Small Girl, Big Life

We got to Texas last night.

I can't stand seeing my dad like this.

I drunk dialed him at like 1 a.m. and we talked for over an hour, and he didn't really cry at all...

Then we got here and he's so heartbroken and lost.. I'm so worried... He's been with my mom every day for 20 years straight. 43 years together total. But after she got in the truck with him, they were always together. My dad couldn't handle my mom being gone for more than a few hours.

He says he can't live without my mom.. And I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. I don't know if I need to just move in permanently and put everything else on hold or stay with him for a month and then go to New York to be with my boyfriend. I'm the only one that -has- this option. My sister is busy with her life and my brother isn't in any place to do that. He's a truck driver as well and has his wife and all that.

But, my big brother -is- here. And I forgot how much fun we had hanging out before. I relate so much better to him. We're gonna go and hang out with my best friend for awhile so...