The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Not going to make a long post here, but im working on making music a little more again. Ive picked up my acoustic a fair few times in the last few days and ive pretty much learnt something already. Im thinking of starting to upload, if i can get quality high enough. I dont exactly have the best mic in the world, but we'll see. Im also not that musically talented, tbh. Some say my voice would be amazing if i did some work to it, but eh.

Also, i think my dislike for large crowds of people is developing to a fear. I just, cant really function that well amount a large amount of people and recall into my own mind without interacting, unless someone i like talking to takes me out again. Eh, times are hard. I was at a haloween party tonight and i just... couldnt be social. Demons, his girlfriend and i ended up talking a bit before i left and i feel a little better. I might actually sleep without crying myself to sleep again, like i did last night. But i know this is only temporary. I look a lot worse than i am, its just.. im adjusting to not being with someone constantly. With my fear of being alone i guess i have it harder than most. And.. i feel like im being rejected by almost everyone, which doesnt help. But dont get me wrong, im ok. I keep telling myself things will get better soon. Which, they should really. I just need to adjust, thats all.