Setzer

After an extended period not being here, and having my old name and posts deleted I'm back....I don't know why but I am. There's a lot I guess I could spew on about.

So I used to be on here all the time way back when. I went from an awkward teen with no social skills or social life to working full time after my home life got a little screwy. Then I went to that cool dissolutioned early 20's phase...now I'm almost 26 and just a dude. I'm not sure what else to say.

I remember my first post on my old journal was the size of Texas. I'd say I'm embarrassed to think about it but I don't mind. I needed somewhere to spew my thoughts and it worked just fine. I think that's why I came back to be honest. Partially nostalgia. Partially because I was thinking of how I used to feel better after writing all my stuff down, be it 2 sentences or 2 pages. And this being my old stomping ground it feels familiar, even though it really isn't at this point. I'm sure I know none of you or almost. Nevertheless what's up!

Well being in my mid 20's is weird. As a kid you want to be an adult and when you finally get there you want to be a kid again. I finally understand. I don't think it's so much the being young part, it's that people miss the days of gelling with people so easily. It's ****ing hard as an adult. If you're not sizing someone up you're probably thinking about how they suck cause of something they said earlier. As a kid I was too simple to see that far. Bleh. I did have lots of fun in my time, just wish I had more. Not like the get drunk and **** people type of fun. I mean hanging with your friends and doing stupid shit like staying up way too late and playing a game for the 5 millionth time to stupid music cause you guys love that stuff. That was my sense of "Home" if you will.

Now I'm kind of at the stage where I'm finding what I want in life, where I want to be. I've got rough ideas but no fixed point. I want to do something with music, and want to do stuff like have a youtube channel to help supplement it, since I play games and all that it's a no brainer. Except I have no technical ability with software so that's been my new ally to get into. That and reading. Lots of reading, books though, and helpful ones. None of this fiction stuff. How to build a business and that sort of stuff. I've realized after working a shitty retail job that I think the only way I won't be dead by 40 is if I'm my own boss. I want to blame the industry I was in and hated except people are people wherever you go.

Writing this makes me think of how I used to go on about such emotional stuff. I wonder sometimes how I've changed from just naturally getting older and the brain changing as it does. And how life happening alters your perception of everything. It's weird.

Anyways I'm clocking out.