The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Today makes a little bit of a difference to most days, in a way. Nothing interesting happened, but my attitude has changed a bit. I feel... rebellious. Like, rather rebellious. I feel like going out and spending my money on a leather jacket and bandshirts, contacts and to finish the look. Ive wanted to for a very long time, but someone has always had better plans for my time/money. But i really feel like it right now. I NEED an MCR shirt. And im going to melb this weekend, so maybe then.

My father is being less than ideal as well, deciding that he knows what is best for me. Its one thing to give guidance, anouther to take over a 21year old's life. He seems to be getting more power hungry than anything. I would very much like to spend a lot of time out doing things. Theres potential in that, but i guess ill have to wait for her. Parkour will serve for now, i guess. But back on track..

I know a decent shop around that sells decent shirts. Going to go up and grab one. Cant really afford too much right now, but im going to spend something on myself every pay. Why? Because i ****ing can, and i need to think of my own wellbeing for a change. Excluding a few people right now, i really couldnt care less. I want what i want. I guess im going to have more need for a job now, but i assume thai will be calling me soon for holiday work, since thats kind of close. Well... It starts sometime in november, right? I have quite a few things up my sleeve that i want to do, but i dont know if i want to do these alone just yet. Ill write a list.

My debts can wait a little longer. Ill contribute to them, just.. how i am now, they cant be my only concern. My ex? Screw her. I did a fair bit of work for her, so she owes me time at the very least. I got no damn reward for any of that, unless you count my freedom, which i could have gotten anyways. Next time she talks to me she's in for a bit of a surprize.

Hmm, just occured to me that i might seem a bit in a way that i dont want to. I believe im only acting how some teenagers do when they get to a point. Yeah, i did make a comment before that im 21 and can rule my own life, but i really can. I want to have some real fun for a change. Not at the expence of others, but to just muck around. I wonder if she'll be game, because she'll make it a time worth making note of.

Actually, right now i feel like getting into a fight. Im not going to, of course. Im not reckless enough to think its a good idea, but thats the sort of direction im going in. Maybe its a little self-destructive, i dont know. But baby steps, ay? I wonder where im going to get my leathers from. My hairs almost as long as i like it again. I want to see some live bands. I dont want to wear anything but black. And im listening to Stealing o'neal. Dude, you'll wish you never messed with this one, ay? THE hardcore.