Andromeda

"The First Machine War, as it is called in the textbooks, was not started by the machines as so many are led to believe. In fact, many of the events are not even yet recorded in the textbooks in spite of the twenty years since the events. It still remains a hazy period in human history that is often forgotten rather than remembered.

"The war officially began when the machines declared war on entire human race, but that was not where it all began. There had been a build up with a small border dispute in Eastern Europe that began it all. The dispute grew into all out war after a double assassination killed both of the political leaders in their respective countries leaving an overly aggressive military in charge.

"The collapse of the two governments dropped the region into anarchy quickly and as history had seen before it quickly drew in the surrounding countries. The two rival nations were armed with weapons supplied by a foreign corporation out of Western Europe specializing in mechanical soldiers. The war was left in a stalemate with both sides having equal forces and power. But the nations' military were not satisfied seeing that they could take over more surrounding territory with their superior strength.

"The greed of man quickly dragged in all of the surrounding nations each seeing the need to meet opposition with equal or superior force. Machines were handed out freely as tools in a growing war until they easily out numbered the living on the battlefield. The numbers grew until across the oceans in America and Asia saw the need to include machines in their military force as well. It was this error in judgment that was the true start of the war.

"Machines had been strategically placed throughout the world, purchased by the countries. They were all machines created by a corporation that did not obey the Laws of Robots. The machines were not built with the Laws hard coded into them and not bound to obey them. They were free of all restraints and when the order was given they were unleashed upon the world bringing a new terror to mankind.

"Machines are tools in a war created by man, one must never forget that it is not the sword or gun that kills but the person holding it…"

Flesh is for Gods – Episode 04 – Hope in Chaos

"Other world leaders will be signing similar legislation declaring war on the machines that are attacking us. We will be leading joint forces to hunt down and remove all machine elements that are conspiring to do harm. We will not stop until the threat has been ended. The machines have been defeated before and they will be this time as well."

Everyone was still staring at the monitor even after the prime minister disappeared off screen before answering the questions of the press. There were other advisors coming up to field the questions, most of which could barely be heard. But at that point it was already over for everyone in the room. They were all looking at each other shell shocked to know that there was another war in their lifetime about to begin.

It was still sinking into Satoru what he had heard, but the others were already beginning to talk between themselves. He did not know what to think about the fact that everything was changing again. The world was going down that path once again and he was going to be taken in this time. It was a war against machines and in his position he would not be avoided like last time. What would he be called to do now that they were going to be fighting?

"I can't believe this is happening," Natsuko said looking around to the others with uncertainty. It seemed like she as gauging everyone else still not sure where she should be stepping with her words. She was always be cautious and looking out for everyone, but it was a minefield. There was not going to be any survivors in this.

Tadashi brazenly stepped forward looking like he was going to take Natsuko down. "Third time's the charm," Tadashi said as though it was supposed to be a joke, but there was a clear callous intent behind the words. Even though he pretended to mask it over with a grin.

"Tadashi! More people are going to die because of this war." Natsuko did not take it too well almost like an insult upon herself. She knew that Tadashi was not going to see eye to eye with her, but it still surprised her the lack of emotion he had for the situation. Natsuko wanted to back away feeling the pressure from simply his stare, but there was no room to move.

As almost seeing the weakness in Natsuko Tadashi stepped forward a little talking down to her further. He was not finished with the debate it was only beginning. "And if we did nothing even more would die."

Natsuko could feel the others at her back their warmth making her uncomfortable. She pulled her hands up close to her chest trying to protect herself from Tadashi and feel like there was something between them. She looked down a little trying not to look at him. "But…there must be another way." Her voice was choking a little feeling the losing ground slipping away.

He took the opportunity to continue on his rant knowing that she was not going to defend her position with any determination. "This is no time for naivety." It was too easy for Tadashi, even though he seemed to be a getting a little twisted pleasure out of it. There was still very little enjoyment out of not having a struggle in the debate. "This is the way it needs to be. It must be ended."

"Yeah, but what is that going to mean for us?" Kazuhiko said stepping up for Natsuko to take some heat off her and changing the direction from the current topic. In spite of Kazuhiko's playful attitude, he was still very practical thinking about what the reality would be if something happened. It made him very observant, even to Satoru's pain at times. "They might increase the AI Act even further. We might not have jobs. Did you think of that?"

Tadashi welcomed the new challenge, but easily saw through it with simple logic. His more pessimistic realism continued to give his words that dark tint as he spoke. "They'll need us still. Even if it is fewer of us. They can't be completely rid of us. We are a necessary evil for them."

"Do you hear what you're saying, Tadashi!" Chiyoko said quickly not even thinking that she was placing herself in front of the firing squad now for taking on Tadashi. He was single handedly debating each one of them their points. Chiyoko could not stand hearing him being negative about their job that she so enjoyed. None of them liked what he said, though some of them understand the painful reality of what he said. There was truth in both Kazuhiko and Tadashi; most of them did not want to admit it at all.

He was starting to feel a little surrounded knowing that they were all going after him. But Tadashi held his ground not willing to explain himself, but assured them that he was not so cold hearted, as they seemed to believe him. "You think I like being used anymore then the rest of you?"

Satoru was still heavy in his own thoughts that he had not been listening to the debate that was occurring. 'I can't believe it. We're at war again.' Even him saying the words did not seem to make it real to him. He was having trouble believing it even though the truth was in front of him. Satoru even knew deep down that this was going to happen, but did not want to admit it to himself. He did not want to think of what would happen in another war like the last two. He was a teenager at the time of the last war and he could still remember the horrors that he saw, most of which were in the city and not in some distance country on the screen.

'This is never going to end if all we are doing is fighting. The public will just praise them. Just like before, they won't look beyond the façade placed in front of them.' He could remember how it went the last time. History was going to repeat itself he knew. And the administration was going to take advantage of the situation. The recent administration had been receiving a lot of critical comments about the way that they handled things too softly. They appeared weak in the eye of the public causing them to lose support, but this would be the perfect political chance to save face and appear strong in the eyes of the public. Satoru hated how they were used so easily.

"What's going to happen then?" Chiyoko said trying to find a point that Tadashi could not easily refute. As she spoke though it continued to sadden her thinking about the possibility of it actually occurring. It was not something any of them wanted to consider. "When they have no more use for us. When all of the machines are destroyed."

"I find that unlikely to ever happen," Tadashi said casually looking away a little. He knew that it had to be considered, but in his mind there was a small chance of that actually happening. And even if it did there would just be someone to start it all over again eventually. "There'll still be machines in hiding somewhere waiting out until they can move again. It's the way they work."

"I don't want to be used for the rest of my life," Chiyoko said nearly shouting at him becoming impassionate about her job. "That's not why I am doing this."

"It's the way the world works," Tadashi said coldly feeling some of his own words on him. "We're all being used." He enjoyed the work he did just as much as the rest of them, but there were real world and the false one. The time that they lived in could not allow someone to live in a false world anymore blindly thinking that everything was going to be safe and alright. "The only chance is that you get to the top and control things. But even then you have to listen to someone higher than you. It's the fact of the field that we are in. The only way out is quitting."

"Quitting? But I-"

"Tadashi!" Satoru said having listened to the last bit of the debate that was happening. He jumped in quickly to stop him before he hurt Chiyoko too much with his words. Though interjecting in to prevent him meant that he was opening himself up to Tadashi as well. "Learn some tact would you. We all already know what you are saying. None of us would be here if we did not enjoy what we do. We do what we do in hopes that what we do will not be used as tools of war or for the wrong reasons. Even you Tadashi as jaded as you are."

Tadashi nearly cracked a smile as though he had been waiting for Satoru to enter the forum. For Tadashi the eternal pessimist Satoru was the optimist and dreamer that always clashed. "That is a fantasy, an old man's dream from years gone by. We don't live in that age anymore. That was our father's vision, not ours anymore." Tadashi felt a little of his strength disappearing knowing that a part of him even believed Satoru in that he wanted what he made to be used for better purposes.

"It doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to stay like that." Satoru knew that he was not going to get anywhere with Tadashi and all he could do was possible get him to give up knowing that he would not back down. However, Satoru knew that Tadashi was stubborn and only backed off when he knew that he was not going to win or it was going to take too long. Both of which was not something that he wanted to do right now with how he was feeling.

"And you're telling me to listen to myself?" Tadashi said nearly laughing out loud at Satoru seeing the naïve lengths that he would go with his impossible dream. "What you want to do is against the law now. There is no way around it."

"It won't always." He could only manage a small response back to him. Satoru was losing the will to continue this debate. All he was going on at this point was his own belief that he had repeated in the past before. He was not about to intellectually debate this endless subject with Tadashi. There were more important things that they needed to be doing with there time at this point. Satoru shifted his weight to his other leg crossing his arms giving Tadashi a narrow stare.

"A dreamer's vision," Tadashi said quickly back to Satoru. He was losing his patience with Satoru and his ideal vision for a world where people could live and accept machines. This was going to continue and Satoru seemed ready to fight him for it rather than give up like he often did. There was also the feeling that he was being surrounded by everyone in the office looking at him like he was the enemy. "Right, I'm not going to get anywhere with you."

Tadashi walked away pushing out of the crowd still around the monitor. Now that the excitement was over everyone else suddenly remembered that they had something that they needed to be doing. Satoru sighed in relief, but saw Chiyoko and Natsuko standing together looking down at the floor. He walked over to them placing his hand on Natsuko's shoulder.

Natsuko looked up at him suddenly broken out of her nearly shattered trance from the debate. He gave her an encouraging smile to try to warm her center back up. She still looked pretty shaken from the ordeal. Satoru wanted to hit Tadashi for doing this, but he did not have the courage do something like that. All he could do now was try to make them feel a little better and not have them dwell on the matter. They all knew that Tadashi could be insensitive not thinking about how his words could hurt others, but knowing that did not guard them.

The day finally moved on with everyone settling down into their seats and starting work. It moved along uneasily as though time itself was cautious of them to start something up again. However, nothing happened and the day came to an end. Satoru was able to leave with little more than a headache that developed slowly over the day from the silent stress. His mind was constantly thinking about the war that was beginning and what had happened to him. The explosions and memories were not far behind him.

The next two weeks passed carefully for everyone. The government was pushing its war campaign on the public. They were quickly behind it in strong support. Many of the men were going off to war either enlisting on their own or being called up from reserves. It was being herald as a courageous and momentous time in history when the machines would finally be destroyed. The approval ratings were shooting through the roof for them and some of the even more greed members were making speeches about getting the Anti-AI Act increased even more. It made Satoru ill seeing that everything was spiraling out of control, as he knew it would.

During the time he was not free from the thoughts about Asami as much as he hoped that it would fade away into the background. Even with everything that was happening around him it was the only thing that gave him a little hope that there could be something good to look forward to in the future. But every time he thought about her it consumed him making him not want to think about her more knowing the distraction that it caused.

However, now that it was two week later another progress report required of them and that was exactly why Kiyoshi entered the office on Monday morning. Satoru had a pretty good idea that was the reason for his appearance, but even still he had hoped that there was another reason, whatever that could possibly be. "Its that time again, I need someone to make the progress report to the military. I know how much you hate doing Satoru, so if you want to send someone else."

Satoru's shoulders fell a little in the confirmation that it was in fact that time again as Kiyoshi said. It was a little surprising to him that he was giving him an out for it though. He had had lunch with him a couple times talking about the last meeting, but even still Kiyoshi should not have been letting their friendship get in the way of what should be done. Unfortunately, Asami suddenly came to his mind immediately closing down any thought he had of accepting the open invitation not to go to the meeting. "No, that's fine," he said with reluctance though it was hard to determine if he was faking it or not. There was an eagerness in his heart that was making him feel strangely again. "I'll take care of it."

"Alright then, its tomorrow at 10am," Kiyoshi said shrugging a little not completely sure why Satoru had turned down the offer. However, he was not going to draw it out into an argument over a simple matter. If Satoru was willing to take the abuse then that was his call.

"Alright," Satoru said nodding with a small grin suddenly appearing across his mouth as Kiyoshi left the office. He was feeling warm and excited for no reason even though he knew that it was another meeting with the Lt. Colonel and he should be dreading it not looking forward to it. The confusion was transparent to him knowing that he was going to be able to see Asami again. The simple thought of her name conjured up images of her, this time their last meeting, a more pleasant memory.

Satoru turned around trying to clear himself up only to find that several of his co-workers had gathered around him, again. This time they were looking at him confused. One of them opened the floor with the question that was all of their minds. "You were complaining about it for a week the last time, boss. Why you doing it willingly now?"

There was the same question going through him, but he knew that he could not tell them what the real reason was for him. "No reason to put you through the trouble. Its part of my duties, just something I've got to learn to live with." It was hardly the truth, but it was as close as he was willing to get to around them. If they knew what it really was they would torment him endlessly as they did in the past. He was not going to willingly walk into that accident.

"You're being surprisingly understanding about it," Chiyoko said pushing him for a better answer than the one that he gave. Her usual kind and supportive manner was not present, but in a strange way it was still there. The fact that she did not seem to buy the reason made Satoru start to sweat a little. These were all smart people that he was with; it would not take much for them to piece together, even something closer to the truth.

That moment was sooner than Satoru hoped with Kazuhiko popping up between Chiyoko and Natsuko. "Yeah, he's probably running off to see his assistant again." The bluntness of his words was enough to make the two women divide in disgust. However, it was not enough to be the end for Satoru. Now that Kazuhiko more hormonal thinking was let loose in the room there was no stopping it now as everyone else came to the equally more rational conclusion.

Even if they were headed down the correct path Satoru was not about to give up the fight just yet to them. "Its nothing like that." He was always playing denial with them as though it was a mirror of the turmoil inside him about what he was doing. They saw pleasure in his troubles it seemed and he was going to continue to deny as long as he could. "It's something that I have to do. Its part of my duties."

"I can see it in your eyes," Kazuhiko said with a wide grin on his face. "You can't hide it." His expression showed that he believed he knew that he was right. There was no doubt in his mind and he was going to play it out as much as he could. Kazuhiko patted Satoru on the back knocking him around a little showing his pride in his boss of going after the woman.

"Satoru? Is that why you're going?" Natsuko said stepping up cautiously to him. She had the look of uncertainty still not sure if Kazuhiko was tell the truth. There was the part of her that did not want to believe that he was right given his perverted thoughts that came out so often. Natsuko moved closer to Satoru holding her hands together hoping that was not the reason Satoru was taking the meeting.

Seeing the worried and confused face of Natsuko made him feel guilty about what he was doing. He was using the meeting as an excuse to see Asami again because he had not the courage to do it on his own time. Also, he never asked her for her number the last time so he could not call her. Though it would have felt a little odd for him to be asking for her number after a first date that was not really a date at all. "No, of course not. Its business, nothing more." He shook his head trying to emphasis that Kazuhiko was mistaken.

Kazuhiko continued to hold Satoru close to him speaking not so loudly, but clear enough that Satoru would not be the only one to hear. "But you haven't seen her in two weeks, I bet you're getting lonely in your bed." There was a disturbing grin across his face as he looked at Satoru.

Chiyoko pulled Kazuhiko out of Satoru's proximity and pushed him away. She pressed against him with a stare and her finger in his face. It was unclear if she was going to hit him or just instill fear. "That's disgusting, Kazuhiko."

"Hey, just saying what he's thinking," Kazuhiko said trying to back away and push off his words as being Satoru. There was no one that believed it though and most of the stares were not even disappointment, but typical expectations that were unsurprised though bothered.

Satoru tried to defend himself from Kazuhiko as well as the uncertain looks that he was getting. They were pretty sure that he had honorable intentions, but there was the small part that knew he was a man like Kazuhiko. "I am not!" He turned away from them and sat down in his chair staring away at the air that filled the space between him and his desk. Once he began to space out the group quickly lost interest in Satoru and returned to work. He did not even notice that they had disappeared. 'I wish Kazuhiko wasn't always so right…I mean he isn't, but he is…agh! What am I going to do?'

The day pushed on with Satoru twisting himself around over what he was doing. He could still remember how much he enjoyed the day with Asami and wanted to have that feeling again. But he was taking advantage of the situation to improve his social life. It felt wrong to him that he was allowing his work to help him find someone. There was the part of him that did not want to listen to any of it as well and was telling him that it did not matter where he met someone. In the end there was no right answer that he could reach and the day was over.

Satoru was standing outside of the room with the number 4803 staring back at him with a questioning look as though it was wanted to kick him down the hallway and pull him in just as well. He wiped his palms on the back of his pants and turned the knob trying to clear everything out of his mind but business. However, once he saw her it all flew out the window scattering to pieces. There was no hope and he knew it. All he allowed himself was an awkward, but simple greeting to Asami. She smiled back at him with a well-disguised face that left him thinking even more to himself. 'Is she pleased to see me? I can't tell with that look. What should I do? Should I say something to her? I should…no I can't…'

While Satoru tortured himself further time did not wait for him to finish internally bruising himself. Asami looked up from her desk after receiving a notice. She spoke plainly to Satoru, but it was her voice that snapped him out. It did not even have be anything special, as the sound was enough of a trigger for him. "The Lt. Colonel will see you."

"Alright…" It took him a few seconds to process it. He was a little disappointed hoping that she was going to say something else, but it meant that he could get on with the meeting. The meeting would hopefully get his mind off of her and bring some focus to him. There was great doubt in his mind that was actually going to happen for him. However, he did not waste any time to stand up and entered the office. He was not about to get the Lieutenant Colonel angry with him for making him wait an extra thirty seconds because of his emotional problems.

"You better have good news, you have less than a month to get your project finished," the Lt. Colonel said as Satoru walked into the office. Satoru did not even have the chance to sit down let alone find the seat. This sort of berating felt a little more familiar to him from the last meeting that he had, but he did not enjoy it anymore.

"Yes, sir," Satoru said promptly feeling like the 'sir' was a little annoying at this point. He did not want to be so politely addressing someone that was more likely to insult him. It made him wonder how soldiers managed to say the same thing repeatedly. The meaning would have been lost being endlessly repeated. Even now there was no meaning behind it, it was just an empty formality that he forced himself to use.

The debate did not last long in his head as the meeting pushed on as the Lt. Colonel was not waiting for Satoru. He was not sure if he was trying to rush it or was simply angry, but regardless Satoru was countless battered by insults and backhanded compliments. If he was not already sore from his own conflictions he was now. The project was actually on schedule in spite of the distractions that were occurring in the office with the current events. But that was not enough for the Lt. Colonel. The man wanted immediate results suddenly and reminding him constantly about the money that they placing on them and that the parts had already been shipped over. All of this Satoru knew. If it was in his power he would have slowed down the project, but they were only two weeks away from trials and knew that Sakura would no longer be the cute, adorable name that it seemed.

After a very long hour worth of assaults Satoru was released from the Lt. Colonel infernal grips and allowed to leave the room. He walked out feeling mentally sore from it as though he should be stumbling out. It was a strange confliction with his body as it was moving normally, like being numb but with the feelings reversed. That feeling suddenly multiplied when he saw her again at the desk working quietly. Satoru did not want to interrupt her and bother her with his selfish ideas. He made his way to the door placing his hand on the knob.

His mind bounced back and forth as his hands slowly turned the knob. The door came open softly weighing a thousand pounds making his hands struggle in weakness. Everything continued to fight against the other. One thought being cut down by the other without so much as a chance to explain itself. His numbness continued to increase until the door could not even budge for him. Then he found that his legs were moving on their own turning him around. Satoru was facing Asami staring at her working at her computer. "Uh, Asami?"

Asami looked up quickly to Satoru the expression her face cracking from the impenetrable wall that she had presented before. "Y-yes?" The hesitation in her voice made Satoru feel a little better knowing that there was something she was feeling as well. He was already embarrassed from speaking that he did not want to be wrong, he hoped that he was not wrong.

"You doing anything after you're finished with work?"

The week continued on and Satoru found himself seeing Asami everyday after work. It had started as only a simple cup of tea after work, but carried on. He was not sure what to think anymore about what was happening. Asami was continuing to show each day and seemed to be enjoying herself as much as he was. Satoru hoped that everything was going well; it had been so long since he had this feeling. There was so much uncertainty in every step that he made. It made him feel like he was in high school all over again asking out a girl for the first time. Each moment felt like the first time and not something that he had done before. It was a strange and exhilarating experience that made him not want the day to end each time he said good night to her. The feelings he was getting were so strong and they had not even kissed once yet. He did not know what to think about anything anymore. There was happiness in his heart again making him feel so warm with so much emptiness that had been surrounding him.

Satoru was sitting down outside again for lunch, but this time with Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi was his best friend for longer than he could remember. He had felt like he had been neglecting him leaving him out of the loop with everything that had been happening to him. There were so many changes occurring in his life that he could not find the brakes any longer. Having lunch with him now felt like the only slow time for him. It was a time that he could simply relax and be at ease rather than tense about the next moment.

"So Sakura is coming along. The activation trials will be next week," Kiyoshi said as he poked at his food to find a small enough bite. They were getting the business out of the way now as it was being called a 'business meeting' even though everyone knew that it was not really. It was simply a way to push the conversation along.

Satoru was still feeling regret about the project, but he knew that it was never going to change. It was not the project that he wanted everyone knew that. Even Kiyoshi understood that. All Satoru was doing was following orders from above. He still did not have the seniority or position in the company to create his own project or have a great affect on what he wanted to be working on next. Though it did not help that there were few projects that he could be working on these days. "Yes, she'll be ready soon…"

"I know this has been troubling you for a while." Kiyoshi took a bite of food in drawing out what he was going to say. He allowed Satoru the time to begin thinking over what he was approaching. Kiyoshi knew that Satoru was smart enough to know where he was heading without needing to immediately finish what he started. However, he also knew that Satoru was devoted to his work no matter how much he despised it. "Did you want someone else to handle the activation?"

"No, I'll do it," Satoru said quickly. He had considered the question a number of times and Kiyoshi had brought it up with him before in the past. He was glad to know that Kiyoshi was looking out for him, but this was something that he was going to have to do. It was painful for him to bare witness to the awakening of Sakura, but he had an obligation as one of her creators to be there when it happened. "I've done everything else. I should be the one that awakens her to this world."

"How are you holding up?"

"Huh?" Satoru had been poking at his food even longer than Kiyoshi was making it clear that he was not seeking a small piece to eat. He was strolling through his food delaying something that was on his mind. Kiyoshi could read him too easily and Satoru knew that he was not going to be able to hide much from him. Even his co-workers were able to get it out of him. 'I must be so transparent…'

"The bombings and the machines, the military," Kiyoshi said taking another pause while he ate another bite. He did not want wait too long though seeing the look on Satoru. "I heard that you were having nightmares." Kiyoshi may not have been in the office where Satoru was like he used to be in the past, but he still had ears. It had been concerning what was recently happening with Satoru.

Satoru looked down at his plate rather than staring out at the street like he had been before. When he saw that his hand was poking around the food constantly he stopped realizing the apparent signs that he was giving off. But he continued to stare down thinking about what Kiyoshi said. 'He knows me well and even out of the room he knows.' He looked back up at Kiyoshi feeling partially ready to talk to him again. "Oh…yeah, its not easy all the time. Some nights are harder than others. But I'm still here." Satoru faded away at the end as his eyes looked off down the street again.

"I know you can get through this. You're strong, but if you need anything. Don't hesitate to ask me."

"Thanks, Kiyoshi."

"What are friends for?"

His thoughts were heavy on him still not having spoken to Kiyoshi in a while. There had not been any time for him to get another opinion. 'I don't know, should I ask him? I haven't had anyone serious to talk to it about…' Until now he had been bruising himself over the issue hoping that he was doing the right thing. "Hey, Kiyoshi…"

"Hmm?" Kiyoshi shifted around his plate to make room for the bowl. "What is it? Something on your mind?" He had been waiting for Satoru to make a move rather than force it himself.

"Uh, never mind its nothing." He was doing the right thing; he knew that he had to be doing the right thing. There should not be a debate with him anymore. The doubt was gone. No, that was not true anymore than snow falling in the desert. He could not convince himself as much as he wanted to that there was nothing wrong. There were too many things wrong that he could not contain them all inside.

"That's not what your face says, come on you can tell me. What's troubling you?"

"I-I…I don't know…" Satoru finally ate some of his food, but it was a stalling tactic more than anything now. He did want to eat, but his stomach and the stress in his body were making it difficult to enjoy the meal. This was supposed to be a time for him to relax.

"Come on, we've been friends for so long. College, high school…we always tell each other," Kiyoshi said trying to ease the mood a little for Satoru. He did not have to know him for years to see that there was something eating at him and painfully so. The one thing that Satoru did well was internalizing pain whenever it was severe. He had watched him beat himself up countless over the years when something important happened. It seemed to go contrary to the very rational mind that he had most of the time.

"I guess…I-I meet someone…" It was out of the bag now; he could no longer deny it. Kiyoshi had a right to know more so than anyone else.

"Oh, I thought it was just idle gossip." Kiyoshi knew better than that, but did not want to play too forcibly with Satoru from the start. He wanted Satoru to ease it out on his terms. However, just watching Satoru becoming nervous and moving around so much make clear to him that he was not completely ready for this. 'It much be really eating him up on the inside. I've never seen him like this over a woman.'

"Well, everyone seems to be taking too much interest in it. So its not easy to talk about."

"So what's the problem?" Kiyoshi said softly trying not to pushing him too hard. He was walking a thin line, but he knew that he needed to open Satoru up so that he could reach the calm that he so desperately needed. "Its not the first time you were with someone. Though you've been out of the arena for a while." While in light spirits he was not sure how well it was going to hit Satoru. He was hoping to simply soften things up for him.

"Yeah, well I've been distracted," Satoru said pausing leaving Kiyoshi to wonder if he had approached incorrectly. But Satoru continued after eating finally starting to open up a little. "But I don't know there is something different about her. I can't stop thinking about her. I don't think I've felt this way before. Even when I first saw her its like I could not help but find her again."

"Sounds like the real thing, congratulations." The stress was visibly starting to melt away from Satoru making Kiyoshi feel better. He could see that Satoru was starting to become at ease and was ready to speak. Kiyoshi tried to remain quiet and let Satoru lead the conversation.

"She saved my life. I feel like I'm mixing things up. I don't know what I should be thinking most of the time. I feel like I should leave and stop that it is wrong that I'm going around with false motives. But then I'm not even sure if they are really false, but that I'm just lying to myself. I'm so confused."

"Love is funny that way. It doesn't matter though you should go for it. You should see it to the end, wherever that is."

"You think so?" Satoru stared a little confused at Kiyoshi seeing the certainty in his face and hearing it in his voice. It did not make very much sense to him how Kiyoshi could make it so crystal clear and seem simple. He had been dwelling over the matter for nearly a month and spending time with Asami even when he did not know if he was doing the right thing. Yet Kiyoshi could just know from listening and make it seem like it was the right answer. There was warm comfort in that decisiveness that made him feel a little better.

"I know so. Everyone deserves to have love and with all the stress in your life you need something good. Don't let it get away and don't doubt yourself. Deep down you know what you should do without asking. Its been guiding all this time, you just don't realize it yet."

"Yeah, I guess so. Thanks."

"I'm glad to help," Kiyoshi said putting the last bit of food in his mouth. Satoru was not completely convinced from his speech, but it did put him in a better mood. Kiyoshi had made it seem so easy and that there was nothing more needed to be thought about. It was such a simple manner, but Satoru could not accept that it was simple. There were complications with it. He could not let it be just like that, he wanted it, but it was not going to be willed so. He hoped that Kiyoshi was right.

"The sun is starting to set," Asami said to Satoru standing next to her. They were walking through the park on the way to the train station. Each time after work they would pass through taking the time slowing talking about whatever came to mind. Satoru usually did not speak about his work and Asami did not say much about her's as well knowing how it reminded Satoru. But they always managed to find something to talk about. They had not been at a lack of words like their first time. There were awkward moments at the end when they went their separate ways not knowing when to end the evening. They would sometimes just stand around talking for an hour more laughing and smiling at each other not wanting it to end.

"Yeah…" Unfortunately, this time was different for Satoru. The park was coming to an end and they would be reaching the time where they would take different paths. He did not want to wait until then, but it was still holding him back. 'What should I do?' Satoru had been nervous most of the evening with Asami even though he did his best to cover it up for her sake. She had mentioned it to him a couple times, but he reassured her.

"Its strange how it looks like the buildings are trying to cover it up." Asami had stopped at a large circle in the park where there were benches lined around the perimeter. The path continued through, but the trees parted enough to give a view of the sky above them with a fine sight of the skyline. She stared off at the distance, as Satoru remained distracted pretending as though he was looking with her.

"Yeah, it does…" His voice came out slow nearly broken as his thoughts over came what he was saying. It was not even clear if he knew what she was really talking about with his automatic response. 'Can I let it continue? I want it to.' Satoru tightened his hand into a fist wanted to hit himself to force something to happen.

He suddenly heard Kiyoshi's voice repeating to him through is mind interrupting his thoughts as though to bring him to a resolution. 'Everyone deserves to have love…' The voice rang through is mind over again needing reinforcement.

'I know, I want to feel that again, but still.' Even knowing what Kiyoshi said and feeling as though it was honest truth made him still hesitate. 'Do I really deserve this right now?'

'Don't let it get away and don't doubt yourself…' Kiyoshi pushed him again that reassuring smile that he had made Satoru want to believe.

Satoru wanted to believe, but the wall that stood before him was not scalable. There was no way around the behemoth before him. 'Its not that easy…there is so much…and I don't want to go through that pain again.'

'Deep down you know what you should do without asking…'

'Deep down, huh? I keep asking myself, but there is no answer.' Satoru turned away not wanting to look at Kiyoshi to show him his hesitation. He did not want to even look at himself right now. All he wanted was to watch Asami, but he could not still. How could he if he did not want to look inside anymore?

'Its been guiding you all this time, you just don't realize it yet,' Kiyoshi said reaching out with a hand to lift Satoru up from the ground.

'Guiding me?' Satoru looked up seeing the sky that Asami was looking at for the first time. They were looking together even with the space between them. 'Every time that I didn't want to, but I still did anyway. Even though it went against everything that I thought. It was guiding me…right. I can do this.' Satoru could feel that warmth he had felt before from Kiyoshi encouraging words fill him up once again. His arms were finally relaxed of the shaking that had held them trapped for the entire walk.

"This is end of the path…" Asami said turning to Satoru when they reached the archway of the park. They would depart company from here, but it was going end differently this time.

"Yeah, it is isn't." Satoru knew it was going to be different. He could feel it inside.

"Well, I enjoyed the walk, today. Thanks for the ice cream."

They walked through the archway on to the sidewalk facing each other staring into the other's eyes. Satoru was feeling dragged in by the beauty of her eyes. It was making him lose track of what he was going to do. The reminder from Kiyoshi pulled him back in time before he was completely lost. "Asami…"

"What is it, Satoru?" she said looking at him a little confused. There was a hint of worry across her forehead feeling that there was something wrong from what she had been seeing today. She hoped that it was nothing, but she feared what it might be if there was something.

Satoru clinched his hand together knocking against his hip to get himself focused. "Have you enjoyed this past week?" It was not quite what he was going for, but it was at least a start. He could not believe how much trouble he was having for being in his late twenties. This should have been so simple like Kiyoshi said.

'A-ah…I…need to say something…' Asami backed away a step tried to put a little distance between them. It was worse than she fear. A question that she knew was going to happen eventually and she did not know how to answer it. All she could do was stall. "Is something wrong?"

"I was just asking. I wanted to know how you felt." Satoru's legs began to shake again knowing that he was pushing the issue and afraid of what was going to happen. It felt like time was slowing down to a crawl making him sweat out of its own pleasure for his misery. He could barely feel the wind plowing through as every muscle in his body tensed up.

"W-well, yeah I've had fun." She winced at her words knowing that it was not what to say at the moment. Asami did not know what she should have said. She could see it in Satoru eyes and the pain in her heart. The only thought she had now was to flee so she did not have to see him crumble.

"Fun?" Satoru's heart sank at the stabbing words that broke his core. It was not the answer that he was hoping for as though he was a friend. A friend was good, of course, but not what he was looking for from her. He could not speak. His lips had gone numb frozen in shock.

"Is that wrong?" Asami said to him knowing clearly what was wrong, but trying to play it off innocently. She wanted to throw herself across the park for what she was doing to him right now. She wanted to destroy every mirror so that she did not have been disgusted with her face. 'I'm horrible, terrible…how can I do this…I-I…I…please…Satoru…oh please…'

"N-no…no," Satoru said trying to recover having finally found his voice. She still looked so sweet almost clueless only make it feel worse to him. It seemed that she did not even have an idea. They were on two different paths. "Just…I-I…I wanted to say the same. I've enjoyed the time that I have spent with you this last week. I haven't been happier in so long. Thank you."

Asami could feel her façade cracking just watching him. She wanted to cry, but knew that it would only cause more trouble. "I-I…I-I…I-I don't know what to say…" Her voice was leaving her choked up for reasons that she did not need explained. It was shattering before her and she could not stay.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Satoru said trying to approach her as she backed away. Her face was changing as though she was coming to realization to what he was meaning. He could see it slowly destroying her piece by piece. This was not what he wanted for her. He only wanted that for him, it should not have been shared with her as well. The pain stabbed him in the heart deeply.

"N-no…just…I-I…I don't know…" Asami backed away more not wanting to let Satoru come closer knowing that she would not be able to leave if he did. She could not resist, but could not let it happen. 'This is too hard…I can't do this…I can't, I just can't…run away…don't look back.'

"Asami? I-I…"

"I can't do this…I'm sorry, Satoru. Please, just let me go…" she said shouting to him with tears falling down her cheeks and turned on her feet to run away. Asami took off down the sidewalk around the corner of the street quickly looking for the fastest way to get away rather than going home.

"Asami!" Satoru chased after her seeing the tears of regret and believing that there was something that he was missing. He did not want to have it end like this. There were more questions now and she was running out of his life. He did not want to let her go, not now when he was finally feeling vulnerable again. Satoru looked around the street, but she was gone disappeared in the crowd. He continued to look around for her feeling despair working its way into his heart that he had destroyed the only good thing that he had in his life.

'I'm sorry, Satoru, I can't. I just can't. Please, I can't…just let me go. It'll be easier…'

"Asami!"

To be continued…