3vil Chef.

*Jack Bauer voice-over* The following occurred the other night between 11 pm and 12 pm:

First, off, you remember how I live with three brothers now, right? Good.

There's this guy who keeps sneaking into our yard on the weekends and has attempted, more than once, to steal things of ours *shivers at thought* That night, Sir Lawrence (my youngest, most responsible brother) said he heard noises and saw movement outside the window, so, obviously, the hoard of brothers dropped their controllers and chose their weapons. Abel: A long pole (well suited to combating ill-favored fellows) Wallace: A long, somewhat filthy knife (a contrast to his beefy persona) Sir Lawrence: Nothing (he plans to follow along just to observe the hunt and laugh at the captive afterwards) The band rushes out into the night to impale the criminal upon their blade/pole.
Now I, silly girl, left alone with the muted television, decide it best if I just check out what's taking them so galdurn long. I step outside and am greeted with a heavy gloom. Understandably I took a minute to adjust my eyes and notice that the yard is pretty quiet. I slowly continue to where my brothers usually hang out and then, suddenly, I hear crunching leaves that indicate a large creature is rapidly closing in on my location. I squinted and recognized Wallace's dirty aqua T-shirt, but did he recognize me? Certainly not. All at once my mind alit to the weapon he'd picked up earlier: that filthy knife!
I let out a scream/squeal much akin to that of an offended chicken and Wallace screeched to a halt.
I hate to imagine what would've happened had he just ignored that squeak.
I chewed him out pretty well after that, but it still took me ages to fall asleep. Phew. Close one.