Chiharu. The past had happened already and she could not do anything about it anymore. What was in front of her now still could be helped. Saki was not going to let it go so easily. “I don’t know you! But I know that look! I could see it in your eyes! You didn’t want to kill! You couldn’t kill!”

Chiharu’s eyes had widened in surprise not expecting to hear something so piercing with such confidence and certainty. It made her want to back away, but with her hand being held by Saki it was impossible. She was being pressed back and seen through, naked.

“You let it control you, but in the end you were stronger than your desire to kill!”

‘…control me? No… I wanted it! Me! I wasn’t being controlled!’ She shook her head to deny what she was being told. Frightened like a child she pulled at her hand trying desperately to break free so that she did not have to be afraid any longer. However, her mind suddenly flashed back to the hallway in the estate when Yuki confronted her about the same thing with similar words. It made her freeze up hearing it again, so close to the truth as though he had been through it.

He stretched out his arm futilely trying to stop Chiharu. “Chiharu! You shouldn’t kill someone!” Chiharu was getting further away from them, but Yuki was not going to give up on Saki’s fight. He had been down this road and knew how it felt. “I know how you’re feeling! Chiharu stop!” It seemed to hit a nerve with Chiharu as she paused in foot step when Yuki spoke. “The rage and anger inside you is too much to contain. It speaks to you telling you this is right. That you must do it. There’s no other way. If you don’t it won’t be at peace.”

Chiharu turned part way looking back at Yuki. Her were fists tightened at her side and shaking. “Is that all you can do, talk?”

“It’s feels uncontrollable doesn’t it?”

She did not want to hear anymore echoing through her head. ‘…uncontrollable? NO! No! Me! Just me!’ Chiharu snapped her wrist free from Saki though it felt like it was given up rather than won. She started to run away to leave everything behind.

“You did it because you’re the head of the family.” Saki words had a cold tone in them as they stopped Chiharu in her tracks. The comforting tone that she had before had vanished while the determination still remained. “An obligation. Because you want to be an assassin.”

“Yes! I’m head of the family! But it’s not because I’m the head!” Chiharu was forced to turn around again to face Saki as though she was being played like a puppet. “I don’t care about that! I don’t care about being an assassin! They killed my grandfather!”

“That’s quite the contradiction. Which is it? You want to be the head and want to be an assassin, but you don’t want to be. You want to kill for personal reasons, but don’t want to kill. Which is it?”

“I don’t care about any of it! It’s revenge!”

“But you didn’t get revenge you ran away!”

“They’re still dead!”

“But you didn’t get your revenge!”

“Grandfather’s killers are dead! It’s done!”

“No, it’s not. It’s not settled, but you didn’t do it!”

“I don’t care!”

“Yes you do! But you still couldn’t kill them!”

“Because I was afraid!” Chiharu came to a sudden halt when she heard the words. It made her eyes widen in shock not realizing that she had just admitted to her fear. She wanted to take it back, but there was no way anymore. However, now that she had said it her legs lost their strength as though they had been carrying a heavy weight the entire time that had just been lifted leaving nothing left to keep going. Chiharu collapsed to the ground no longer certain what she was feeling or supposed to be feeling.

Saki walked over to her kneeling down at her side with a painful expression. ‘I’m sorry I had to do that to you… but it was the only way…’ She placed her hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her once more, but got no response or action out of her. It seemed like she was a statue completely gone from the reality around her. ‘…I had to force you to confront what you were running away from more than anything…you put up such walls to protect yourself from it…that you wouldn’t allow yourself to accept it…’ Saki let her lay down before she picked her up and began to carry her back to the house. ‘…let’s go back…’

When Saki arrived in, the very early hours of the morning, the clearing from the forest that became the backyard of the house she was greeted by several guards. She assured them that Chiharu was safe, but just tired. Chiharu was carried back by Saki to her room where she quietly tended to her as the remaining men of the estate hovered outside. Tamotsu was the only one that remained inside with his usual loyal determination to protect and serve the family as he only knew how. After she was finished Saki walked over to Tamotsu staring up at him with a look back that said he had the same understanding.

“She wasn’t able to admit the fear to herself, but now that she’s heard it…” Saki turned her head down feeling guilty for the actions that she took that had left Chiharu in a lifeless state. It was her fault even though it seemed that no one was blaming her. Every time she looked around as she was passing through the halls it made it feel like they were silently thinking how wrong she was to have done it.

Tamotsu raised up his hands placing them on Saki’s shoulders giving her a smile that she could not see. “She just needs time to think in peace. It’s been a long night for her and you. She’ll come out of it when she’s ready.”

“…I hope…”

“I know she will,” he said finally meeting eye contact with Saki as she looked up. The certainty in his words and the deep caring understanding look on his face made Saki feel a little better. “Knowing her. When she does she’ll want to challenge you again.”

Saki choked a little at the joke as she could not laugh, but gave him a slight grin. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” She stepped away to return back to her room.

“Thank you…”

The innumerable meanings that were held in the words did not escape Saki. She blinked trying to keep from crying as she walked out of the room. Halfway to her room she started to run for a reason that she could not find, but she would not stop until she reached the destination.

Out of breath and sore, Saki stood bent over in front of the door waiting. She hovered outside unable to move as she panted even heavier than she would have running. Nothing could stop it as it engulfed her trying to numb her body. There was nothing else she could do. She had no choice. The door slid quietly open as she stepped into the darkened room. She walked over to where the blankets were for sleeping. Her head hung down staring at them paused once more.

Tears slowly began to fill up in her eyes as she looked down at the blankets. She collapsed to her knees looking over the blankets seeing Yuki sleeping peacefully unaware of her presence. When she looked at him she could not stop crying. ‘…I’m so sorry…’

Morning came quickly for everyone, ready or not. The aura of the estate had changed from when they arrived. Chiharu still remained unchanged and Tamotsu stuck to her side. Her men took turns standing guard. It left them with an uncaring feeling as though everything was their fault and was leaving without fixing anything. Yet they all knew it was beyond their care now.

Yuki and Haruo were loaded into the car as Saki was dragging behind them. She tried to say something to the men, but nothing came to her. One of the men reached out holding her hands looking down at her with an eased expression. “Thank you for protecting Lady Chiharu…”

Saki tried to respond, but was left unable only feeling worse. The man walked around to the car getting into the drive seat as Saki stood outside the open passenger door. She looked back at the estate once more before stepping into car. It pulled away from the estate disappearing into the city.

Tamotsu stood up from his knelt position next to Lady Chiharu’s side. He stepped out of her room into the back porch that wrapped around the house. No guards went with him as he stepped out into the back courtyard going away from the house. He disappeared into the forest masking his presence. After ten minutes of walked as a slow pace he came to a stop.

“The plan was a success, sir,” said a shadowed figure in the tree out of sight as Tamotsu looked forward not acknowledging the presence.

“Yes… With him out of the way and someone as inexperienced as her in charge. The next stage will proceed much smoothly.”

“I will make preparations, sir.”

“Patience. I’ve waiting a long time. I’m in no rush. I have to steer in the correct course. I will signal you again when the next stage is ready.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tamotsu closed his eyes keeping a stern empty expression. ‘…the time for Lady Chiharu to die is not yet…’

To be continued…