Small Girl, Big Life

OMG. Like everyone is stressing me out. Alluva suddenly, I've got 99 problems -&- a Bitch.

Jay comes home tomorrow - at what time, I have -no- effing clue, Cam is packing for deployment and he's irritated with the whole process, and now his wife is wanting to fly down from NYC tomorrow, but won't do shit to look for flights (& is making Cam do it all). On top of the 3 of us have to sit down and talk about what Cam is gonna do with his stuff (read: his car) and figure all of -that- out.

Cherie won't STFU about Hunter. She wanted her GPS locator hidden and her text messages to be untraceable .... Because she thinks Hunter will stalk her and she's told him she left Texas already. THEN she's upset 'cuz Hunter isn't texting her and IDK, I don't give a flying **** about that shit. I told her ass 6 months ago LEAVE HIM ALONE.

Does she listen!? NO. Of course not.

So on top of -her- shit, and worrying about Cam and getting Jay home and worrying about him and all of -that-, I've got about 6 hrs worth of cleaning to do tomorrow because Cam's wife is flying in -and- my sister wants to come over with my kiddo on Saturday.

My brain is completely fried at this point. I need to get dinner prepped for tomorrow night (tacos al pastor - have to marinate the pork), there's a shit ton of clothes that need folding 'cuz Jay wouldn't help me do it before he left, the bathroom needs to be bleached, our bedroom straightened up, I want to clean out Jay's car tomorrow before he gets home & I have to pick him up.

And on top of that, we have to get Jay's school shit figured out - where's he's going to enroll, get his application in, get the tuition and all that figured out, etc. That has to get done like -this- weekend because he's, again, going to be gone for days at a time for the next several weeks.

Like, I know that a couple of people hinted/said/think that I have a substance abuse problem, and I really don't, but this is a night where I really -do- need to take a Klonopin and just crash out for a few hours. It's so irritating. Like seriously, the anxiety.. My hands are literally shaking. I've smoked almost an entire pack of cigarettes & I -hate- cigarettes. I hate the smell, everything.

This is so hard right now. If it were little by little, fine, but of course, in my life, that's not how it works. Everything just decides to pile up all at once.

I wish I had a fat blunt right now so that I could just get stoned, laugh about dumb shit, and pass out - without having to take anxiety medicine and be able to forget about Life for 5 seconds.