Small Girl, Big Life

Sooo, I really can't handle when people get emotional and/or like freak out on me. I just can't.

I can give advice all day, but I'm usually so brutally honest about it (almost to the point of being/sounding bitchy and harsh) that it either upsets someone even more or they get mad at me.

But what I -really- can't handle is an emotional dude. Maybe from having to deal with Aaron so much back in Texas (lmao my mom told me after I moved back that she always thought he was a wimpy kid), but like.. It's frustrating.

Jay was diagnosed with PTSD and has Impulse issues from it - like... He'll decide he really wants something, and it doesn't matter if it means he'll be broke - he'll go get it.

For whatever reason, he kinda freaked out on me last night about it and was like "I kinda screwed it up with my ex-wife 'cuz of that even though she screwed me over too and I don't wanna do the same thing to you and mess it all up again.."

I didn't say anything, but my 1st thought was..... "SOOOO you really -did- have feelings for this person? I thought it was just a "business deal" to get the BAH..."

I could care less, it's in the past, but, that's like the 2nd kind of serious lie I've caught him in since we met.

But I just didn't really know what to say. Like, sorry, I've never dated someone in the Army, much less someone with these kinds of issues, so I don't know what to tell you. That sounds pretty selfish, I know.

And he was all "I need your help controlling me with it" and I'm like .".......... Uhhhhh... You're fine?"

Because I mean, yeah, he may have Impulse problems, but at the same time, I think a lot of things like that are Mind Over Matter entirely. Like when I was so-called "depressed" and forced to be on anti-depressants.. As soon as I turned 18, I stopped taking the medicine and going to see the doctors and just get myself into a better mood in general instead of being mopey all the time.

Everytime I've fallen into a drug habit, I've gotten off of whatever all by myself - no rehab, no support group, nothing.

So, IMO, I believe it's something he can totally control if he really tries to..