Small Girl, Big Life

So The Ex is completely incessant when it comes to wanting to see me.

And then, 'cuz I was slightly intoxicated (shut up), I called him.

And then The Past came back up and he was all "Soooooo remember that time when you hooked up with my friend Emilio?" And I'm like "Soooo remember that time when you stabbed me with the fork? What the hell is your point?"

And then I explained to him that he & Emilio aren't even -friends-. They just know each other. 'Cuz like my ex knows every other Mexican in the Nashville area.. Or they all know each other in general. Whatever. I also reminded him that he & I were not together and I was completely trashed when it happened. Homegirl don't do games and tests and quizzes. This ain't high school and we're not 20 anymore. And then he went on to ask me if that was the only time and I was like "Are you stupid? Of course not." and he was all "... What? What the hell? All in one night or different times?"

... And then I re-thought my answer and was like "..... Nope! Just one night!"
And then he was all "You know he's married, right? What were you thinking? You wanted to date him too?" ... No, I had no idea he was married, he told me he wasn't & never wore a ring, and no I never actually wanted to date him.

But anywho. It just went back and forth like it always does when I talk to him and once again, he tried to say that stabbing me had been an accident and then admitted that he'd been drinking before he got home. And I was like "You've gotta be joking me. You don't -accidentally- stab someone in the foot when their foot is 2 feet away from you. That's like me saying punching you was an accident. Shit happens, but that was no accident. At least grow up and admit it."

Annnnnd then it all went back to how he wants to see me and asked me if I'd hook up with him and I just told him probably not 'cuz I'm not that kind of person and I'm not gonna put myself in the position to get hurt again. And I reminded him that he doesn't even -want- to be in a relationship and he hates me and thinks I'm ugly. Or whatever it is he used to say to me. And he was just like "You never know, things could change." And I told him to shut up with that bullshit 'cuz I'm not gonna wait around again for him to decide what he wants. And even if that -were- what he wants, IDK that I could trust him to not pull the same shit again and I'm with someone else that's entirely different. He would have to do -a lot- to make me even wanna think about anything like that.

IDK. I hate being in this situation. I know I know.. I could always just ignore him and let it go, but it's hard.

I'm never getting married. Eff that mess.