Small Girl, Big Life

My roommate/ our best friend died on Friday.

I'm the one who found him and I'm beyond heartbroken and traumatized.

I don't understand. I should've checked on that stupid son of a bitch sooner. Maybe I could've saved him.

I don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself or shake off the guilt. I can't eat, I've hardly slept, I can't stop crying and it's getting worse since the shock's worn off.

He drove me up the Goddamn wall with ...

One of my best friends, I guess- we hadn't really been close in years, but we grew up together... She hung herself.

I still can't believe it. I wish there were something I could've done. She left behind like 4 kids.

She struggled with drugs for a large chunk of her life, I'm pretty positive even up until she died. She was in a really bad car accident that nearly killed her a year or so ago, and apparently tried to get her shit together, but it didn't really work out. ...

I really really -really- hate doing this.

Like it's mega uncomfortable for me and I don't like it at all.

But.

https://www.gofundme.com/8r4dyyqg



My cat is recovering wonderfully, and she's allllllmost back to her old self now, though it'll still be awhile before she's 100% again.

She didn't go down without a fight, though. Kitty left a huge gash on the dog's snout and another just over his eye. She's tough ...

It's been awhile.

Hope everyone's good and junk!

Life in The Big Apple is aight, I suppose. I wouldn't mind the heat so much if I didn't sweat buckets within 3 seconds of being outside. IDK why, but my head sweats a lot and it ruins my hair- which has recently decided to become extremely dry and no amount of DIY moisturizing hair masks and/or deep conditioners help it.

My girl came up for 3 weeks last month. My sister's girlfriend flew her up and then ...

I'm still struggling with feelings over losing my mom.

I'm still mad at her in so many ways.

She was such an amazing woman.. But not to me.

It's a long story.

But her birthday was this past Friday - on the 11th. Which was also the 4 month anniversary of her death.

It really sucks that this is the way I remember her. And there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

On the plus side- my amazing girl... She's ...