The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Im not sure how long ago i posted... But its probably long enough.

A few days ago i got my old job back, at my thai resturant. Im not happily working every monday and tuesday night. Its still one of the few places i actually feel open because hell, theres been some alright memories. And noone bothers me there, its just all good i guess. Oh, and i get payed. Always a bonus. Its good to know that my anxiety doesnt really go up there a whole lot either, so its fairly safe to work there without requiring myself to leave.

I also ran my phone through the washing machine. My mind is that far elsewhere at the moment. I can barely think, i guess. No, that isnt entirely true, i can hold a thought long enough for it to matter. Though every few minutes my mind does wander.

Though its raining almost every day, the weather is still pretty hot. Its irritating. i sit here with just an open shirt most of the time. Yeah, i dont react too well to the heat. I prefer the cold. Well, i prefer staying inside on a cold day. Because its also cold inside. Thats probably my ideal, however outside does have its advantages.

This silly fangirl still doesnt have internet. Hurry up. Its starting to bother me that she actually isnt ok at all. Like, really bother me. Heaps bother me. But im completely helpless. I cant find her outside of the online world at all. The second she talks to me, i will fix that rather thouroughly. I dont wonder how she is with her parents though. I didnt really ask too much of it in that one conversation because i thought we'd have a lot of time to talk, however that was not so. Is her father still the prick he used to be? I still remember seeing how afraid she was of him. I also wonder how tolerant they'd be of me if i were to visit. I know before that that was completely out fo the question, though i do remember meeting her mother. I remember that night where i almost had my fangirl out of that house.. How her mum was, and how i promised to protect her daughter. It makes me feel so terrible that ive really failed at that. So horribly failed. Ah, my moods going down, i might just sleep before my mind wonders in circles.