The Michael Swayne Story V: King of his Castle

I have been down today. It's like all the joy has been sucked out of me. You see, I know something that I shouldn't know. I should wait until the person tells me this bit information. But I already know. Normally, knowing things makes me happy, because it means I'm one step closer to knowing everything. I don't know why the possibility of knowing everything makes me happy, it just does. Anyway, this thing I know has put a damper on everything. When I am around this person I act sorta sad, thinking that maybe this person will ask what's wrong and I could possibly coax the information out of them. But it's like the person is purposefully keeping it from me. Like they're afraid I will think less of them if I know.

The truth is, it does. Normally, I try not to judge people on their actions, you know. I try to see the good in them. But this is something I can't look past. This is something that in my eyes could never be forgiven. And it eats at me that I can't tell them I know.

Now, my day started all right. I played some more of Days, and watched some funny YouTube videos. But then I found out, and nothing is working on improving my mood. During the time the computer switched videos on YouTube my mind wanders and I think about it again. It is going to be horrible when I go to bed tonight, because I will probably not get to sleep.

I have a Korean movie loading on YouTube right now as I type this. It's titled Girl by Girl, but I can't seem to find any info on it on Wikipedia. The film's gotten over one million views so far with nearly three thousand likes, so it can't be that bad. I just like to know a little about something I am going to watch before I invest two hours in watching it, you know.

I know one thing, I long for the day when my computer arrives. The way I figure it, I have $79.32 right now. Add to that the $130 I expect to get on Wednesday. That's $209.32. I still owe $166 on my computer, plus a $1.15 money order cost. Which means I will have the money for the computer with my next check, and have money left over ($42.17). This is great, because in order to get my computer before Christmas I have to send in the remaining balance before December 3rd. So, as long as nothing completely horrible happens (which it might) I will definitely have my computer before Christmas. Which means no more slow borrowed computer! Finally, the end is near.

If only money could solve the gloom I am currently in, though. Oh well.

I am working in the office tomorrow. That will get my mind off this, if only for five hours. Maybe I will ride home slow to maybe clear my head with how beautiful tomorrow's weather is forecast to be. It will be cold in the morning, but it will warm up quickly.

Well, the movie is only one-third finished loading, so I still have a little while to wait before I can watch it without it stopping for buffering. I hate that, don't you? You are really in to some video, and then the movie stops at the best part. Then you have to wait for it to start back up again. Anyway, I think I will make some popcorn before I watch it. Hey, if the movie turns out to be sad, maybe watching it will make me feel better about everything. You never know.

That's all for now. Until the next time I see you around the forums...

Later!

Michael