ziroth

Well as of 2 years ago I was given that dream card (Amazing life pass) I have yet to use it! I have ameans to go to any college free for 4 years, live anywhere on earth, be with whoever I please and even started learning Japanese a bit Yet all good things come with sacrifice, Ive had a rough life(not the worst but a rough one). Its clouded my judgement, Im so confused all the time.
Ive started trying to clear my mind. I tried working out and making a hobby so that I could think more about myself and get my dreams rolling again! I just cant seem to find the concentration nor motivation to accomplish this. I even developed insomnia due to night terrors. So I sleep when I can.. if I can. I dont really understand the point of half the crap I do anymore. I still feel for my old passions yet they are fading away!
If I dont hurry up and clear my mind and learn to focus I could lose my big shot at having a amazing life! Yet... Do I even want all that? What even defines a amazing life.. would I want to even consider it as such? So many questions, so little time it seems to feel like.