The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Well, i think im on the path of the optimist again. Ive started going back to the role of 'helping' those that im somewhat close to again. Not that this means i care about humanity overall, though. But, still, i guess i care a little.

The person in question still hasnt really told me about the entire problem, but i feel im getting closer and closer to it. As long as he finds some aid to his sorrow, i feel ive done my job, or at least, you know. I never really felt that im good at these things, but im really not. In a way, im a good listener and good at reflecting on my own past experience. That is what some people need, really. But only some. There are some, like me, that cannot really be helped in any way. That is, by outside influence. The only sure help i have is some person coming back into my life. At least feeling that she's ok. Although i trust her words, i dont really trust they mean quite what she thinks they do. Everyone has different standards. Gahh, i need a job and a house of my own. SO MANY PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED. Though, eh.

Magilla was really down tonight as well. Apart from being here, and providing a distraction, i cant really help him in any way. This is i guess why i feel that im bad at things like this. I can and will always be here, but that doesnt really mean i can do too much about it. All my mind's effort is put towards thinking of a solution to a particular person. She gains my undivided attention and noone else. Thats how it will always be, i guess, though if she drifts away from me in the next few years, it will probably take a rather long time for someone else to qualify for that role. My '.' key is really failing today. Pretty sure it has something stuck under it and its getting quite annoying. Pushing it several times for its desired effect it becoming tiresome.

What do i say? Its so hard. I can be patient. Its easily within my capabilities, but i feel that i should be doing so much more. But i can do nothing for you till you are within my reach. But maybe thats in your interests at the moment. Guess ill find out eventually,