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Small Girl, Big Life

Where'd You Go?

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My roommate/ our best friend died on Friday.

I'm the one who found him and I'm beyond heartbroken and traumatized.

I don't understand. I should've checked on that stupid son of a bitch sooner. Maybe I could've saved him.

I don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself or shake off the guilt. I can't eat, I've hardly slept, I can't stop crying and it's getting worse since the shock's worn off.

He drove me up the Goddamn wall with his bitching over dumb shit and minor stupidity, but I loved him all the same. He was basically my fiance's brother, so he was mine too.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I just don't know how I'm supposed to handle this. And now I have so many more things I have to think and worry about and I'm just not prepared for any of it. I can't handle this.

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  1. Taco-Calamitous's Avatar
    I don't think you can do anything right now but mourn for your loss. Feel your feelings, don't try to suppress them, and talk to people in your life about it. Talking about it will help process the emotions. Posting messages like this helps with that, too.

    A death of a loved one takes time to get better from, from my understanding. People will know what you're going thru, and will understand that you're not okay right now, and may not be for a time.

    Also, *internet hugs*