Small Girl, Big Life

Someone shoot me. Please.

Cherie just called me talking about "I'm fixing to be on my way there like -right now-". She's freaking out about God Knows What (I just tune her out 'cuz I can't deal with it. It's like a bad country song).

So apparently she's trying to find a way to get a free Greyhound ticket to come here. I have no idea wtf to do. I can't back out now and say "Oh sorry, you can't come." Because I already promised her.

But, the fact is, Jay isn't here and won't be back until Friday afternoon/evening/whatever and there's -no way- I can get hold of him. I know he won't care, but with Cam not gone yet and I'm trying to set up some kind of visitation with my daughter, like...

As far as -that- goes, it's already f*cked up. Simply because I agreed to let Cherie move in for a little while and she'll end up taking the extra bedroom... Which was supposed to be for my daughter.

And I'm just worried about the whole situation. Like, we've already tried this once, and never did she give money to Bill (who owned the house I lived in) for rent, but she only gave my mom -maybe- $40 and a couple packs of cigarettes for taking her to work and cooking for her. But then she always yelled at me about how she does -everything- for me and I don't appreciate her and I'm such a bitch and all this crap.

..... Point blank, I gave her a roof over her head. And if I really needed painkillers, she'd make -no- effort to get them for me like she would with Aaron. Hell she'd buy them for him if he was broke, but she'd never front me any. Whatever.

I'm just worried that it's going to be the same shit. I very rarely mentioned the fact that I gave her a place to stay when she had -no one-, but every now and then, she'd push me too far and I'd lose my ever loving mind.

This time around though, since I'm with Jay, he won't tolerate something like that. I can't be held responsible for what he does if someone disrespects me or treats me like shit. Especially since he's already buying her a bus ticket to come here (which if she finds one for free, he won't have to). He will go off on a bitch, quick. And so will Cameron, if he happens to be here. He's actually grown to be somewhat protective of me just like Jay has. They know I'm psycho and I don't care, but all the same. That's how they are.

IDK. I'm fixin' to go cook. Yay.