3vil Chef.

Due to some unforeseeable events that transpired over the past couple weeks, I have been absent from this, my home. Now I am back - and I am greatly vexed.
Much like the query experienced by Aelius Maximus after the battle in Germania, I am faced with a conundrum that will affect lives outside my own and am utterly stumped as to how I shall proceed.
With the flight of my little sister, everything worthwhile and spiritually pleasing has vanished from my current surroundings. I am left with brothers who nip at each other and make cracks about flatulence and puke. They respect me not, though I have sacrificed much to protect and stabilize their home. They need me here.
My main problem is this: I am going nowhere, both geographically and mentally. My proverbial cage is small and I have often found reason to despise it, but lately it has been grating at my very soul. Shall my life on this earth be spent cleaning and cooking where I am ill-suited and unhappy, do I dare dream higher and if I do, will those dreams turn to wings, or ash? Will they give me freedom or cause those around me unnecessary distress, corrupting and twisting me into my lifelong enemy: selfishness. If the answer is both, could I ever knowingly dash the lives of the beings I've come to cherish in order to gain a space for myself? And will that space and silence be as I pictured it, or will the peace be tainted by the means I took to that end?
Is this all just me, afraid to dream?

Yeah, I just watched Gladiator for the seventh time Good to be back!