So its 2022 now and it seems activity on the forums really slowed down... I never forgot this place, though I did loose my password and couldn't log in until very recently. Still there was that talk about the forums shutting down entirely or having to move domains or something. Best I can tell, seems they hashed it out.

I really appreciate them keeping the forums alive though. I joined when I was twelve years old... When I say that my generation grew up with the internet, I mean that literally. Read my now archived journal and you'll see firsthand how atrocious my spelling and grammar was in those early days. Its wild to think I've been here off and on for 16 years, I mean, that's half of my life.

The current world status with the pandemic, coupled with some of my own life situations, has left me with a lot of spare time. At first this break I've been on has been wonderful. Completed a few games, caught up with a few things on Netflix and have had actual time to spend with my family. Im ready to go back out into my next adventure though. Took all the money I had and got myself a car. Little nervous bout the future but being back with my folks again has given me time to take things slow. It'd be nice to be active here again, I miss the old days, where I spent so much of my time literally just getting to know people. I don't know why I struggle so much more with that these days. When I was a kid, I cared just a little bit less about what people thought of me so maybe that explains it.

Either way, ima make a noble attempt to get back at it. Ill check around and look for survivors. Its almost as if the forums have entered some sort of "lost age" where everything is still technically active and works but the activity is stagnant. Like an abandoned city after a zombie apocalypse. Keep your heads on out there TFF! :cool:

so uh yeah, shit's been real fucked up the past several years. lost both my folks to cancer back in 2017/2018 respectively, Kyo and I broke up back in 2016 cause she was having wicked bad problems and we ended up not talking for like 4 years but we worked shit out and have become pretty decent friends, moved back to New Hampshire for like two years, got a job running a Dollar Tree, and then on a whim decided to move to Tennessee to pursue a relationship that exploded in my face after less than a week

so... shit's been fun. hasn't been all bad tho, got a decent job, quit smoking cigarettes, graduated from university and got my bachelor's degree in computer science (for all the fucking good it's done me lol) and can uh... I guess make NES games written in 6502 ASM now

so yeah, recent events and down time to think got me feeling nostalgic and despite me keeping up with a few folks via facebook I wanted to pop in and see how things were going here. figured a few of y'all were still around and it appears I was right.

Hi.

So, a ton of crap has happened.

Some crap is good. It shows that you have processed stuff/are in the action of processing stuff.
A whole dump truck full of crap...eh...maybe not so much. I mean, it feels like it just continues to pile up, and my shovel has been taken from me, and instead I was handed a teaspoon.

So there's that.

The last time I wrote in this was nearly fourteen months ago. It's not that I didn't have anything to write about. It is just that really good has happened that I wanted to write about. Well, maybe some good things. But the human being is prone to focus on the negative, which causes the positive stuff to become muted amongst all of the negative stuff. In the last entry, I quit the cleaning crew at work. I had gotten a Jeep. I had a puppy named Luke. To update on that, the cleaning crew ended up being a flop. After I quit, the whole team was put under a microscope. After all, what would cause a good worker, liked and respected by several main people at GE, to just up and quit like that? They remaining people managed another month or so, and their shady dealings were found out. One such event in particular involved the supervisor doing more than just cleaning. In fact, let's just say she was cleaning a LOT more than the floors when she was under the tables, heh heh. I was brought in for some questioning to corroborate the things they had learned, and they fired the entire cleaning crew staff as a result. Another contractor came in and rehired half of them temporarily. Then 80% of them were re-fired just recently. Now, only two of the people I worked with on the cleaning crew remain as staff members.

The Jeep is a piece of junk. I wrecked in it back in December, when I slid on ice. The tires were stupidly oversized, and I couldn't control it. Then it seems like everything on it was old, rusty, and falling apart. I was only getting 200 miles per tank of gas. I did manage to go to Massachusetts and back in it, but it is junk. The motor blew a couple months ago. My brother said that he would replace it. But it has been two months, and still no Jeep. So, that makes two vehicles to die under my care. My Mom's Honda is still sitting in my driveway, and one day she will pick it up. I am buying a Chevy Cavalier, in which I owe $1,375 for it. My boss fixed it up and is taking money out of my check to pay for it.

Luke is doing good. He got sick with parvo once, and nearly died (I don't remember if I had told you this). And then this year the crazy neighbor I have decided to go on Facebook and slam me for "mistreating" him. She posted my address and took pictures of my house and everything. I had people saying that they were going to steal him from me, and punish me, and kill me. I called the police about it, and was told that they can't do anything about stuff that happens online, but would send an officer to the house anyway. He ended up saying that he talked to the neighbor, but nothing really came of it. So, I had to go on the defensive and prove that my dog was not being harmed. It sucked, because I hate confrontation. But some people just need to be schooled. If I keep coming back to update this, I will go into more detail.

My three fish have died. They were old. I miss them, because they were my original pets here. I also have two cats. I did have three, but one wasn't really mine. He was the neighborhood cat who simply stayed here from time to time. It was sad to see him claimed by another family, and I hope he is happy with them. I will flood this blog with pictures of Kitten and Punk in a future entry.

I am working at the newspaper again. I needed some extra money, so I asked for my job back. They were glad to give it to me. I don't have my full route back, but what I do have pays for my gas in the car each week.

And that is where all the crap originates. Money. I don't like being one of those people that says I need more money, but I do. I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about money. But the paperwork went through to buy the house I am living in. So instead of $450 per month for rent, I am paying $600 house payments to own this craphole in full. It sucks, because I already have put so much into owning this house that I would be stupid to just walk away from it. And with bills, and the new car, it just feels too much.

So I am trying to earn extra money however I can. I have even considered being a male sex cam model, or offering my body to people willing to pay. That is how bad it is. And sure, I have joked about doing that stuff before (maybe not on here), but it is a definite possibility at this point. I have had offers recently, but I have always been too scared to go through with it.

So, here's banking that my YouTube channel finally takes off! HAHAHA! Yeah, like that will happen.

I am still doing that transcribing and translating for mTurk. And I was accepted to do those things for Rev.com as well. The only problem is finding the time after work to do it. I just feel so tired when I come home that I can't. And then I am earning money using an app called Blast. It pays me to play and complete missions for mobile games. The pay isn't much, and it takes about two weeks for it to arrive, but it actually is legit. Plus, it acts as a savings account as well, and will pay interest for keeping the money in your account each month. I wish I was a paid sponsor for it, because it is really nice. I have $63.15 saved up at the moment (I have earned $91.14 in total since downloading it), and I plan on using that money to pay for Christmas shopping.

There is so much more I need to get off my chest, but I am going to leave for now. I want to play the PS4 for a bit before I go help my boyfriend with his work. So, until then...

Later!

Michael

Remember those times I would start a thread, titled something like "TFF Confessions," or "TFF Regrets," or something along those lines? Like, I would decide I wanted to come clean about something, and then, for whatever reason, I thought that other people on the forums would also want to do this. Except usually, people would just respond with nonsense, making fun of the concept, because y'all are trolls, lol :P Was reminded of those earlier, for some reason. I guess because a guest was viewing a thread called "TFFers you hate" or "don't like," or something like that.

I guess this is a blog instead of a thread because I know better than to make a thread like this, now :P You can still respond to this if you want, I guess. Obviously. I don't really have the power to stop you...

But yeah, my thought when I saw the title of the thread that the guest was looking at, I thought, "...did someone say something about me?" And so I looked, lol. So insecure. Not as insecure as I used to be, by a lot (I hope), but there was still something inside me that was like, "I would like to be angry about something that I can't respond to, at this point." Because reasons.

I recently told an old user to "eat shit, fuckface," if he ever saw that thread. I could start going off on that person here, but I don't feel like that would be productive. Suffice to say I never really liked that person, and always found him to be full of himself and an overtly opinionated asshole. At certain points, I think I tried to get along with him, but those times didn't last very long, and I decided pretty much to just avoid talking to him. By the time I had seen what he said about me, it was years after he said it (posts on the internet are forever, unless they're not). I shouldn't have cared, but I felt this burning sensation rising up my spine to my head. I was talking to Dodie at the time, and she told me, "don't worry about what he thinks. He doesn't know you." She was right. But here I am, recalling it. Again.

I have all these memories of various exchanges I've had on this website, that pissed me off at the time. When I remember them, I get all pissed off, again. Part of the problem was that I never fully leveled my opinions at those people. I kept them to myself, because I was worried about warnings, or what other people would think, or--dumbest of all--the other person getting upset with me. I didn't want people to be mad at me. And I wanted everyone to play nice. For fuck sake, that was a fucking pointless, stupid, wasted effort on my part. People still didn't like me, I still didn't like people, and no one was going to play nice, regardless. All it probably did was make me look worse, because essentially, I was two-faced, that way. I should've just told people what I thought of them, there in that moment. It's usually what I do on Twitter now, if I engage. Most of the time, afterward, I don't think about it anymore, and if I do, I'm like, "YEAH. I'm GLAD I let them know how it is!"

Of course, there's the opposite problem of letting your emotions run away with you, and telling someone off when they don't deserve it, because it's actually YOU who is in the wrong...

When I was in the Air Force, I tried really hard, like on here, to make sure no one got mad at me. I tried not to get in trouble. Guess how well that worked in Basic? lol... I was one of the people singled out in my flight, because I was always so anxious about getting shit right, that not only would I fuck it up anyway, I would fuck it up at the slowest pace of the entire flight (I also had an as-of-yet untreated anxiety disorder, but yeah). So I thought I was trash. Then I got to Tech School, and I barely moved or talked when I was around other people there, because I was still super scared of getting into trouble. The School House Instructors went over my whole class, describing our personalities. When they got to me, they were like, "...and [Taco] just stands there..." and that was it, lol. The one time I DID talk in the hallway, I immediately got caught... and everyone, including the instructor, just laughed at it being the ONE TIME that I talked in the hallway.

When I first got to my Active Duty base, in Arkansas, I was so well-behaved, lol. The NCOs would point me out to the other newcomers, and be like, "see [Taco]? Notice how he's only been called out TWICE since he got here, and both times were for GOOD reasons?" See, the thing about my office was, not only were there a few newcomers who were always getting in to trouble, there were also at least three NCOs (two or two and a half, depending upon how you count it) who got demoted back to airmen while I was there. My first supervisor got demoted back to Senior Airman, and then kicked out. The other NCOs that didn't get demoted... weren't exactly model citizens, either. I'd sit at my desk right next to theirs, as they bitched for hours about their superiors--which led me to believe that that was an okay thing to do, heh... Regardless, after the first few months, I started to think my shit didn't stink, in that office. I was even put up for Airman Below the Zone, a program for early promotion to Senior Airman.

The reality was, however, that, due to my anxiety disorder, as well as being thousands of miles from home, and relying way too much on Dodie for my happiness, that I was having a kind of nervous breakdown. When Dodie broke up with me that November, that was the worst month of my life (at least up until that point). I had put forth quite a bit of effort to make things work with her parents, to try to not offend them, and to make sure they liked me. If I had frustrations with them, I didn't voice them. Well, there were things about me that they just weren't going to like, such as drinking. There were also expectations they had of me that I had no idea of, until I didn't meet them, like going on family outings I was invited to that weekend, as opposed to what I wanted to do, which was just relax with Dodie at their house, until I had to go back. Eventually, they totally flipped out at me, and said I was unwelcome to stay at their house. One of the principle reasons was that, instead of talking to them about something, I called my mom first, and one of their daughters overheard my conversations with my mom. Dodie sided with them (also because I was pressuring her too much to get married too soon, because I was super lonely and had terrible separation anxiety whenever I had to leave), and broke up with me shortly thereafter. That was my first instance of learning that, try as hard as I might, some people are just going to hate me. So I was broken for a while.

At some point in the following months, I was noticing one of my coworkers wasn't doing his job as fast or correct as my other coworker and I. As a result, we would all get in trouble, because we were a "team." I had actually told off the other coworker at one point, and he took what I said to heart, so I figured I could do the same with this coworker. He did not take well to it, however, and we started bickering a lot. This attracted the attention of the NCOs, who sided with this other coworker. At one point, our supervisor, the section chief, my two coworkers and I were all in a room together, and the two NCOs were lecturing us about working together or some nonsense. It was then that I just let the NCOs have it. I told both of them off for putting us in this situation, for giving what I considered preferential treatment to the one coworker, and also for putting unwarranted abuse on the other coworker (which was also going on). To my surprise, I did not immediately burst into flames. So I decided, "it's okay to just tell people off!" (spoiler: it wasn't). Over the following months, there was trend of the abuse formerly dropped on the one coworker, switching over to me. Every disagreement I had with anyone, the NCOs and other upper leadership would immediately side with the other party, and I would get a lecture about my behavior. Eventually it was so bad that I decided I would just stop interacting with anyone unless I had to. That didn't work, either, and (due to my own attempts to make it happen), I am now in my second year of not being in the Air Force.

The biggest thing that experience taught me was that, regardless of what I do, some people are not going to like me, and some people are just going to be assholes. Which brings me back around to my earlier thought that I wish I had just let people know what I thought, here on TFF, back in the day.

Except that I've also learned that you have to pick and choose your battles. There are times when it's worth it, and there are times when it's not. I chose to battle nearly EVERY time, that one year in the Air Force. That didn't go well for me. Things went a bit better when I interacted as little as possible, but at that point, I think the stage was already set for what was to happen.

There are people who are in control, and there are people who are not. In every situation. Even at the lowest levels you can imagine. Being in the Air Force, the only thing I could control was how I reacted to stuff. Really, that's still the case, now that I'm out of the Air Force. That's pretty much the case for everyone: we can only control ourselves. We can't control how the other person is going to act. Trying to do so is pointless.

Blah blah blah, life lessons with Tele, for some reason.

So 2017 was kinda a rough year for most people not named Taylor Swift, eh? (Jeez, Taylor. Way to have a good time. That’s not allowed, or something.) American politics are shit, everyone hates each other, and people seem barely capable of not hitting each other over the heads with bike locks, or ramming their cars into each other.

Personally, I drifted further into burnt out/not-giving-a-fuck territory this year, even though this is arguably the easiest year I’ve lived, this decade. I didn’t work at all (although I wanted to) I got mostly A’s or A-‘s for the classes I took, and one B, because I was too lazy to get an A in that class. I put shit off until the last minute, practically went without reading entire books that were required reading for my classes, and, by the end of the year, have spent many days entirely without getting dressed or taking a shower. It’s been easy, but I feel like shit for being this way, because just last year, I was in the Air Force and actually putting effort into life. It doesn’t help that I’m also now the fattest I’ve ever been. It could be that my medication is too high and making me too lethargic, I dunno, but something needs to change this year.

So what about music? Music was pretty alright. There have been a handful of tracks I’ve really enjoyed, and some albums I’ve thought were rather good. Will I remember them with the same fondness I remember tracks and albums from, say, 2011 or 2013? We’ll see. In any case, the following is a list of the UNDISPUTED, BEST TEN ALBUMS OF 2017… according to me. Right now. Some time, next year? I can’t promise I will feel the same. But RIGHT. NOW…

Number 10. The Menzingers – After the Party

I was aware of the Menzingers for a bit before I paid them any mind. I got their fourth album, “Rented World,” when it came out in 2014, and thought it was pretty solid, a good album for a Summer day. However, for whatever reason, I wasn’t super in to any of the songs, though I distinctly remember “Where Your Heartache Exists.” I really liked that song at first, but then decided I didn’t by the end of the year, and I’m not really sure why. I guess I’m just a fickle piece of shit.

This year’s album, “After the Party,” I decided I was getting when I heard the first single, “Bad Catholics.” I’m a Catholic. I’m often amused when comedians, musicians, or anyone else talks about being Catholic. However, that song kinda wore out on me. The rest of the album had staying power for me, though. I realized that a friend of mine would really like this album, so I played it for him, and he bought it. We’re not always big on the same music—there’s usually just an occasional crossover, and the rest of the time, we’re like, “eh, that’s alright,” about the other’s preferred tracks—so this is kinda a big deal as far as our tastes go.

Standout Track: “Lookers”

Number 9. William Patrick Corgan – Ogilala

A few years ago, Billy Corgan had announced that, from now on, he wanted to be referred to as “William Patrick Corgan.” Shortly after this album was released, however, I read that he’s once again referring to himself as “Billy Corgan.” Perhaps that makes more sense, as it’s the name he became famous with, along side his band “The Smashing Pumpkins.” Not a lot about Corgan always makes sense to me, however. When one reads one of his blogs, one might ask oneself, “…wut?” When one hears about one of his many rantings over the years, one might again ask oneself, “…wut?” Corgan is very much this generation’s exemplar “eccentric artiste,” but not just because of his eccentricities: he is also a brilliant musician. Maybe not the best singer, but a great musician. So pretty much, I had decided, “whatever crazy shit he does, whatever obnoxious, egotistical thing he says, I will always like Corgan.” And then he went on the Joe Rogan show and said that a lot of it was an act.

…I don’t even, any more.

This solo album seems to be a continuation of what he was doing last year, when he was playing stripped down, acoustic versions of his songs, Smashing Pumpkins or otherwise. I got to see his show the last weekend that I was in the Air Force, down in Little Rock, AR, because he gave a special deal to members of the Armed Forces. It was an amazing show, both musically and visually, as he performed in front of these painted backdrops with moving lights and such. That show was the reason I realized that “Soma” is a pretty awesome song, in fact, and I had first heard that song about sixteen years beforehand, when I first got in to the Pumpkins—right before they broke up.

I’m not sure what to say about this album, though. I like it, but not a lot of it stands out to me. There’s an acoustic version of “The Spaniards” on this, which is a pretty awesome song. Really, the album is a bit of a mesmerizing, acoustic soundscape, in which Corgan’s musicianship really shines (if that nonsense I just typed really means anything, and isn’t just cliché). Again, Corgan is the exemplar of our generation’s “eccentric artiste.”

Standout Track: “Aeronaut”

Number 8. Mastodon – Emperor of Sand

I didn’t listen to this one until half a year after it came out. Even then, I haven’t listened to it much at all. That’s somewhat similar, for me, for Mastodon as a whole. When I first saw them perform on some late show or another, I didn’t think I liked them. It didn’t help that one of the biggest douchebags I’ve ever interacted with online also gave them high praises. However, for some reason, I decided to buy “Once More ‘Round the Sun,” their 2014 album. It was pretty awesome, although I’m not sure that I listened to it in its entirety, either; I just really liked their single, “The Motherload.” They tend to have some longish songs, so maybe that rubs me the wrong way.

I might have totally forgotten about this album, but I decided to listen to it again, tonight… and I cannot deny that it’s a well-constructed, great-sounding album. The guys in Mastodon are obviously very talented musicians, and I love that one of their band members got kicked out of the 2014 Grammys, because I cannot stand the Grammys. I feel like the Grammys are not a celebration of the best music of the year, but rather a celebration of the music that most benefited from payola and the “artists’” good looks. So that dude getting himself kicked out forever makes him awesome in my book.

Standout Track: “Precious Stones” (I guess… I’m not really sure)

Number 7. Gwar – The Blood of Gods

Back in the 90s, when I was a little kid, and my brother was going to college and living in the dorms, he borrowed my copy of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. His roommate had a file in which he obliterated the game, and he had named it “Gwar.” I asked my brother, “What is ‘Gwar?’” I don’t exactly recall his answer, but I seem to remember thinking they were some crazy rock band or another. Years later, I saw their video for “Fucking an Animal,” and thought they seemed pretty fun, but for some reason, I never got into them (and given what I was listening to at the time, I probably would’ve really liked the album “Fucking an Animal” came from). In the back of my head, though, I’m pretty sure I always thought “Gwar is probably pretty cool.”

Eventually, I did decide to start listening to them, due to their cover of “Carry On, My Wayward Son,” because obviously, there was a strong sense of humor to them. I got “Scumdogs of the Universe,” and was like, “this alright,” but what really hooked me was the album that came out later that year, “Battle Maximus.” It was far more brutal than anything else I had heard by them up until that point, and it just totally kicked ass. From there, I went back and listened to more of their older stuff, including “We Kill Everything” (the one “Fucking an Animal” was off of, and the one a lot of their fans apparently don’t like). …and then Dave Brockie (aka “Oderus Urungus,” the lead singer and sole remaining founding member, at that point) died of an overdose. Not only had the band just gone through an unexpected, tragic death of Cory Smoot, the final performer of “Flattus Maximus,” but they had lost the central, driving force of the band, up until that point. Most people thought they were done. Even when Michael Bishop (aka “Blowthar,” and the original “Beefcake the Mighty”) filled in for Brockie, I didn’t think they’d do another album, and wasn’t sure how much longer they would last.

However, in October, they came out with “The Blood of Gods.” Is it as good as “Battle Maximus,” or the album before that, “Bloody Pit of Horror?” …eh, I dunno. It’s very different from those two albums, and seems closer to what they were doing around the time of “We Kill Everything.” Also, a few of the songs ended up irritating me, upon repeated listenings. I still like it, however (or else it wouldn’t be on here, I suppose.) It gets bonus points for featuring MC Chris, too. Also bonus points for being a Gwar album, when I wasn’t sure if we’d ever get another Gwar album.

Standout Track: "Viking Death Machine"

Number 6. Flatfoot 56 – Odd Boat

Flatfoot 56 were the opening act for one of my more recent favorite bands, “Larry and His Flask,” in March this year. I had never heard of them, much less heard them, before I saw them at that show, and that show was the first time I ever saw Larry and His Flask live (I had bought tickets for a show in November of last year, but hadn’t been able to go). I’m actually not sure if I even knew that there was going to be an opening act, so I wasn’t exactly excited to see them. Furthermore, their van broke down, so they were like a few hours late, which in turn caused the show to start an hour and a half or so later than expected. So I was a little annoyed, as were the rest of the people waiting.

They made up for it with an awesome show. It turned out they were a folk punk band with bagpipes on several of their songs (and some other folk instrument I forget on their other songs). The dude with the bagpipes fascinated me, with the faces he made and his dancing, or whatever it was. The lead singer also had a unique voice; deep and gravelly, though consistently on key. They impressed me enough that I bought their newest CD, and I don’t normally buy CDs anymore, I just get mp3 albums, or whatever. Very fun album, and I don’t think it has any swearing, even on the opening track, in which they tell about one of the meanest baseball players ever (which was almost my choice for standout track, but…)

Standout Track: “Stutter”

Number 5. Pet Symmetry – Vision

Pet Symmetry started as a collaboration between members of the band “Dowsing” (whom I’ve never heard) and solo act “Into It. Over It.” (which I have one album of, but wasn’t super crazy about). I got their initial single on Asian Man Records (and usually, you won’t go wrong with a band signed by Mike Park) and thought their two songs with obnoxiously long titles were pretty alright. I was excited for their first album, “Pets Hounds,” although upon going back and comparing it with this year’s offering, I feel it’s quite a bit weaker. There were only four tracks that really stand out to me anymore (and even back then, the rest of the album bled together, to me). What’s more, some songs seemed to abruptly end.

“Vision” is their most rockin’ album to date. Furthermore, each track more or less has a distinct sound to it, and none of it blends together at all, really. The first three tracks are very energetic and catchy, the fourth is slow, but still amusing, and the fifth is energetic and catchy again. Really, this could contend for the four albums that follow it for “number 1 album of 2017, according to me,” except that, although it doesn’t bleed together like the last album, not even my pick for “standout track” particularly stands out from the rest of the tracks as being a song I will remember years later. Though it’s still pretty catchy and fun.

Standout Track: “Stare Collection”

Number 4. Dead Cross – (Self-Titled)

Growing up, my eldest brother was always a fan of Faith No More. One of my earliest memories is of the music video for “Epic,” and the goldfish flipping around out of its water bowl. I was highly concerned about that goldfish, so my brother told me it got back in the water after the video was finished filming. Later, my brother had a poster for their album, “King for a Day,” and it was scary to me. I didn’t decide I wanted to listen to them until years later, when my brother made me a mixed CD, with “Surprise! You’re Dead!” on it. By that time, the band had long since broken up, and Mike Patton was doing his numerous projects and/or collaborating with other bands.

I guess Dead Cross is some kind of super band that Patton was gonna release on his label, and then the singer dropped out, so he did the vocals for them, too. The other members are Dave Lombardo—former drummer of Slayer, and also current drummer of Suicidal Tendencies and the Misfits, apparently—and two guys from a band I’ve never heard of before, “Retox.” The album’s songs sound as if they were originally written with Patton on the vocals, but Patton arrived after they were all written. Perhaps it’s because Patton has such a distinct voice. Also, he seems to never age. He looks almost exactly like he did in the 90s. Regardless, yeah, pretty awesome album.

Standout Track: “Divine Filth”

Number 3. Goldfinger – The Knife

Goldfinger were at the Warped Tour this year, and they were fuckin’ awesome. Definitely one of the highlights of the day, along with Gwar and Save Ferris. My bro and I totally did NOT know that MxPx front man Mike Herrera is in the band now, so that was quite a surprise to see him up there with them (actually, it sounded like the only remaining original member was John Feldmann, their front man). In any case, I’m not sure that I’ve ever actually owned one of their albums before this new one, “The Knife.” I have a Best of somewhere, and possibly their first one, the self-titled album. My brother had like their first four albums, so I think I heard all of those, but really, they kinda fell off the map for me after that.

This new album is really good, though. It’s a lot of fun, and a throwback to the Summer of Ska in the late 90’s (which to me was like three years: 96-98). Even though they don’t have a horn section (they borrowed Save Ferris’s for one song on their set at Warped) there’s a lot of horns on this album. It’s just a catchy, poppy, ska-punk album. I’ve read some comments that it was over-produced, but whatevs; I don’t get that at all from it.

Standout Track: “Don’t Let Me Go”

Number 2. The Dreadnoughts – Foreign Skies

The Dreadnoughts have been around for a minute. You may have heard them in some video game. I haven’t, but a coworker claimed they were. I cannot find any evidence of this online. Whatevs!

I first discovered them via their album “Polka’s Not Dead.” The concept of a polka-punk sound intrigued me, so I bought it. They only seem to have a few polka-esque songs, however; they’re mostly a folk-punk band. “Polka Never Dies” is still my favorite songs by them, and one of my favorites of the decade thus far (yeah, yeah, “the decade didn’t actually start until 2011, and the album that song was on came out in 2010.” I hear that, but I offer this argument: shut up.) I’ve never gone back to anything they did before then, but I probably should. Also, they claimed they were breaking up the year I discovered them, apparently, but then they didn’t, and I didn’t know about that until I read it on Wikipedia just now. So yeah.

This new album is quite a departure from “Polka’s Not Dead,” or even the 2011 EP “Uncle Touchy Goes to College” that followed it. It’s a much more seriously-toned album than either of those—especially “Polka’s Not Dead.” It’s a bit slower, a bit more thematic, and a bit more traditional than those were. Because of this, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it at first. The album did grow on me quite a bit, however, after successive listens. My favorite track, “Anna Maria,” stood out to my in particular, as it had such an epic feel. The sentimental part of me also quite liked “Black Letters,” but yeah; “Anna Maria” is where it’s at.

Standout Track: “Anna Maria”

Number 1. Authority Zero – Broadcasting to the Nations

The first album I’d ever heard by Authority Zero was previous album, “The Tipping Point.” I had heard them before, I realized, however. They did that “One More Minute” song, way back in 2005, that got a bit of radio time. Hadn’t caught my attention back then, but sampling “The Tipping Point,” they struck me as the type of 90’s Skate Punk music I wanted to listen to. They also have some ska elements to their sound, as well as some kind of Southwestern Border feel, particularly in the aforementioned “One More Minute.” (they’re from Mesa, Arizona). Not salsa, but somewhat Latin.

“Broadcasting to the Nations” seems a bit more melancholic than “The Tipping Point,” which had a lot of punk tracks that seemed to say “let’s go get ‘em!” I’m particularly thinking of tracks like “Creepers,” “One Way Track Kid,” and “No Guts No Glory,” which are 3 of 4 tracks that end the album. Mind you, these tracks are still a lot of fun, as is the rest of the album. It just seems that in this album, Authority Zero has a bit less faith that “this is our time to take a stand,” or whatever. I do think that I like this album a bit better than the last one, too (although I feel like there was more competition for my attention in 2013).

Standout Track: “No Guts No Glory”


Honorable Mentions:
Chuck Berry – Chuck (also probably the best you will hear a 90-year-old sing/perform);
Municipal Waste – Slime and Punishment (also at Warped Tour, wherein the lead singer requested some drugs, because Oregon);
Jonathan Coulton – Solid State (writer of "Still Alive" and "Want You Gone" does a concept album);
Foo Fighters – Concrete and Gold (not as good as "Wasting Light," but alright. Lotsa Beatles-sounding songs)

I know the title may make you think that I am quitting this site, but trust me, I'm not.

I quit working for Aetna Building Integrations. After 3.5 months of working my butt off, I found out what kind of person the boss is, and decided that I couldn't do it any longer. I can't work for people who preach teamwork, but then when it comes down to it, is only thinking about themselves. I tried to stick it out and hope that it would change for the better, but it didn't and it wasn't going to. So, I got out before I was too far in and unable to get out without permanent damage to my professional self.

You see, with me working two full-time jobs, I was more tired than ever before. But my body was adjusting to it. I was put in charge of cleaning a building by myself. It was a large building, but I am not sure of the specific size. Anyway, I would do as much as I could in the eight hours I was given. But then someone complained that I wasn't doing a good job. So, I tried harder. Then someone complained I wasn't cleaning fast enough. So, I cleaned faster. Then it wasn't good enough. Then fast enough. And so on.

Then the main boss got angry, and my supervisor had to step in and start inspecting my building. But she didn't inspect it when I was finished with the building for the night. No, she would come by at random times, usually when I was nowhere near finished. She would mark the inspection forms as bad, because she said that she "has to find at least one thing wrong so she can send it in without the main people getting suspicious." Like, what? You have to make me look bad, so it makes you look like you are doing your job? Seriously?!

On top of that, she would also write notes to the boss, lying about why I wasn't getting my building done. I apparently told her flat-out that I wasn't going to do it (which was not true at all). I apparently told her that I was too tired to do it (which was true, because it was my first week, and my body was still adjusting to the extra work). And so, I was written for insubordination. I asked about this when I was filling out the forms saying I understood why I was being written up. I asked if it was still insubordination for not being able to finish due to the no overtime rule. I was told I should have cleaned faster.

I was told that I was a good worker. I was told that despite being a good worker, I could not be trusted to do a job alone. So, I was given a babysitter to make sure I did the work. Now, in my opinion, and maybe you can correct me on this, but if you can't trust someone to do a job, then that person is not a good worker. I mean, what will happen if that person's partner gets sick, or quits? So, no, if you can't be trusted alone, then you aren't a good worker. Right?

It was that trust thing that struck me the hardest. I know I wasn't doing a perfect job. I admit that. But I was doing the absolute best I could in the time I was given. But to say I couldn't be trusted to do the job hurt me more than anything I have ever felt pain for in my life, because it was hurting my character. I can be punched or beaten, and I will get right back up again. But a blow to my character, to who I am as person, is a line I don't allow people to cross.

I tried to stick it out, even after all of that. I managed to make to lunch break. And then in the lunch room...

I handed my supervisor my ID badge. I said, "I won't be needing this anymore. I quit." And then I walked out and didn't look back. I walked all the way to my Jeep (oh, by the way, I own a Jeep now), drove to the front gate, and signed myself out. The guard at the gate and I chatted a few moments, because he went and backed me up after I left the meeting. I told him I would be back in a few hours for first shift (because I only quit the cleaning crew, not GE Aviation as a whole), got back in my Jeep, and went home, where I sleep better than I had in months.

So, I am down to one job now. I have already been putting out feelers for more work. Two of the other subcontractor companies at GE are looking at me in case one of their workers quits, and now that I can drive and have my own vehicle, I can easily find something part-time to help as well. So, all is good.

In other news...

I have a puppy. His name is Luke, and he is one of the puppies Luca had before she died.

I have three goldfish. One of my cleaning crew coworkers wasn't able to care for them anymore, so I took them in. They are named Spooky (he's white), Zombie, and Ciel.

I have two vehicles in my name. Mom's Honda Civic (it doesn't run at the moment), and my Jeep that I bought for $900.

Well, that's about it for now. I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

My roommate/ our best friend died on Friday.

I'm the one who found him and I'm beyond heartbroken and traumatized.

I don't understand. I should've checked on that stupid son of a bitch sooner. Maybe I could've saved him.

I don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself or shake off the guilt. I can't eat, I've hardly slept, I can't stop crying and it's getting worse since the shock's worn off.

He drove me up the Goddamn wall with his bitching over dumb shit and minor stupidity, but I loved him all the same. He was basically my fiance's brother, so he was mine too.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I just don't know how I'm supposed to handle this. And now I have so many more things I have to think and worry about and I'm just not prepared for any of it. I can't handle this.

I know the bad grammar in the title, but I don't care. I am too tired to do so.

I quit working at the Messenger. Actually, quit is too harsh a word for it. I was there for more than a decade, so I didn't quit. I resigned. It seems more dignified. More professional. I resigned from my position at the Messenger. After last week's route where I didn't finish it because I ran out of time and had to be at GE, I realized that I couldn't do it any longer. Better for them to find someone who can devote the time to do it than have me do it and receive complaints for not receiving papers. Plus, I just felt it was time to move on. I have spent one-third of my life delivering newspapers, and it just wasn't fun anymore. And that is probably the worst part. The second-worst part is that I am actually losing money each week by leaving. Here's the rundown:

Position	Before	After
Messenger	$105	$0
HVAC	$352	$440
Aetna	$360	$360
Total	$817	$800

That is all before taxes and other costs. So, I am actually losing $17 each week by leaving. But when you factor in the gas required for the route, it makes more sense to leave the newspaper, because my other two jobs are at the same place, and then with me napping in my car from 6am-7am, I am saving money I would otherwise be spending on gas to go home and back to work.

But yeah, I am no longer a paperboy. And the seemingly good part is that Larry and Tonya and really understanding about it. They said that if I feel tired, I can even leave in the afternoon to get some sleep. Of course, I am going to try to push myself to reach working HVAC 8 hours each day, because it wouldn't make sense to not do so after changing who I have been for the last decade. But I also know that I am no use to anybody if I get sick or hurt from being tired all the time, so I will only do what I believe I am capable of.

Well, I am going to end this one here. I have told myself that I want to spend my time at home doing fun things, and lying in bed is not fun, not after sleeping in it for the last 16 hours (I really was tired). So, I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

I apologize for not writing more often. I had plenty to write about, but I just haven't had time to do it. The reason being that work has been brutal lately. For a couple weeks, we would arrive at 7am (the normal starting time), and not leave until midnight or later. Thankfully, the project that kept us working late is finally finished. It gave me a lot of overtime pay (I had a check of $600+ one week, as opposed to my normal being just under $300). But it also gave me some body conditioning for what I will be putting myself through starting tomorrow.

You see, I have taken another job. I may have mentioned it before, but I forget. Anyway, to refresh yours and my memories...

A few months ago, I saw in the newspaper that Aetna Integrated Services was hiring for a third-shift cleaning position. Now, Aetna is a company that I have worked with on projects for my HVAC work. They have a cleaning crew at GE that runs third-shift. I wasn't for sure it was for the same crew that works at GE, but I had a gut feeling that it was. I applied for the job, just to see if it was worth working there. It turns out I was right. Anyway, a few weeks ago, I heard back from the guy in charge, and scheduled the new hire interview. That interview was this past Thursday. And I start Monday night.

Well, technically, I started that Thursday, because I am being paid for the time I was in the interview. And tomorrow I have to go in for my new GE badge, and orientation. My first actual shift with the cleaning crew is Monday night.

And what is it I will be doing with my days, you wonder? Well, I will be at GE, working my HVAC job.

And what about Thursdays? For now, I will be continuing my paper route. However, it is highly likely that I will be quitting that.

So, that wraps that up. Except for the last part.

I have been thinking of quitting my paper route for some time now. It just doesn't fit me anymore. And that is a scary thought. Ever since Iris quit, I have been considering doing the same. But I am still doing it. Why, you ask? The amount of money is greater in that one day than I am making at one day with the HVAC work. After all, $105 (paper route) > $88 (HVAC - before taxes) > $72 (Aetna - before taxes). However, my heart is no longer in it. It isn't fun. I thought it would be easier to do my route now that I live in town. I thought it would be easier to do my route now that I can drive a car. But now all I do is wait around until it is nearly midnight to deliver the papers. I spend my Thursdays in my underwear at the house, more concerned with playing video games than actually doing what I am paid to do that day.

But the one thing really binding me to the job is time. Leaving now would mean that I didn't complete a full final year, and that bugs me more than anything else. I want to be able to say that I worked somewhere for eleven years. I can't just say, "Oh, I delivered papers for ten years, and nine months." That will bother me forever. And yeah, I could easily just round up, because who would know. I would know.

Anyway...

I have turned in the creeper van. I now drive Mom's car. On paper, it is my car. However, it has been nothing but a headache ever since it was put in my name. It has already caught on fire once. It had been sitting since last August, so I figure not running for so long caused some stuff to rust or disintegrate or something. My brother got it running again (after four days of nagging him about it - I have had the car five days, just to put in perspective my situation), but it needs parts that he can't get until tomorrow. He says that it will get me to work in the morning, so I hope he is right.

In other news...

I have earned two Platinum trophies on PSN. Taco Master, and Zero Time Dilemma. I highly recommend the latter, especially if you have played either 999 or Virtue's Last Reward or both (please play all of the games in the series). It is the first time I have actually spent a considerable amount of time playing video games in quite a while. I mean, I usually play Overwatch with friends on Saturdays, but that is about it. My Lazy SunPlays on YouTube are something I seem to be too lazy to do sometimes. So, to finally finish not one, but two games, feels really amazing. I am going to try and make it three tonight, and finish the trophy list for [I]Thomas was Alone[I] as well as the DLC for the game (Benjamin's Flight, or whatever it's called).

Well, that's about it for now. I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

So last night, I was in bed at nearly 1am, resting after a romp around the bedroom with a friend, when I received a message on my phone from a different friend. He initially tried calling me, but I don't answer the phone after 9pm, so I simply messaged him back asking what was up. He asked if I had a vehicle, because he was needing picked up in Hillsboro (about 30 miles away). He was at the sheriff's department, and needed a ride home, because his car had been impounded. I asked him for gas money, and he told me he would have it tomorrow (er, today). I was still feeling the adrenaline pumping through my system from the fun I had earlier, but I got some clothes on, and made my way to the police station.

The journey there was okay, and I wasn't as scared to drive through the dark as I thought I'd be. I made use of my new skill, in which I learned how to turn the high beams on. I never had to make use of them before last night, so I was never shown how to do it. Anyway, I figured it out, and made it there in one piece.

My friend sat down in the seat, and he seemed to still be in shock about what happened. He said that he was pulled over for a broken taillight, and when the police officer ran his license, he learned that his license had been suspended. I didn't inquire as to why that had happened, because I figured it was best to stay quiet. We spent a large portion of the ride in silence. I am not a huge talker, especially with people I don't see on a regular basis. But we did manage to catch each other up on what had happened to each other over the last year (we never hung out much, despite living only a couple miles apart). And when we arrive back to where he lives (which is down the hill from my Grandma), he said that I could drop him off near his house. You see, his car was actually his Mom's car, and I guess he didn't want to be seen coming home in an unfamiliar vehicle. As if coming home without a car is any better. So, I let him out, and made my way back home.

Well, there are other things I could mention about the story, but I don't think my darker thoughts would be appropriate. After all, this is a guy that I have been intimate with before, and my hopes for another round of fun that night are probably unnecessary.

So, I guess I will end it here. I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

Story Time!

I was told to wash the van today by my boss. I was not excited about it at all, because on Thursdays I work for the newspaper, not GE. Well, I finally got around to it just a little bit ago. I bring all of the supplies to the van, and get ready to begin. Only, there is no water spigot at the back of the house. Just great, I think. I take all of the supplies to the front of the house, and hope that the hose can reach the front driveway. Then I drive the van around front to begin washing it.

As soon as I get the water in the bucket and start rinsing the van off, it starts raining. Wonderful! But I had already started, so I hoped for it to be over quickly, and that it would start back up after everything was all soapy. That way, I wouldn't have to do as much work. So I wash the majority of the van, leaving the top and racks alone because I am not going to do that without a ladder. Everything is all nice and clean on the outside, so I put away the soap and reel the hose back in, and put everything in the shed. Then, I start the van back up, and put it back where I always park it, in the back driveway.

Only, during the time of me washing the van, some idiot goes and parks his car in my driveway! Seriously! Someone had the nerve to enter my property without my permission and park their car in my driveway! Well, wet and sweaty Michael is not having any of that! I lay on the horn and wait. I did stop while they stared at me. I didn't stop as the walked out to the road. Or as they crossed it and entered my property. No, I finally stopped the noise when I was back where I have parked that van since the very first day I had it, in my back driveway. The guy (I don't know his name, because I don't care enough to be a good neighbor) said something to me, but I didn't hear him. It is kind of hard to hear someone talking to you when you are blaring your car horn and shouting in a combination of English, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Italian, Russian, and Icelandic, and some few choices gestures from American Sign Language how much of F-wad they are being for trespassing on your property and using your driveway as a public parking area.

After I am back where things in my world are nice again, I get started with cleaning the inside of the van. I clean the windows, and the dashboard. The doors get cleaned as well. I clean up the floor as well, because I have not taken out the old newspapers in a couple weeks. I even put the seat cover on that I found behind the passenger seat.

It is clean enough to suit my tastes, but I honestly don't care about what my boss thinks about it. What my employer at GE needs to realize is that he is only my boss from 7am to 3:30pm on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. If he wants me to work for him work than that, then he better start paying me more. I mean, the eight hours I work for the Messenger gets me $105 each week, or $13.13 (I rounded up) per hour. Not only that, I get to sleep in on Thursdays, and not have to actually do the work until I decide to. If GE wanted to raise my pay to equal that after taxes are taken out, then maybe I would consider leaving the newspaper. But until then, I am an HVAC technician four days a week, and a bicycling paperboy one day a week.

Well, that's all for now. I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

There is one person in this world I truly pity, and I want to do everything I can to make his life better. It is Autumn's youngest child, Jesse. He is five years old, and has had his little world thrown every which direction there can be during this last month. First his sister goes to live under the supervision of the State, then his grandmother and big brother moves away, and take Jackson (Carma's dog) with them. Then I move out. Luca, who considered Jesse one of her own children, dies. And all he is left with to help him cope with everything happening is his Mom, who is as dependable as using a Post-It Note for an umbrella during a hurricane, and Ben (the boyfriend) who is a good-for-nothing hoodlum that can't even take care of his own kid(s) let alone someone else's.

Every time I visit, Jesse asks me if I am moving back in with him, and asks why I no longer live with him. It breaks my heart to not be able to tell him the entire story, because he wouldn't be able to understand it if I tried. In a way, I was his older brother, and now he no longer has that. He doesn't have anybody to play with now, and I know how it feels to want to play but can't.

So, I want to do special things for him. Today when I was coming home, I decided to keep some of my paycheck this week so I could buy Jesse some little toys and candy for Easter. I went to the place I bought my bed and picked out some Easter eggs, and some paper grass, and a basket. The best part was that the whole thing only cost me 33 cents. I am supposed to go to the Conaway House tomorrow to bring some milk to the puppies, so I think I will also pick up some candy to fill the eggs, and whatever cute toys I can get for him. I think I saw a store selling kites the other day, and I always loved flying a kite during springtime. Maybe get him some bubbles, and a wand. Just something that can occupy him now that he is an only child.

I know it sounds weird, considering how much I loathed the situation I was in, but I think I miss Joey, Makayla, and Jesse. They weren't truly bad kids. They were very loud, and constantly bothered me, but I do care about them as if they were my own siblings. I worry about Joey and his grades, now that I am not there to tutor him. I worry about Makayla, and wonder how she is doing being unable to see any of her family. But most of all, I worry about Jesse, because he was tossed into this whole situation and not able to fully understand it.

So, I am making an Easter basket for a 5-year-old. I think I should have bought a bigger basket, or smaller eggs. Or I need to take out some of the grass. Because not all of the eggs will fit. I even considered leaving some of the eggs out, but what would I use plastic eggs for? It doesn't matter. I will fill them all with candy, and give them to him. I think he will like it.

Well, that's all for now. I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

On Thursday, April 6, 2017, I was driving the van on my business route through the village of Winchester, Ohio. It is literally three stops. Well, I had just left the bank (stop #2), and turned left on the next side street up from the bank so I could make my way back through the village to move on to the one stop on the other side of the main drag. I was going maybe 10-15 miles per hour, when all of a sudden this dog runs right out in front of me, or rather, runs right into the side of the van.

I am freaking out, right. I pull over, but not until after I look through the window to see where I am. The Winchester Police Station. It turns out the dog that hit my van/dog I hit with the van was none other than the K9 unit of their police force.

I jump out and start apologizing profusely. I mean, I am nearly in tears, because first and foremost, I hit a dog with my vehicle. And then on top of that, I hit an officer of the law. Anyway, the two officers tell me that everything seems fine, but they are going to take him for a walk to make sure he isn't hurt.

Here's there side of the story:

The two cops were at the station filling out paperwork or whatever it is police officers do. They decide to go around the village on their rounds, which makes their dog excited. When they opened the door, the dog bolts outside and makes a beeline for the cruiser. Unfortunately, my van got in the path and faceplanted himself into the fender.

Here's the best part. The dog is fine. I am fine. The van is fine. Everyone apologized, and I did not get in trouble for nearly killing a police officer! My sister said it best. "Only you can hurt a cop, and walk away from it with the cops smiling and shaking your hand, and not get in trouble."

I don't want to test out her theory.

Anyway, that's about it. I literally wish, that it sounded more believable. Because it literally sounds like something completely made up. But it is completely true! If you don't believe me, you have my permission to call up the Winchester, Ohio police department, and ask them yourself. Their number is 1-937-695-5502. I am going to go there myself today and ask about the dog. I have been afraid that I made it so he can't work anymore. He looked so happy, and it would kill me to have two dogs to have died so close together.

So, until next time...

Later!

Michael

You all know about my dog, Luca. If not, well, here's a summary:

Way back (Winter 2009) when I and my siblings were living together in our parents' house while they were in prison, my brother was given a dog by the people he was fixing up a house for. The dog was still just a little puppy at the time, and named the puppy Luke. My brother thought it was fitting, because my dog's name was Bo (Bo and Luke, the Duke Boys, ha ha). Anyway, it turns out that Luke was a girl (my brother is a bit of an idiot sometimes), and instead of changing her name to Daisy (another Duke name), Luke became Luca (the boy spelling, and based on the city in Final Fantasy X/X-2).

Fast forward to when Luca had her first litter of puppies. A few months after that, my remaining puppies (I had given away all except Palom and Porom, the twin white puppies) and Bo died of parvovirus or something (I don't know exactly what). But Luca lived. I was torn up for having spent the last seven years with Bo, and add to that the death of the puppies, Mom's cat (attacked by some kind of animal), and my Nana, I was inconsolable. Luca was my comfort. My rock. She became my everything. My brother and sister had at this time left to start their own lives, leaving me with the house to take care of for Mom and Dad. So Luca was all I had, literally.

Luca moved with me to the Carma's. There, she had several more litters of puppies with Carma's black lab, Jackson. We kept a couple of the dogs here and there. It was wonderful to have so many fur babies (I hate calling them that, but the Internet apparently loves it for some reason). Then when all of this stuff happened that caused both Carma and I to leave the house for good, Luca stayed behind while I worked on buying the house I am living in now. It was good, because she could protect the house for Autumn and Ben. Plus, she was pregnant yet again, this time by a Boxer dog down the road. I was so happy! I was a grandpoppy again!

That was two weeks ago.

I have visited Luca every couple of days since I moved out, because I have it in me to think that she will forget me or something. And after the puppies were born, I made it a point to visit even more. When I visited on Friday, she was physically weaker than normal. I attributed it to her puppies milking her dry. I went to the store and got her all of the things she needed to boost her weight. However, I didn't link what I found her doing when I arrived that day to the state her body was in. She was digging a hole.

I received a call on Saturday morning from Ben, saying that Luca had passed away overnight. I got dressed and rushed over there. My thoughts were about the puppies. They were one week old, and they couldn't fend for themselves yet. When I arrived, all five (there were originally six, but one died) were still alive and well. After crying in her doghouse for a bit (I can fit in it comfortably) with the puppies in my arms, I composed myself, put Luca in the van, went into the house and got the puppies some milk. After they sucked the milk off my fingers for a bit, I left them to tend to Luca's burial. I drove into the woods and went to the spot I buried Little Guy (Carma called him Grizz, but he was always Little Guy to me), and got started digging the grave.

While I was digging, I called the local humane society to see what they could do to help. Unfortunately, there was no room at the shelter for the puppies. And even if there was room, they couldn't take them in because of how young they were. A foster family would have to be found that could provide constant care for the five orphans. I am not allowed to have pets here, or I would most definitely have taken them myself. It would be hard, but I would have done it somehow. The humane society said that I would have to call back in two weeks. Until then, I had to find someone that could care for them. Autumn and Ben were reluctant, but agreed to do it providing I paid for the things they would need.

It is hard, you know? I mean, of course you know. Most of you have had a pet yourself, and it truly sucks, because they aren't just a pet. They are family. And Luca was my family, and for a time, she was my only family. But the hardest part is that she will never get to play in this yard or live in this house that I am trying to buy. My whole reason for moving to my boss's property was because one day she and I will have this place for us. I moved here at $450 per month and not be allowed to have her here to one day own it, and turned down the place in the grody part of the village at $400 per month with permission to have her with me, but never actually own the land.

I finally have something to regret. I regret not taking the cheaper place, because it would have meant I could have had more time with her (possibly). I could have been able to take care of her more if she was with me, instead of ten miles away. But all of the wishing and could haves aren't bringing her back.

It seems I am cursed. I can't seem to have a dog for more than seven years. Luca was seven. Bo was seven. Baby (my white Siberian Husky) was seven when he was killed. My first dog, Jake (German Shepherd), was stolen when both he and I were seven (Mom and Dad got him when I was born).

And the worst thing now is all of the people posting stuff about dogs on Facebook and other social media, and I can only think, "Yeah, my dog used to do that silly stuff all the time."

But I am getting through it somehow. I sleep more, because I have lost the motivation to do other things. I still go to work, but sometimes it feels like there's no point. I was only working so I could one day make it so she and I had our own yard to play in. I got my driver's license so I wouldn't have to ride my bike to visit her.

Oh well. Life goes on, and I know that I will one day forget everything that ever made me happy in life, so there's that to look forward to.

Moving on...

My place is really starting to feel like a home (it never will now, but it may get close). I have living room furniture, and a kitchen table and chairs. Today, I bought a bed, because I am physically sick of sleeping on the floor. My chest has been so congested because of me sleeping on the floor. My ribs hurt from the pressure of being on the floor. My back has had no support, so much that I am walking around the house like a 90-year-old man for an hour after waking up. Plus I am waking up every couple of hours in pain. Anyway, what else is there? Oh yeah, my gaming room is finished! I believe I told you that already, but it finished finished. I just haven't had time to use it much. I get on long enough for my tournaments, but that's about it.

I have taken a driving route at the newspaper now that I can drive. It is okay. It is an extra fifty miles of delivering, and I am only getting an extra $35 for it. But I want to help out, and it is extra practice being behind the wheel. My work van is getting the brakes worked on tomorrow, and I am hoping that I will have time to do the driving route. Technically, I am not supposed to use the van for anything other than going to and from GE, but since I am paying for the gas, I want to go where I want to go. Most likely, I will be paying for the repairs tomorrow, and it will be just one more reason for me to keep the driving route.

But honestly, I feel super weird driving it around the towns I go to. I mean, it is a non-descript white van, and we all have heard stories about those kinds of vehicles. Nothing good has ever come from one.

Well, I have to go to bed. It is Thursday tomorrow, and I have my routes to do. So, I will see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael

Forgive the title. I wanted to keep with the royal theme for a little longer.

Anyway, it's fitting because I can drive a car legally on the roads, and without a licensed driver in the vehicle. What is this craziness!? I, who planned on riding a bike for the rest of my life, is now able to drive a car? This world is for sure gone loopy.

And the best part in all of this is that I can finally start filing for my passport. Before when I started researching passport stuff, I learned that I HAD to have a driver's license. My permit or State I.D. wasn't sufficient. That was partially the whole point of getting my license. I wanted to be able to travel. And I joked about moving to a foreign country when Trump was elected, but it wasn't a complete joke. I still want to do that. It has always been a dream of mine to emigrate. Before, it was a Spanish-speaking country, then to China. But honestly, I would be perfectly fine moving anywhere. As long as the country will allow me to live there with as little hassle as possible, I am quite alright with living in any country.

Moving on...

I have lived in this house a week now, and I think I am going to start vlogging. There is a room in the house with a great amount of light, and with me living alone, it gives me a great opportunity to film my language series, or rants about living as a young adult (or am I still considered a young adult at 30?), or anything I want. Plus, it is so quiet here. Most of the time.

Well, that's all for now. I hope to see you around the forums, and until then...

Later!

Michael