The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Coming up to my last week here alone.

Ive actually cooked a few meals for myself now. Like.. proper meals instead of just heating up frozen food or simplicities like sausages or whatever. People dont believe me when i say i can cook. Though i almost always take the lesser role in cooking when i do with others, i dont lack the ability. I do lack confidence in cooking with others though. My sense of taste isnt exactly similar to that of others... Or at least those that i know. When i say i like bland food, i dont really mean it. But i can do with it almost forever, if i need to, and enjoy it. When i have a taste that i like, i like it rather strong. Almost overbearing. In addition, i am the biggest sweet tooth. Mixing those just adds problems with others. But ill do some experiementation for myself when i move out of here. That makes a good cook, in my opinion. Being able to make the best food for the demand. When other people are involved, im less than ideal. Just me, easy.

Other than that i have lost a lot of motivation to do things. I havent seen my fangirl for over a month now. She's even away next week because she's working instead of going to tafe. Im proud of her for actually finding something she's enjoying (or at least seems to), but i depend on her a lot. Maybe its mutual, but eh. It might also be the lonelyness of living alone though, too, or both. But im not too bad. Work feels like torture. The 2 hour drive just kills me. Sometimes i dont want to go so bad, i feel like just quitting, though im not exactly going to do that. And the pay is absolutely horrible. I earn almost nothing once you take out all the expenses i get from it.

I do really feel lonely. But i guess.. I dont really feel like its because im here all alone all the time. That.. i dont particularly mind. I think i miss fangirl. Thats what it feels like.

Game dev is on hold atm, too. Aer is currently at the end of one of his pilot license tests, so he's studying hard. And im at zero motivation. We'll pick it up soon