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Small Girl, Big Life

The Day You Went Away

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Jay's gone 'till Friday.

He says last week someone got shot in the side, I guess was in critical condition, and had to be taken to the hospital immediately. I'm not sure why the hell he didn't have his bullet proof vest on - I'm SMH on that one.

Cam leaves on Monday. As annoying as he can be, I'm really going to miss him.

Saturday night, we all got trashed (as usual) - 30 pack, an 18 pack, and a 1.5 liter of Jack. Yeah.. And still they can't hang with me. But whatever. For some odd reason, Cam went to sleep super early -and- in his bedroom (he normally sleeps on the couch).

1 a.m. rolled around and Jay & I are in a -very- serious game of Monopoly, right. Cam comes out of the room and I was like "What's up Drunky Monkey!?"

His response?

"Nuttin' man. I'm going to the Range."

The ****!?

Jay said "Huh? The Range?", and Cam goes "Yeah. You know 'Bang Bang'? I gotta get goin'. I'm running late." - goes to the bathroom and for whatever reason, belted out November Rain whilst taking a leak.

After his Impromptu Bathroom Concert, he came -back- in the living room, with his laptop, practically begging me to finish this stupid Power Point presentation for him... 'Cuz it's due "tomorrow" (Monday).

He wasn't even dressed in his ACUs. We finally broke the news that it was (by then) only 1:30 Sunday morning. He didn't have to be anywhere. He thought it was Monday morning and then late Sunday night.

It was quite humorous. I laughed my ass off for like an hour. And then I trolled Cam's page pretty hardcore about it. It was pretty great.

So, I'm gonna miss all of this definitely.

Anyway, so I went back to sleep after dropping Jay off and had another dream about my Dog Bozo. I don't have them very often - like I mentioned in that one thread. I really only have them -maybe- once every 3 or 4 months, a very few times, I might have 2 in one month. Either way, I always wake up really upset and depressed and it takes me awhile to get over it. Not sure why, I just do.

It was different, this time though. Usually they're dreams where he's reassuring me that he's ok, he's not mad at me, and everything's fine.

This time it wasn't like that. It was -before- he died. I had come home to see him. We got settled on the living room floor like we always did to watch tv. I put my arm around him and realized he had been losing weight. I could feel his ribs and saw the he was no longer the 175 lb massive beast of a dog he'd always been. And then I also realized that he -was- old and sick and lost my mind. And then I forced myself to wake up 'cuz I couldn't stand it anymore.

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