The Michael Swayne Story V: King of his Castle

Okay, so the gears in my brain were turning, and turning, and turning; and they were churning out these really random thoughts today. Just goes to show you that if you leave me in a room (or anywhere really) and give me a monotonous task (like folding/stapling newspapers), you will eventually here me talk to myself and think a whole bunch of random stuff. So, here goes...

What I asked myself...

"If a member of PETA hits a deer with their car, do they get kicked out of PETA for cruelty to animals?"

What I find gross...

Rotten jack-o-lanterns that have went bad and no one throws them away.

What I find more gross...

Christmas decorations hanging up/standing beside/near previously mentioned rotten jack-o-lanterns.

What I find odd...

Christmas decorations being put up before Halloween.
Jack-o-lantern being carved before the school year starts.

That's another thing. Where in the world did these idiots find pumpkins in early August? And why would they ruin them and cause them to rot by carving them in late August? It makes no sense. Just because a store starts selling something festive early does not mean that everyone and their brother has to flock to store in order to buy said festive thing. Chances are the thing for sale will be there when you should buy it. If not, they will most likely get in more of said festive piece.

Anyway, back to how I was amusing myself today.

I would randomly start laughing as I rode my bike. Nothing was funny, but there I was. People would stare, and I would just smile and act as if I was a a little more sane than I am. But then I remembered, I have been doing this for 6 years, therefore everyone already knows I crazy.

Also...

I really had to use the bathroom all during my route. And of course it was freezing today on my bike, and none of the businesses were open. There were some, but none had public restrooms. So that was suckish. In the end, I did what any well prepared paperboy did.

Spoiler: I urinated in an empty water bottle.

Which brings me to my next topic for today...

Weird things about yourself.

1. I keep an empty water bottle around for occasions as described above.

2. I currently ride a girl's bicycle.

3. I have a Shake-Weight. I used it ten times, I think.

That's all I can think of. I'm sure there is a lot more, and you all probably know what those things are.

Anyway...

I finished my work for today at 10 am. (Shock! Gasp!) It was cold, okay. And my stapler broke (which reminds me that I need to take my stapler out of of my bag). Anyway, I was finished and sitting on the porch waiting for someone to show up to unlock the office and give me my check. Then I waited, and waited.
...
...
And waited...
...
No one showed up.
...
...
...
...
At all.

So here I am thinking, did I not get the memo that the office would be closed today? I checked my phone. Nothing. I sent a message to Misty's cell phone. No one replied. So, I go to where Wade works. He has Misty's phone. I asked if he had an extra key to the office, because it is not right that the office be closed when it should be open. I was going to work until someone showed up, just so the office would be open. Wade didn't have a key.

So Wade and I chatted for quite a while. And when I got back to the office, there was still no one there. So, I go home. And really, why should I stay? The office isn't open, and it was still cold out. I was NOT going to stand outside in the cold for another two hours just for someone to show up and give me my check.

Remember what I talked about last Friday? You know, about a possible promotion? Click HERE in case you missed it. Well, after Wade and I talked about how he did not have a key to the office, we had this conversation.

Wade: "So, how do you like composing the paper?"

Me: "Huh? I have never composed the paper before."

Wade: "Oh, I thought you started doing that."

Me: "No, Misty was going to tell me tomorrow if I get to."

Wade: "Oh yeah, that's right. If asked, are you going to do it? I think you should. You're creative like that."

Me: "If asked, I will." (In my head, I'm saying "I will do anything other than sell ads!")

Then we moved on to something else. That something else is what I talked about last Friday as well. In case you missed the link above, I will put another one HERE. The point is, I think he spilled the surprise. So, it is looking even better that I will be composing the paper soon (like starting tomorrow). That's super great!

Moving on...

I completed my third gaming session on Final Fantasy VII today. I am still not where I want to be to publish my first post for the LP, but I am almost halfway there. I don't want to give too much away because it would ruin the post. I mean, if I talk about it here, you won't be inclined to read it when I publish the actual post. So, all I will say is that I am nearly where I want to be. That is so vague, but I can't describe it any better than that.

I had an idea. So, I have had a couple songs on repeat since I installed Spotify on this computer (shhh, don't tell the person who is letting me borrow the computer that I installed Spotify). The first is Wonder Girls's Like Money featuring Akon (who is Akon, can someone tell me). The second is the Japanese version of f(x)'s Hot Summer. Anyway, I am learning the dances for both songs. And as a treat for everyone when I get my new computer and a better camera, I thought about making a video of me dancing to one of these songs. So, that's where I got the idea. I would like to ask my fellow TFFers which they would prefer to see me dance. Here are the embedded videos of the songs:





Now, I am not promising perfection. And I am not setting a date on when the video will be made. Just that if people tell me in the comments or one of the other seemingly endless list of ways to get in touch with me

VM
PM
MSN
Skype
Facebook
Yahoo! E-mail
Hotmail E-mail
Cell Phone
Home Phone
Leaving a message where I work
Sending a fax to where I work
Postal Mail
Driving to my house and talking to me

Actually, the list is no where near "seemingly endless". Anyway, if you want to see me either make a fool of myself (which isn't too hard to do) or totally kick butt at dancing to a K-Pop song, tell me and I will work toward setting that goal. And if seeing some tan guy dancing to some girl-group's hit song isn't up your alley, then feel free to not comment or contact me in any of the ways listed above.

Finally tonight (10:01 pm), I should talk about what I wrote about in the comments yesterday. First, I did shave this morning. Ah well. It wasn't meant to be.

Second, you may not want to believe this, but I have been told I would make a good preacher. I don't know why, I just do. Frankly, I can't see what makes people think that. Anyway, when I was young and living with my grandparents, we (my sibling and I) would have to go to church every Sunday. I hated it, because it was so boring. Now, I have nothing against religious types, it just isn't me. Anyway, I may have said this before, but I was forced to cut my hair in order to go to this church. As well as keep the earring out of my ear. Yeah, I had my ear pierced at one time. Anyway (again), when we began living with my parents again, I stopped going to church. And it let down so many people (that I didn't care about).

I was just so good at the whole Sunday School thing. I got all the questions right, and paid attention and all that. And apparently that makes for a good preacher. I get told even today (well actually a couple weeks ago) that I should go and become a preacher. I told the person that I would consider it if nothing more exciting came along.

But really, I am not interested in it.

One more thing. I know, I am really working your finger muscles by making you scroll down the page so much. Live with it. I have been called "Doc" more and more lately. At first it was once in a while, but now it is all the time. I have asked why everyone is calling me that, and they all say "You just look like a Doc." Well, thanks for the seemingly random name change! I only just got used to people calling me by last name (since my last name is kinda rolls off the tongue, whereas my first name doesn't so much), and now I have a new nickname. Hey, at least it is better than the nickname I had when I was little.

More reader participation! YAY!!!!

For ten points, and at least 12.5% of my soul, what was my nickname when I was younger? Like Rumplestiltzkin, you only get three guesses.

CAUTION: Actual prizes may vary. Percentage of Michael's soul may be combined with Gypsy Elder's soul provided that Michael cuts his hair, wraps it in wool, and sends it to her. Therefore, earning a small percentage of her soul. Points may be redeemed for prizes by calling Michael from the hours of 3:01-3:03 pm Eastern Standard Time on the fifth Thursday of the month. Shipping and handling charges may apply.

So, that's all for now. I should get some sleep. I have to deliver in Sinking Spring in the morning, and then go to the office for work; where I will either attempt to sell ads for Basketball week (feel free to call the office and give me your money) or training on how to compose the paper. It shouldn't be too hard since it's on a template (read tomorrow's entry for how wrong I was). Anyway, hope to see you around the forums, and until that time comes when I do...

Later!

Michael

PS, if you do call the office and place an ad, and you don't live with in our circulation area (which is like 273 of you), I will personally mail you a copy of the paper. Seriously, I would do that.