The struggle over the tyranny of my world

So, theres a storm outside tonight. Rather unexpected, and rather heavy. Though not expecting thunderstorms is something you can really expect of someone who doesnt pay any attention to the weather. Its pretty heavy and right after some really hot days too. Im also all for stormy weather. Part of me wants the storm to rain down harder. More thunder, more rain, more chaos.

Maybe its the kind of mood im in. Im bored and waiting. But then again, although i dont really fit the picture, i do want to be chaotic. Im just not. guess its the darknesse in me

Finishing my cover letter is hard. I might just end up sending it as it is, though it feels pretty incomplete. And that i have a lot of trouble getting myself into those sorts of moods to write. Oh, and that i cant finish anything. Kinda frustrating. Hey, i dont really finish these blog posts, either. I just get to a point where i cant think about it anymore and click post. Well, most of the time.

Im expecting less of my friends. Which is a good thing, ill add. Ive always expected way too much, though i am somewhat justified in that. I do get rather lonely.

Decided im going to listen to a half hour of music. I can feel the anxiety coming up again. This is my way of controlling it.

'You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be'