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I don't usually blog this often...and I'm not usually so depressing. Anyway, why is it so hard to say the right things to a person you like? My "friend" is fairly insecure it seems...and I'm sucking as far as advice and stuff goes. I'm usually pretty good at lending a helping hand...but I'm too afraid to say the wrong thing. Also a hard book to read sometimes...just so many things going against me, not to mention the fact that said "friend" isn't really interested in a relationship. ...

Well, everything is mostly going about the same as before, still crushing and hating myself for it, enjoying the feeling of having a job and so on. But there's one exception...as if karma feels the need to keep me in a certain balance of bullshit, the jobs program that I got my foodstamps through is trying to **** me and my dad over. The deal was that I got to keep them as long as I got a job. We got a combined $255 a month, which isn't much, but it sure as **** helped.

Now that ...

As usual, one of my favorite holidays brings me pain. It's not the material aspect (though being the poor kid that got to watch his cousins get tons of gifts an shit kinda sucked) I just really wish I had some one to celebrate with. It REALLY just reminds me of how alone I really am...so I spent the day rather depressed...minus the time I was talking to a certain friend.

Ole Lacquer is killing himself again, feeling feelings for some one he can most likely never have. I'm trying to ...

Well I finally started my job, and I have to say it's not so bad. Once I get the hang of working the cash register and stuff, it should be pretty simple. I'll be getting 20 hours once the work week starts (thursday) though if another employee doesn't come in, I'll be working tomorrow night. My first check wont be too shabby

I start work on Monday~ Stoked that I wont be completely broke anymore. Hopefully I get paid soon enough to get trashed on the apocalypse.