The Final Voyage of the Liquid Sky

As usual, one of my favorite holidays brings me pain. It's not the material aspect (though being the poor kid that got to watch his cousins get tons of gifts an shit kinda sucked) I just really wish I had some one to celebrate with. It REALLY just reminds me of how alone I really am...so I spent the day rather depressed...minus the time I was talking to a certain friend.

Ole Lacquer is killing himself again, feeling feelings for some one he can most likely never have. I'm trying to fight them...but my wall of protection only belies the truth that I desperately want that special some one. We have our differences, but we're pretty good friends and have a lot of commonalities...especially one that is extremely important (and even more rare/hard to find) that we both share. As some of you know, I did go 2660 miles for a girl last summer, which is why I'm SOOOOOOOOO against the idea of a relationship...let alone one formed on the internet. This person is quite a bit closer...but in another country. .-. A good friend of my recommended I just put it out of my mind as to not chase a pipe dream and lose other chances...but even though I'm not really chasing this one, I don't see any reason not to, since no other chances exist. I'm just...HIGHLY out of my league on this one...

I'm incredibly lonely, and today just made it so much worse. I've just been alone for soooooooooooo long and it's just getting more and more painful. Anyway, /whinyrant

In other news, my job is going well, I get my first real check of around $178 on the 3rd, so as long as i can survive gas wise til then, things should be pretty cool as far as money is concerned. The job isn't too bad, other than the lack of lunch breaks or...any breaks. But oh well, gotta take what I can get...