The struggle over the tyranny of my world

Ive been feeling good the last week. Hanging out with friends. I finally got the phone i wanted months ago, still at a higher cost than i would have liked. But i got a ps3 with it ^

Still, things should be good now.

Im not entirely sure, because i dont really remember, but i imagine this is how i felt before... Ive just been talking, laughing with people, but i still dont feel good the slightest. I know in normal circumstances i would, but.. Eh.

Hell, i almost though of trying to change the tone of my posts here when the whole blog deal changed, but look how thats turning out. Had perfect timing i guess.

Started watching tutorials on how to make electronic music. My aims are really just trance and stuff, and then use the same program to lead more towards more game related music till we can actually justify hiring someone to make a soundtrack to our game. I have to put some hard work in, otherwise ill feel like it really is Aer's game alone.

New on that, i guess. We're almost to something slightly playable. I believe he's almost finished with the terrain system. It generates fine already, but what we currently need is for different biomes to layer together rather than just suddenly change. He tells me he could do it instantly, but that by far isnt the most efficient method. He's the wizz on all that though, im merely the broken friend in the background, for now. I need downloads to continue with me music making though, which im hoping to get done within the next few days. Maybe saturday night or something, but eh. I really cant bebothered with life at the moment.

Its really awkward running a guild with my ex...Especially when she doesnt understand what my problem is. I really just cant stand her anymore. I realise how much she was suppressing me. I see everything now. No, she wasnt right, and no, i dont think ill ever be able to be friends with her. And what makes it worse is that this is my guild that ive put together that she's done her best to hijack. I guess she kind of has now.. As i dont really find it fun at all. But then again, where i had little motivation for most things, now i have no motivation for anything. Solution? None in sight.

The girl i mentioned last post, i dont know if i posted before or after i went there. Cbf looking. She's cute. Went to her work to get my phone and such. Going to see a movie with her (and her friends) at a drive through cinema next week. My mood will improve a bit by then i think. Hopefully enough :/
Maybe ill just stay out at friend's places all week. If i can, that is.

Seph