The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Well, this isnt really an angry post, but i guess i still do have a fair amount of it left in me. I cant really point any fingers at anyone specific though. Well, my most recent ex did leave me in a rather bad position for her own gain.. but.. who am i kidding, im really not her biggest fan.

Oh, yes, the point. Tbh, i dont really think there was one.

Oh, yes, i joined in on the steam sale today. Got my hands on Torchlight 1+2. Was REALLY considering borderlands 2. Hell, its so tempting. But i think i need my money elsewhere. And when id want to play it (when a friend of mine finally decides to buy the PC version [curse her and her xbox360 incompadibility with pc]) seems to be a fairly long time away. Maybe long enough to buy it cheaper than $35. Maybe. At least ill be in a better money position.

I finally got payed today. I guess ill buy the last 2 wheels on my car, buy some necessary things and pay off some debt. Can probably get rid of a quarter of it this week, and maybe get that to half in 2 weeks time. I wanted it all gone by new years, but really... I kind of want to give it all back at a rather annoying time for her. Itd make my day, but im not really that vengeful. Well, a little, but my own honor goes above that, sadly.

Im doing some looking up of hypotension, which i may or may not have. When i was in paramedics, we looked at my blood pressure and it was noticibly low. Not REALLY low or anything, but it does make sence as i seem to show some of these symptoms.

-Shortness of breath
-Cough with phlegm
-Loss of consciousness (more than i feel feint to the point of passing out relatively easily)
-Profound fatigue
and although it says
-Fever higher than 38.3°C (101°F
i get abnormally high fevers when i manage to actually get sick.

These may not even be related, but they were in the list and are apparently most are 'effects to cause' rather than side-effects. I guess ill look into it a bit later, as although i have the insight to understand this sort of stuff, its fairly late.

Actually.. an effect of LBP 'Orthostatic hypotension' is something i get rather easily (easily, as in most times i stand up quickly). Its basically the 'almost passing out' thing i described briefly and occurs a lot more commonly in people with LBP. Eh, makes sence. And it seems like theres really no avoiding it, as it hasnt really been researched much or something. I didnt really read that thouroughly. But it hasnt caused me too much harm yet. Ill avoid lying down on high up stairs or something, or at least stand and hold a bar. Or just keep someone with me who cares enough to be ready to catch me. Im fairly light :3

Im listening to a lot of the band crossfade lately. I think i may be falling into this genre of music alongside my love of punk. Im comfortable here. This with a slight side of techno/DnB when the call arises. At least being emotionally sound with music gives part of my life a balance. Not sure how many people would understand the feeling, but its rather important in keeping me in a less depressed state. So, yeah, happiness. That thing. Though im not really there at the moment, just kind of content.

Oh, and my fangirl hasnt re-appeared yet. And her friend hasnt used facebook since i posted. Eh, not like i think she can or will help me. People generally have their own wrong opinions that make things difficult for me. Wonder what it is about me that puts that in my way so often.

Either way, to the land of sleep (maybe)