The Michael Swayne Story V: King of his Castle

...but Facebook just seemed to not be the right place. As much as I want my Facebook peoples to know my reaction to the following, I don't think it best for them to know...yet. Anyway, let's get started. I'll begin by saying that Dad showed up today. He had a Christmas card from him, and one from Grandma. Grandma's was just a basic money envelope from the bank. But Dad's was a card. Inside was the following message:

Dear Micheal

I hope you are doing ok
I want to wish you a very
Merry Christmas and Happy
New Year I hope one day
we can sit down + talk
and work out our problems
after all you are my oldest
son and I still love you
and miss you. Some time
if you want to come over
and visit. I would also
like to invite you to church

Love you
Dad

And then on the other side of the card:

May God bless you
and answer all your
prayers

Love
Dad +
Suzie

Okay, first off, I typed it exactly as he had it. So, let's get out our LOL's and LMFAO's, and mock his poor usage of punctuation. Second, if I'm so important to him and whatnot, why didn't he spell my name correctly. That is a really big thing with me. If you don't know my basic information, then you can't pretend I'm as important as you make it out to be. It's not difficult to know the five things to keep me happy.

1) My full name, and how to spell it.
2) My age and birthdate.
3) I will not appreciate it if you are mean to my, or any, animals.
4) No drugs, alcohol, or stolen items in my presence.
5) Don't talk to me as if I'm stupid. Because it's extremely likely that I'm smarter.

Third, and I don't know why he hasn't figured it out yet, is that I have no intention to sit down and talk to him about "our problems". Mainly because I have moved on and want nothing to do with him, or my immediate branch of the Swayne family, any longer. I have no problems that need talked about. I take that back. My only problem I have is that I get interrupted doing things I like doing when he comes to visit.

That's all I have on that, for now. Inside the card were two things. First, was $20, which I will use to renew Luca's dog license, just like last year. I won't use his ill-gotten money on myself. I'd rather not have that icky feeling looming over my head for the next year. Second was a piece of notebook paper containing a letter from floozy.

Dear Micheal,

Seriously?! How many Micheal's do these people have in their lives to make it seem normal to spell it that way?

I'm sorry that you have choosen
not to be a part of your Grandma
an your Dad's lives. I hope that
will change. They love you. We all
love you. I know you are a grown
man an you can feel the way you
want and live your life the same
way. But Micheal we pray that things
will change, that you will want to
be a part of our family once again.
Our door will always be open
for you. And may the Lord Bless
Your Heart and Bring you True
Happiness which is in Christ.
I ask your forgiveness for anything
I have done wrong to you. And pray
for your happiness an good health

With Love
Suzie

Does TFF have a vomiting emoticon, because I feel I need to use 100 of them. Let me check...Yay! I found it!

But yeah, that's what it read, exactly as it was written. I showed it to Carma when she got up, and her expression was the same as mine afterward. Like, why did she feel it necessary to put pencil to paper and write me a letter? You know what, let's make that number six on the list of things to keep me happy.

6) When writing a letter, note, or some type of correspondence that isn't electronic, it must be written in pen. I'm too important for pencil, and too old for crayon.

You know what, I don't see anything else wrong with it, other than the obvious "what possessed her to think she was important enough to write to me?" She is not important enough for me to care otherwise.

Oh well. If anything, it gave me a laugh, and I could always use a reason to laugh. Plus, I got $40, and that's always good. I think if I post anything on Facebook today, it will be my list of things to keep me happy.

Well, that's about it for now. So, until next time...

Later!

Michael

Darn! I had to cut the amount of vomit from 100 to 10. I feel this post needs 100, and if someone can add the other 90, I would appreciate it!