Andromeda

“…Yuki…” Yumi said softly almost in a whisper. He was staring straight at her holding out the bag that she was being asked to take to the back of the store, but she could not move. Her body remained frozen still with her face getting warmer by the second. ‘What do I do? I can’t move! He’s standing in front of me right now!’

Yuki took a step forward developing a confused look on his face for the odd reaction that was occurring in Yumi. He tried to hold out the bag for her again seeing that it was out of reach for her to take, but even being closer did not make a difference. “Yumi?”

‘What should I do?’

‘I want you to stop spending time with Yuki Hayashi, sister.’

‘Yori! Yuki!’ Yumi’s mind suddenly went into a spin hearing the echoing voice of her brother in her mind reminding her of his feelings. It was not an order, but it felt like it to her. She wanted to listen to him, but she did not believe Yuki to be like they said. ‘He’s here now. I can’t avoid him…’

‘Yumi, you should stay away from him. He’ll get you into trouble too just like he does to that new girl Ayumi.’

Her lips began to quiver as she retreated inward further, no longer recognizing those around her. The words were pounding against her mind raising new conflicts that only further paralyzed her. She could not take all of the voices anymore feeling her heart racing faster. ‘No more, please!’

Yuki was starting to become concerned with the way that Yumi acted and stepped closer to her hoping to get her attention. When he saw that she was just stuttering in front of him he reached out his hand grabbing her hand hoping to snap her out. “Yumi? You alright?”

The confused state that she was in was suddenly shattered the moment she felt a new warmth in her hand. She blinked and looked down to see that Yuki was holding her hand staring at her very closely. Her head burned turning bright red and making her mumble words stuttering even worse than before. “Yuki! I—“ However, all of the stress on her body was unable to take pressure and she passed out dropping to the floor out of Yuki’s hand.

“Yumi!”

Chapter 32 – Matter of Self

The time passed quickly for Yumi unconscious with all of her troubles faded away into the void letting her sleep in peace. When she woke up she found herself in a bed with the covers up to her neck. She looked around cautiously not moving with uncertainty to her new location. The room had a strange smell to it like there was no life allowed to persist left in a bleached environment that was almost unnatural. On her left sat Yuki quietly waiting unaware of Yumi’s eyes. ‘Yuki…what’s going on? Where am I? A hospital?’

The blood began to rush into her face again making her feel warm once more as she accepted Yuki being near her. It made her twitch and squirm in the bed alerting Yuki to her waking up. He leaned in to the bed checking her face to see if she was awake or still asleep. “Yumi! You’re awake! That’s a relief!”

“…Yuki…” she said slowly having her throat choking on her words seeing Yuki so close to her.

Yuki pulled back a little from Yumi having become a little at ease that she was awake now. Though, as he continued to watch her the redness in her face was starting to return making him worry. “You feeling alright? You look a little red still.” He lifted up his hand placing in on her forehead and checked it against his own trying to see if she was running a fever. “Hmm…I’m not so good at this, but I guess it’s normal?”

‘Yuki’s…touching me… He’s so close…’ Yumi’s entire face became red as she lost her voice with her eyes starting to spin and spiral. She fell back into the pillow of the bed unable to take the closeness. Unfortunately, Yuki leaned in panicked when he saw her collapse backwards. She could not hear the words that he was shouting in worry, but he started to run for the door. It was an instant, and she did not know why she did it, her hand reached out to him grabbing his wrist before he was out of the room. Her hand was small compared to Yuki, but it met him halting him. “Yuki…”

He looked back down at Yumi finding her to be a little more stable than before with the redness disappeared. The look in her eye told him that he should stay. “You sure?”

“Yeah…I-I’ll be fine.” Yumi gave him a weak smile to try to make him feel a little better. He took his seat once more that he had been using while he was waiting. “What happened?” There was still a lot that she was not certain about, especially the reason she was in a hospital room.

“Oh! You collapsed at the bookstore. When you didn’t wake up we took you to a nearby clinic.”

“I passed out…” She tried to think back to the bookstore, but the events were hazy in her mind. All she could remember was Yuki and everything getting very warm for her.

“Yeah, the doc said something about fainting from stress. He said he couldn’t find anything physically wrong with you.”

“Oh… I see…” Yumi looked around the room taking in the surroundings once more as she sifted through what Yuki told her. If she looked at Yuki for too long she was afraid that she would start to feel weird again like before. She was barely keeping in control knowing how close he was to her and that they were alone (which was certainly not helping matters for her). “…the bookstore! I need to get back to work!” Yumi started to get out of bed, but Yuki stood up putting his hands on her shoulder’s stopping her.

“They gave you the rest of your shift off. They want you to rest.”

“But they’ll be short handed!”

“Momoko said she’d handle your work.”

“But I—“

“If something’s got you stressed out it’s just going to keep affecting, especially in a weakened state.”

“…I…” Yumi was still straining against Yuki’s hands not wanting to give into what he was saying. She thought about her brother suddenly making her stiffen realizing the effects that it was having on her. “Alright…” Yuki had let up on her seeing her resisting come to an end.

“I’ll let the doc know you’re awake.” Yuki stood up walking out of the room disappearing into the hall leaving Yumi alone in the room.

Yumi laid back in the bed leaving the covers slightly folded down when she tried to leave. The ceiling was unwelcoming to her concerns as her mind was given the freedom and peace to begin turning once more on the thoughts that were plaguing her. ‘Yori… What should I do now? Yuki’s here and…’ She turned in the bed not wanting to deal with the questions that were popping up. ‘I just want …’ Yumi closed her eyes trying to get the thoughts closed out from her.

“I’m back, Yumi!” Yuki said entering the room and announcing his return with a bag in hand. When he saw that Yumi looked like she was in pain he dropped the bag and ran over to her side. “What’s wrong, Yumi?!”

“Oh Yuki! I-I…” She froze opening her eyes once more staring back at Yuki. ‘He’s so close…’

“Are you in pain?”

Yumi forced herself to calm back down seeing Yuki. “I’m sorry for worrying you so much. I’ll be fine. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” She pulled herself up from the bed sitting in it so not to get Yuki alarmed too much. Her eyes were quickly drawn over to the bag that Yuki had dropped coming into the room. “Is that my school bag?”

“Huh?” Yuki said confused by the sudden change in conversation. He turned his head over to where she was looking seeing what he had dropped. He walked back over to the entrance of the room and picked up the bag taking it to the end of the bed that Yumi was resting in. The school bag rested a little heavy on the mattress. “Yeah, Momoko gave it to me to give to you. She put your school uniform in it too, so it’s probably a little wrinkled. But I didn’t have much I could do while I carried you.”

She pulled the bag in to her lap while Yuki talked taking out her uniform and realizing that she was still wearing the bookstore’s clothes. However, everything came to a stop for her when she heard the last thing that Yuki said to her. “You carried me?”

“Yeah…traffic was bad and so I didn’t want to wait any longer. Momoko complained saying I shouldn’t have carried you thinking it would cause even worse injuries or whatever, but she’s over reacting.”

‘Yuki carried me…I was…all that time…’ Her mind began to spin again with the thoughts that were floating through her head imagining Yuki running through the streets shouting to people to get out of his way while he was carrying her (over-dramatized recreation). The thoughts of her being carried by Yuki made her face red once more as she tried to keep it under control.

Yuki did not want to dwell on the matter too much longer and turned away. “Well umm…the doc said if you’re feeling better you can leave. But if you want to rest some more—“’

“No! Uh… I mean… I’m feeling better. I don’t want to burden him with me when he’s probably got other patients that need his attention more.”

He turned to look at Yumi not wanting her to be saying such things. “He’s a doctor. You’re just as important as anyone else here. You’re not a burden!”

“…I-I…” Yumi began to stutter not expecting to have Yuki snap at her as he did. She had always known him to be so carefree and cheerful. It was a strange light that she was seeing him now that she was not familiar with, yet comforting to her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

“…No, its fine… You’re right.” Yumi looked through her clothes and school bag. While she could stay in the bed for as long as she wanted she knew that she had to be getting home. She did not want to make her brother worry about her. The time had to be late. She lifted up her uniform close to her and looked back at Yuki not saying a word.

Yuki looked down at Yumi not taking the hint immediately. The slow turning gears finally hit him and he stood up looking a little embarrassed that he was still in the room. “Uh… I’ll just be outside.” He walked a little stiffly through the room making it to the door and closed it behind him.

She smiled to herself seeing a little more of the normal Yuki in that moment. Once she knew that she was alone she lifted herself out of the bed and changed out her clothes. The slacks and shirt lay on the bed next to her school uniform neatly arranged on the bed. It was a little chilly for her, but her thoughts had paused her. As she had went for her school uniform her mind echoed back to school. She placed her hand on her school uniform seeing her friends pounding at her thoughts. ‘Katsumi…Kaede…’ She pulled back her hand holding in close to her chest, but then saw her brother appear to her. ‘…Yori…’ Yumi retreated lowering her hand to her store uniform and an image of Yuki carrying her appeared. ‘…Yuki! I-I-I…’

Yumi jumped back being surrounded back by all of her fears regardless of what she did. She could not escape any of it no matter where she went. There was nothing that would hide her or make her free from her cage. “How can I…” She kept backing away not want go anywhere near it, but knowing that she could not escape it. It was stuck to her even if she was not wearing them.

The hallway held Yuki leaning against it until the door opened. Yumi walked out in her school uniform with her bag on her back and her store uniform folded up in her arms held tightly to her. “I’m ready!” He gave her a nod and pushed off from the wall starting to walk in front of her through the hallway. ‘Is he going to come with me all the way?’

There was a little paperwork for Yumi to fill out as she departed, but since there was nothing wrong with her it was minimal. She thanked the doctor for his help and exited the clinic with Yuki. They walked side-by-side down the sidewalk with little being said between them (awkward silence actually). The void remained until they began to enter the residential neighborhood. “Umm…” Yumi said quietly wishing that she had not even uttered a sound afterwards.

“Is something wrong? If there’s something you’re stressed about I can listen. It might relieve it.” Yuki was feeling a little lost walking next to Yumi the entire time. He had insisted on following along with her to know that she got back safely without an incident, but he barely knew her. It was not like Saki who would talk for him. He was feeling unease, but realized that he was not wondering in his mind or having to control his thoughts for some reason. He almost wished that he had something to focus on. ‘What am I doing?’

“Wha—“ Yumi turned to look at Yuki and then away realizing her mistake. ‘What am I doing? Why did I say anything?’ She could feel the gnawing pain at her heart that was poisoning her body making it difficult to breathe. It continued to rake at her consciousness knowing that she was uncertain. ‘What should I do now?’ The silence dragged out between them creating the void once more until Yumi could not take the weight anymore. “…Yuki…I…”

“Yes?”

“Uh…Have you ever had someone important to you tell you something, but you didn’t want to do it?”

“Huh?” Yuki said looking over at Yumi not quite sure where the question was coming from. He thought about it casually for a moment running out an answer to her. “Yeah, my parents always told me to clean my room and I would get into fights with them over it.” Yuki looked closer at Yumi seeing a disappointed look in her eye making him suddenly realize his mistake. “W-Well I mean… I guess that was of a given huh? Parents are sort of meant to do that.” His voice trailed off and then his eyes widened in shock when he heard a familiar echo in the back of his mind.

‘Yuki…promise me…’

‘…mother…’

Yuki snapped out of his trance remembering Yumi next to him as he tripped in his step. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was a silly question anyway.” Yumi started to walk ahead of Yuki feeling embarrassed that she brought it up in front of Yuki.

“Yes!” Yuki said grabbing out to Yumi making her stop as he held her wrist. She turned her head over her shoulder to him in surprise. “I mean… I have had someone important to me tell me…”

Yumi could see the seriousness in Yuki’s eyes as he was taking her question and answering with a genuine answer that could relate to her. She was not certain what she was seeing from him in that moment, but it felt like she could feel the conflict boiling off of him as he was tormented by the answer he gave her. It felt familiar to her. “What did you do?”

Yuki turned away from a moment trying to push back his memories to where they belonged for him. There were too many things that were clawing at him to be released and this was not the time for him to be recalling them. “I listened to them and did what they asked.”

“I see…”

The tortured conflict in Yumi’s eyes reached to Yuki and he could tell that it was something that she did not want to hear. “You have to decide for yourself though. I made my decision and I’m living with it. However, it was something that I decided and no one else. Even if they tell you do something that goes against your nature, if it is important to you that you don’t want to lose it then you should stand up and fight to keep it. Because in the end, if they are important to you they will understand. You have to follow yourself if you want to be happy. You’ll never be wrong if you do that.”

“…Yuki… I…” Yumi tilted her head down staring at the ground for a moment as she thought through what Yuki told her. Even though she had felt conflict in him, she could also see that he was happy with what he decided. She looked back up at him smiling. “Thank you, Yuki!”

He nodded back to her and they were able to continue on their walk back to her house. She left him at the gate walking the few steps to their door. When she walked in she could see her brother’s shoes already placed against the short drop in the floor. ‘…Yori…’ Yumi left her shoes at the entrance and walked into the house looking for him.

“Welcome home,” Yori said from the kitchen. “Was that Yuki with you?” He kept his focus on the pot in front of him as Yumi entered.

“Yes brother. I’ve decided. You may not trust him, but I do. I’m going to show to you that you can trust him too! I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel.” She closed her eyes lowering her head a little to him as she stood near him.

“Very well. I will respect your decision.” He gently smiled turned away from Yumi watching the food cooking. “Perhaps you will.”

“Thank you!”

Yuki walked back to his house in the darkening sky. His mind was elsewhere as he wondered through the street. ‘…I hope that helped her. But I’ve still got problems of my own that I have to deal with. She made me realize I can’t run from my problems. Saki…’

To be continued…