The Michael Swayne Story V: King of his Castle

I have a bit of a rant, and after reading it, you will either think I am either too sensitive and should just suck it up, or maybe you'll think something entirely different. I don't know. Well, here goes...

I was called to go help Larry this evening. It was already dark, and getting cold. I got there at 6:45pm, the time I was asked to go over. Then, I waited for him to come outside. He was still eating his dinner, and I was fine with waiting. When we got started working, everything was fine. But as the minutes rolled on, I seemed to longer do anything correctly. I left a paint can open, despite not being the one to last use it (I didn't point that out to him). I was taking too long to tighten the nuts onto the bumper. I was scratching the freshly painted bumper (I knew it was freshly painted, because I was the one that painted it). And it got so bad that I was leaving my fingerprints on the new bumper (how else am I going to hold the thing when we're putting it on, especially since I was wearing gloves?).

Every time I would do something wrong, he would always say something that would just rub me the wrong way. I held it in, because that is just what I did every other time he would something like that. But with everything going wrong, the insults just kept piling on, without giving me time to absorb it and prepare for the next one. Kind of like how when it rains more and more, and ground doesn't have time to soak it in, and it just starts ponding. When I was asked to hand him the 7/16ths socket and wrench, and I said that I thought he was getting (because that's what I thought he said, which if he would speak louder or without mumbling then maybe I wouldn't have trouble understanding what he says), he said that he's always having to hand me things, and that I was just like his employees (which apparently, he has to hand things to as well, I don't know); I kind of blew up a little. I said, "Well, if I'm doing such a bad job, then maybe I should just go home!"

He replied, "I was only joking." Well, that's odd, because I was not laughing. Maybe it was my fault, and I should have said something earlier about these "jokes". If I had, would he have stopped. Anyway, he then said, "If you want to go home, then just go."

"If you don't want me here, then I will."

"Go home, and I'll finish up here by myself."

"Fine." And then I grabbed my coat, and walked out of the garage.

I then went to the house, and was paid for my time. I didn't mention it to Tonya, since I didn't think it was something I needed to discuss with her. And then I walked back up the hill to the house. On the way, I felt bad that I may have lost the extra money (because I doubt I'll be asked to help in the future), but I did not feel bad about what I said. I was asked to help out, and that is what I was paid to do. I was not asked to just sit there and take being insulted for money.

I think all of this is stemmed from how Dad would always insult me for doing things incorrectly. I generally don't take insults well, especially when they are disguised as "jokes". I think everyone here knows that I have no sense of humor. And I don't think joking around is something needed in an environment with power tools and sharp objects. But anyway, Dad would never just show me how to do something the right way. He'd always pair it with some hurtful comment. And as I grew up, the comments would just get more and more personal. So, that, and the incident tonight, were kind of similar for me.

Well, that's enough of the rant. If I am asked to help out again, then I will apologize for my outburst. And, I will do my best to insulate myself for when the insults come out again. If not, then that is okay as well. Sure, it will take me longer to earn money for things, but I am fine with that. After all, I was the one who chose to say what I did. I can accept that. I won't like it, but I accept it.

Anyway, I have to get ready for bed. I have to shower, and get everything set up for my first truly cold day of the season. It will only be 41 degrees tomorrow, with a bit of a wind. So, tomorrow's route will definitely be "fun". Well, until next time...

Later!

Michael