The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Had a pretty rough night at work. Pretty much had to do my own job and pack takeaways. So basically, pack takeaways and ignore my job, and then try and finish that as quickly as possible when i have time. Im pretty good under pressure though, so i managed it quite easily. Well, 'easily'. pretty tired after that..

A friend of mine posted a status 'like and ill tell you my opinion of you. Of course, im one of the people who ocasionally likes those things. The response i got was pretty unexpected.

'Ah seph where to begin... I think you are a unique and strange individual, but in the most positive of aspects. You dare to be who you are, you have a high set of morals which you don't bend for anyone. Overall you're a great person who goes that extra mile to help those you care about'

This is a new friend of mine (about 6months). But he's pretty cool. Someone i neglect a little due to wanting to be alone, or the fact that he messages me at bad times. But im in need of new close friends..

Demons is moving away into magilla's house. At least, im pretty sure he is, as he hasnt told me anything, or really talked to me at all in a few weeks. I dont really get replies from the people i called close friends anymore. I guess its expected, after my ex basically forcing me to not talk to or see anyone over long periods of time. They seem interested in talking and stuff occasionally (that being maybe.. once a month?) but the rest i just feel alone. I really... dont know what it is. Ive always felt that im boring and that noone should really want to be around me, but i never expected it to really be true. At least not demons. Though he has really always put everyone else over me when i think about it. He's there.. i guess. But eh. Now.. i just feel alone. The only one here I can really see is Aerideyn and pedo. Both of which are way too busy with life.

This would be entirely ok if i could see my fangirl more than once a week, but ill have to wait a bit for that. I find myself missing her most times i think of her. Its not the ache it was, now that ive seen her but its still there. And she's opening up to me, a little more too. I find, the more she does that, the more i open up to her. At least, thats the trend. We are both pretty shy, inside.

Ive wanted to make something for her for valentines day, but i dont know what. Its harder now, that i know that i wont see her before then. I regret not making something before monday. And then again.. i forgot what i was going to say, or at least, it didnt come. I dont know. Ive met her mum before, so ive been wondering if she'd be accepting of me. It doesnt seem that way though. My thoughts are leading into nervous circles, gahh.

Im not really getting much break from work this week. Im working every second day from now. At least ill end it with $400 or so. Well, that much more than what i have now. If this keeps up, i should be able to keep my parents quiet for a bit.

Im waiting to hear from pedo, actually. He was apparently buying their house last friday, and it sounded like he wanted me to move in. Maybe ill just have to wait till the weekend or something. Im kind of relying on it. And my parents are nagging the crap out of me. Its painful. Their attempts to get inside my head are becoming almost a daily thing. I think they feel like they deserve to know everything about how i feel, but ill never let them in, and they'll never understand like they think they do. Giving them the chance is also anti-productive, because they'll just force solutions on me. Firstworldproblems. NEED TO MOVE OUT!

I think I know now what would suit me best. Not really being alone, but just having one person. Of course, im not going to abandon anyone, but not being alone all the time was great. Im losing the care to try to hard with people, excluding miss fangirl (whom i believe deserves everything). Its just that i dont get anything back. They just dont understand like they think they do. Because if they did, they'd realize how cold they make the world seem. People that i deemed 'worth knowing' (a term i used a long time ago, and a high compliment for me who rarely compliments) making me feel so alone. Eh. Or maybe im the bad person that isnt worth knowing. Who knows.