Small Girl, Big Life

This is bad. Really bad.

I'm spoiled.

Ok. So maybe I've -always- been spoiled. I can't help it. It's not my fault I was last born and an... Accident. Yes, I was an accident. My nickname was "oops" for many years. lol But see, my parents always spoiled me.

And now Jay does it. And it's really hard for me to control. I guess because getting Francisco to even buy me flipping conditioner for my hair or getting a few groceries for Parker was like pulling teeth - forget about taking me out on dates and stuff (when I didn't have a job). Sure, every now and then he would, but only because -he- wanted to go out to eat somewhere or go see a movie.

Either way, I kinda feel bad. He's spent a shit ton of dinero over the last week since I've been here. nearly $300 in groceries & cleaning supplies, and then other stuff.. Probably another $300 - $400.. He got a couple of toys for Parker, a few things I needed (make up, couple of tank tops) & we bought some board games. Cuz drunk board games are always fun. lol ... I told him I'd pay him back for it all when I get a job, but he just said don't worry about it.

TBH, he doesn't even really -care- if I find a job or not. He just said that he knows I'll go nuts sitting at home all day cleaning and cooking nonstop. Besides, I need to get my license back.

But anywho.. The subject of a wedding came up again. Apparently his Grandfather's cousin was the President of the Philippines for 20 years ..

.... His dad is a retired lawyer, his mom is a retired doctor (she was licensed over there) -&- a nurse over here in the U.S.

.... Which means it's gonna be a really big wedding. And it makes me nervous. I hate being stared at. I hate when all of the focus is on me. I don't do public speaking. I don't dance. I could deal with a small wedding. That's doable. I can dig that.

But something with 200+ people? And no one that I know there (besides maybe my lil girl and my sister.. IDK anyone else really that'd be down to fly over there for a wedding)? My parents wouldn't go for that. I could be wrong. My dad was actually super into the idea of Francisco and I getting married in Mexico. He was down to get a passport for that. But flying.. I highly doubt that'd happen. He thinks he's gonna be dead soon anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter either way.

2 years. That's what we decided.. I guess. I'm flipping out, though. I feel like I should start doing things.. heh.

Anywho...



my baby is cute as shit.

We also downloaded Parasite Eve last night. Yay!