Small Girl, Big Life

Why is he texting me? Why -now- does he want to see me? I don't understand.

When I left, after he promised everything would be ok, it was only 2 weeks and he said he was so much happier without me and that it was over.

I cried for months. I begged, pleaded, screamed for him to not leave and do this to me. And my parents, though they know he broke my heart (as well as their's pretty much), they don't know how much I cried over him.

4.5 years. Just like that. He was pretty much Parker's Dad.

He brought me my stuff 3 weeks ago. He also said that he had a girlfriend.

And then out of nowhere, he texted me saying he wants to come see me. Today. After he gets off of work.

I'm shaking all over.

I don't understand. He told me he hates me and never wants to see me again. He -forced- me to move on. And I finally did. And now he's doing this to me. Like, I don't know what to do with myself.

I finally have someone who genuinely cares about me and would never -dream- of stabbing me with a fork or hurting me period. I finally have someone who insists on taking care of me even though -he's- the one that needs to be taken care of. And he's such an amazing guy. He's been through enough in his life (spoiled as he may be), and I won't be the one to hurt him.

And that's what pisses me off. Francisco just thinks he can fly in whenever and I'll be here and be around, but I'm not that girl. I don't forgive, I don't forget.

But it doesn't matter. My nerves are shot to hell. I can't deal with this.