Small Girl, Big Life

Jay's gone 'till Wednesday. Sad Face. Then again, I'm kind of glad for the space. Get myself together a bit.

Francisco brought my stuff back, but there are things I'm missing that need to be returned and now he isn't responding. At All. My favorite dress, my bed sheets, my daughter's car seat, a few pairs of shoes I believe. I'm beyond livid that he won't even acknowledge me now. He thinks I'm playing around when I say I'll send the cops to his work. And if it boils down to that, then I have no control over what Jay will do. Even Cam (the roommate) was like "That short f*ck was your ex!? Jesus christ. If I'd known -that- I would've said something." (he'd just gotten off work)..

... Cuz Francisco and I -are- the same height. He's just kinda bow-legged. haha.

Anywho... I'm bored. and Lonely. This would probably be a good time to start Insanity and attempt to find a job. lol

But.. There's something that kind of bothers me.. And it's not anything out of jealousy or spite.. It's just a curiosity.. My Friend (who I've made a thread about).. She isn't the prettiest girl. Like at all. It wouldn't be anything at all, but she always acts so conceited - like she's the prettiest person ever. And while I know -I- can be loud and obnoxious (a lot), she's pushy and needy -and- those other 2 things. Yet for some reason, guys dig that shit. And technically, she's bigger than me.. It just doesn't really look like it 'cuz my boobs are gigantic & I'm only 5'0".. And our fat distribution is very different.

I don't claim to be beautiful or gorgeous or anything like that. I know I'm "pretty", have been called the other 2 adjectives, before, plenty of times, but yeah. no.

But whatever. Just one of those things, I guess. She actually got fired from LongHorn today. They suspended her on Friday 'cuz she called this girl a "tweakfreak" and told her to quit hittin' the pipe - in the dining room of all places. She said that New Justin (1 of the managers) left her flowers, donuts, chocolate milk, and an Otterbox for the Galaxy Note that her ex bought her on her doorstep this morning and then showed up again after she found out she got fired and went swimming with her. And he's already asked her out on a date and everything. I told her there goes her Unemployment Check right there.

IDK about anyone else, but I just -can't- date younger guys. I can't. I refuse. Jay's like a year and 2 weeks older than me and even -that- is pushing it on the age gap scale. I typically go for anywhere from 3 - 7 years older.. May start re-thinking that though.. I often forget how old I really am. I don't feel 28. And according to like.. Everyone except me, I look like I'm 18/19 - early 20's. I've gotten as young as 16 or 17 a couple of times. It was pretty great. But the fact is, the wrinkles are starting to settle in and I'm afraid I'm going to have my mom's skin - she's terribly wrinkly now. She's also 68, but yeah. She's been wrinkly for awhile. Parker said one day.. "Mommy! I don't want you to get old and wrinkly like Gram!" and burst into tears.

Speaking of which.. We saw her yesterday. Went to a park in downtown Nashville near 21st Ave (where Taylor Swift was once spotted with Jake Gyllenhall at the Pancake Pantry).. We were very late, but my sister ran for an hour or so, so we got -some- time in with her. She was so excited - I was too, of course. I'd packed lunch for Jay & I and we were all supposed to have a picnic, but we got there too late and they had to eat. So Jay and I sat down with P, I shared my chips & water with her and we ate our sandwiches. She scooted next to me and whispered in my ear, "Hey mommy.. I have money for you in BBE's car. Remind me." .. It was the sweetest thing on the planet. I told her she doesn't need to do that, and she said, "But I want to, mommy! You need it!"

She cried when it was time to go. It was sad. I held her and we hugged for a long time while I tried to calm her down. She didn't want to leave me. At all. It was heartbreaking. I cried the whole way back home.

I asked my sister if we could have her for a weekend after Cam ships off to Afghanistan and we get his room cleaned out, but got no response. Jay even said we could get her a new car seat next month since the one I have is too small for her now.

Anywho..



Miss Beautiful & Perfect (as she always used to say. lol.. She gets embarrassed now about it)